i still can't orgasm... no matter what

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by devildoll3584, Jul 10, 2005.

  1. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    ok I have NEVER been able to orgasm in my life... no even on my own. I don't know wtf is wrong with me. My boyfriend and I have been trying sooo many different things but nothing has worked. for example: when he goes down on me he makes the "come hither" motion inside me with his finger... nothing. we've tried vibrators... nothing. warming lube, red wine, haha even horny goat weed but still no orgasm. so obviously we do oral, we also have sex and even anal. it just makes me sad because he tries so hard and wants to make me cum soo badly and so do i. everything he does feels amazing but i know that now hes kinda getting to the point where hes wondering "whats the point? she never gets off..." i know he thinks hes doing something wrong but he is really the most amazing guy ive ever been with. and ive been with enough to know its not him at all. and now we're in love... and i thought maybe if it was a mental thing then i would get over that because we are so happy together now. im just so disappointed in myself- but hes not making a big deal out of it, dont worry about that. i just wish i could cum for him. does anyone have any other ideas? i had some hope before but now i feel like its never going to happen... :wtc:
     
  2. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    your problem is you might be worrying too much about having an orgasm and not enoug focus on just the moment
     
  3. THT

    THT The easy way is always mined

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    Stop thinking about it. Overthink sex and it's no fun for anyone.
     
  4. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

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  5. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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  6. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    recent research indicates that large parts of a woman's brain shut down as she's approaching orgasm too.. the book link will be a big help, but also "stop thinking about it" will too, in the sense that you just need to block everything else out, relax, forget the end result and think about how good your pussy feels right now.

    definitely check the book out though, because I don't think "relax" and "stop thinking about it" will be helpful enough on their own.
     
  7. incubimmer

    incubimmer New Member

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    if howard stern taught me anything its that ugly guys can get chicks clothes 2 come off and that a certain population of women is litterally impossible 2 get off. have yet to meet 1 of them, but sometimes its just a 2 young thing i gather, like u look and feel ready but yer hormones arent or some shit. i dunno im drunk/high maybe u shouldnt listen 2 me.
     
  8. sipherx

    sipherx Jamesl.info

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    If you stressed out, or thinking about something to much this could cause you not to have the BIG O, try and relax and dont expect to have an orgasm, and let it creep up on you.


    if all else fails get a sybian.
     
  9. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

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    I like to think that all of us women can cum. Alot!:)
    Anything else just seems sad & wrong to me. :sad2:
    It may be just a matter of learning the basic mechanics behind it, then 'letting go.' Freeing oneself of inhibitions. Like everyone is saying.
    Knowing your own quirks and turn ons better always helps too.
    I wish learning the basics about ones own body didn't have to be so taboo in our society..Inner labia, outer labia, clitoris, urethra.. clitoral orgasm, uterine orgasm.. vaginal..blah..blah..If it weren't for books & porn..Pffft, I'd have been lost. :hs:
    Then again, everyone has to start somewhere.
    Try out the book, worth a shot.. best wishes. I think if you're willing and you want it you'll get there. ;)
     
  10. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    try spending more time alone masturbating to learn what your body likes and replicate that during sex and move around to you feel that same sensation...that should get you going quick
     
  11. Hunter Michaels

    Hunter Michaels The Real American Gigolo

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    I concur.
     
  12. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    it's not all about having an orgasm. Relax and enjoy that it feels nice and one day it might just happen.

    Good Luck!
     
  13. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    i just dont know how i can relax enough... i mean, to me, i am being relaxed and i try not to think about the orgasm (which is easy cuz now im thinking its never gonna happen) this is just soo frustrating for me. maybe im just not sensitive enough or something. thats been my recent thought, that perhaps its medical and i should see a doctor. its been soo long that this is really my last guess
     
  14. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    how old are you
     
  15. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    ok im 18. and now i know everyone is gonna say im too young and that crap. and i do masturbate all the time- hoping one day i will finally cum but nothing. i really havent even been able to find out what my body likes, cuz nothing happens.

    ok there was one time when i thought i was approaching an orgasm. it was while having sex with my ex. he was behind me in the spooning (side by side) position and we were going really slow. my jaw and muscles around my mouth tensed up and my hands and feet started getting all tingly but then i had to stop. i seriously couldnt move my mouth. what does that mean? i havent tried that position again just because i didnt like the feeling in my face. im an effing weirdo arent i
     
  16. firedancer

    firedancer New Member

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    were you breathing really quickly? sounds like you were hyperventilating a bit - happens to me often - my hands will get stuck in the position they're in and my arms will get all tingly and eventually my entire body starts to go numb...
     
  17. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    no i wasnt going to go that way with the age. i was asking because if you're young its not a problem at all for you to not orgasm. you're ok most women dont experience orgasms until later on in life so dont stress it
     
  18. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    no i wasnt hyperventilating. we were going really slow and i was just laying there on my side. its happened again with my current boyfriend when i was in doggy position while he penetrated me with a vibrator and with one on my cilt. the thing is it doesnt happen all the time. we do the 2-vibe thing quite often and sometimes i get tingly, sometimes not. now that i think about it, it happened with another guy once while he was fingering/ eating me. thats why im thinking it was building up, just not quite there
     
  19. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    but i do stress. why shouldnt i be able to climax with my boyfriend? i just hate it cuz all the girls i know get off during sex, same age as me
     
  20. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    be patient, all good things come to those who wait.
     
  21. Shelby500

    Shelby500 New Member

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    and if u say you felt it building up you gotta keep it up just relax your muscles you're too tense and that causes you more pain so if u relax and go faster it should let you cum...its an all or nothing kinda deal with orgasms lol
     
  22. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    i dont know why but this is really just pissing me off today. usually it just makes me sad that i cant but today is different. my bf has been outta town for 10 days, he comes back on tuesday and i think it would be awesome if i could cum that night
     
  23. JohNny T

    JohNny T Guest

    you're stressing too much, just sit back, take it slow, and let the good times roll! lol... dun overthink, you'll make sex a job more then a pleasure...
     
  24. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    almost everyone is saying the same thing. ive been doing that my entire sexual life. only now does it really matter to me. and my boyfriend. i never had an orgasm before, and i never stressed or worried about it then
     
  25. IreLynx

    IreLynx New Member

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    The only advice I could think to give at this point would be to just revisit those positions that had previously given you the sensation of climaxing. Both positions you mentioned where you felt it building were from behind, which makes me think that your G-spot was being stimulated. Since you've had the best luck getting closer that way, I'd say to persue that in an attempt to achieve an orgasm. It seems like that may be the easiest way for you to at least get one out, and once you get a few orgasms under your belt you'll find it easier to achieve in the future. Then from there you can branch out to trying to achieve one through masterbation, since you didn't mention ever getting anywhere near a build-up that way. Just revisit the scenarios that got you close in the past.
     

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