SRS i sit here at work all day..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Spike2k, Jul 21, 2005.

  1. Spike2k

    Spike2k New Member

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    hung up on Katie. that's the name of, well, her. every song i hear that reminds of her makes my whole body start shaking and makes me want to cry. Green Day - September Ends is on right now. i just want to start crying because i miss her so much. my whole body just feels weak like, it can't go on. i'm so depressed right now i don't evem WANT to go on but everyday i trudge through. I'm taking IT courses right now that i spent 24k on, for 6 months of classes, and i'm doing terrible. i took a cert test last week, the XP Pro exam, and scored a 450/1000. problem is, people in my class are morons and i KNOW what i'm talking about on these exams. i just fuck up the tests. i fuck everything up. i fucked my relationship up, i fucked college up for the 2 years i went and now i'm fucking this up. i'm going to be making 8-10 for the rest of my miserable life.

    I'm tired of feeling like everything i've done in my life has been wrong. i don't know how to save my money, all i want to do is feel good, so i spend all my money on going out and trying to feel good. it's all an illusion though, because the only time i do feel good is when i'm with her. we're on good terms.... going on vacation next week with her, hopefully it will be good. i just don't know what to do. i don't want to meet anyone else. i want to spend the rest of my life with her. i had an ex g/f who i thought the same about. but it wasn't anything like this. nothing at all. :wtc: i feel so helpless, like my life is spinning out of control and i can't do anything except sit on the side and watch. :wtc: hopefully i can get some anti-depressants to rid myself of these sad feelings. i used to think people who took anti-depressants were lame, but now i know why. when you just don't want to go on anymore you need something. i don't give a fuck if it's a drug creating the illusion of me being happy, that's what i want.

    all i fucking want is her back.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    A typical case of NOT having a life of your own.

    Look i'll be honest with you when i say that you are leading a type of life that has caused you a lot of misery. Be honest to yourself and ask ' does sitting behind a computer all day long make me happy? ' , the answer is probably no, and your physical appearance weakens thru this weak kind of lifestyle, true its your own choise which is your right. But its time you get to learn what really makes you happy in life. Happyness is as a result of your loving intereaction with other people as well as helping them out. The rest is pointless and meaningless. So i'll give you some good advice. STOP thinking so damn high about yourself, look take your life in your own hands. Its always been in your own hands, but my opinion is that you are 'too' focussed on other people , tell me wtf do you have to do with them. When there's an F or whatever low grade on your exam card, it only means that YOU 'did not have what it took to get there' and instead of seeing the splinter in your fellow brother , you are forgetting the planck that is in your own eyes. So other people are morons eh, well look at your low grade on your own exam card and ask yourself if that was your own fault. Its very easy to blame others for your own shortcomings, its time for you my friend to stop pretend that you are a genius, and start WORKING RELENTLESSLY to get high grades, on long term and leave the rest of the world for what it is, you have nothing to do with it, you have your own work FOCUS ON THAT.

    And start showing you have a LIFE OF YOUR OWN, being dependent on your girl has caused your own hell ,and blaming others for your own faults has caused you to get low grades, because you should have been studying hard for your own future without pointing fingers to teachers,or other people. Life is you my friends, You have to make something of it. Start putting away 100 dollars every month for the rest of your life, just to show you CAN save money, start studying hard every month just to show you CAN study, start seeing a girl as a companion and not as a dependency just to show you CAN live a life of your own.
     
  3. Spike2k

    Spike2k New Member

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    i'm not blaming the other people in my class. i know i fucked up. i do know that i knowshithough as my teacher told me he thought i was one of the brightest people in the class. you made some good points, especially "start seeing a girl as a companion and not as a dependency just to show you CAN live a life of your own." i guess i am dependent on her. hm.
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    We all have gone through that before...the pain of a broken relationship sucks donkey dung I know. You need to get through that however you need to...listen to all the threads all the time here (exercise, pick up a hobby, go out with friends, eat some nacho cheese chips, etc.)

    Surround yourself with the positives. Rent some action DVD movies with Angelina Jolie, download porn on the Intraweb, go grab your buddy and drive a couple hours out to the beach / park / monster truck rally.

    Don't suffer yourself either financial or mental harm JUST to substitute your pain or as some wacked out way to punish yourself. Your mission on getting over her is to find a way to step out beyond that and show everyone around you that you are better then that.

    I don't know much about anti-depressants as I've never taken them. But IMHO you still have to deal with mourning and loss at some point...whether you do it now or you do it later after the medication wears out is up to you. I rather just bite the bullet...feel like caked shit on hot asphalt for a couple weeks and then get on with life.
     
  5. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    brother ...

    can I ask you a question??

    which is more important to you, the grades or the relationships with your fellow peers??

    because at the end of the day, if you are the smartest dude in a room, it means squat if you can't even communicate with people on different levels ...

    stop looking down on people, and always look UP!! there is more to see in the sky then there is on the ground anyways, mate!!

    this problem with a girl is circumstancial; you can't focus yourself, and own up to yourself as a MAN!!

    just who are you, anyways?? a man, or a scared, wimpy little boy??

    I am sure if this girl saw this side of you, she would reject you in an instant ... so, what are you going to do about it?? keep crying?? or own up to your OWN fucking mistakes and DO something about it??

    shit dude ... the world, and your LIFE isn't over!!

    look at what life is telling you!! pull your fucking socks up and make some friends!! shit, can't get easier than that can it?? :eek3:
     
  6. Spike2k

    Spike2k New Member

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    i'm having a good day today :bigthumb: it comes in spurts of being depressed and being happy. but today is a good day and last night was good too. she has seen this side of me as we had been together nearly 18 months. she's very supportive most of the time, but you're right she does get tired of it. i do need to man the fuck up. i'm tired of being fucking lame. as for friends, i have plenty of them, it's just me getting up and hanging out with them. somewhere from high school graduation to now i've gone astray in my life, i need to get my shit together now.
     
  7. alexs001

    alexs001 Mawk! Mawk!

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    I know where you're coming from... :sadwavey:
     
  8. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    happiness and sadness is a fucking choice ...

    if you want to be a man, then build and stand in your OWN territory, and let your friends COME to you!!

    it is what being a MAN is about!!

    seriously, I have been where you have been, and there is a time when you need to make a choice:

    What and where do you want to be 20 years from now??

    Do you want your current girlfriend to love you so much that you both just explode with love and commitment??

    Do you want to be in a career where you are SO happy and fulfilled, and LOVE your work??

    seriously, it is about the CHOICES and DECISIONS that we make that shape who we are, and what we become!!

    be a MAN and step the fuck off the playground!!

    the only constant throughtout your whole life is YOU, so what are YOU saying to yourself??

    is it GROW the fuck up??

    seriously, mate!!

    I don't intend to be harsh, but I am pushing you with the mere force of my will to get you to see what you are doing to yourself!!

    think it through!!

    breathe!!

    take time to think!!

    live

    love

    Be Yourself!!

    sheesh ... a serious case of History Repeating!! :mamoru:
     

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