SRS I seriously dislike my boss's wife.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by JBunni, Sep 4, 2009.

  1. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    I realize there is nothing I can/will do about this, but I need to rant. And I'm curious if anyone has ever been through the same thing.

    I work for a small company (7 ppl), and I knew my boss as a friend (through 'church') before I was hired. He needed someone in the office, I needed a job, viola. Before I worked there, his wife would help get the mail, do some MINOR data entry, etc. I dont know why, but he put her in charge of hiring someone for the office. She choose me. She 'trained' me :rolleyes:, but it was basically "its self explanatory, figure it out". After that, she pretty much left the office and almost never came back. She does NOT work at the company, she is not on the payroll, she does not contribute ANYTHING to the company. For some reason, she is "my boss/supervisor". :ugh: She doesnt check up on me, or again, even come by the office. However, I do have ask her permission to take off any work, she has the power to fire me, and whenever I talk to her about anything work related it goes BAD.

    Most of the time this isnt a problem, because, as I said, she doesnt come by the office. 99.9% of the time, I work for the husband, the real boss/president of the company. And I love my job for many reasons.

    But when I do have to deal with her, its MISERABLE! I gotta give 1 for instance: I've been thinking about moving to work 4 days, instead of the 3 I'm currently scheduled for. There is an increase of work for me to do, and I could definitely use the money. So I realize, under heavy threat of her firing me, I better talk to her about it before I do anything. So I called her today.

    Me: Hey, I wanted to talk to you about work (we still have a 'church' relationship, but we try to keep them separate.). There has been an increase in work, and I was thinking about moving from 3 days a week to 4 days and wanted to talk to you about it.

    Her: Um...:coolugh: Shouldn't you be asking me if I think there is an increase that you should work 4 days a week? Isnt that how you should approach it?

    Me: Uhh, yes, I'm sorry, thats what I meant to say.

    Her
    : Well, thats not in the agreement. The agreement is 3 days not 4.

    *silence* Me: :ugh:

    Me: Thats why I was wanted to call and talk to you.

    Her: Well, I dont think there has been. I havent seen an increase of mail at the house (the business mail goes to their house, then to the office to me, inputting mail is ONE of the MANY things I do). I dont know, I mean, I dont see there being enough work, unless you're just putting it off to the next day. Unless you just need the hours, why dont you just tell me straight then that you need the hours...

    Me:...well, I also could use the extra hours..

    Her: I mean, he (husband/boss) hasn't told me anything about needing you to work another day. I asked him if he needed another person (we dont, there is only work for one), and he said he was trying to stick with the one person hes got. That to me says there isn't enough work for 4 days.


    Personally I think she's nuts. And this is by far the WORST part of my job having to communicate with her. She said she would talk to the boss about it, and see if they could work something out. Most of the time, I get what I was asking for, she just makes me jump through hoops, kiss her butt, and treats me like a dog before she gives it to me. And the likes to act like I can come to her and ask her for anything. ARGH!

    Thoughts?
     
  2. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    What exactly do you do?
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    stop dealing with her and take everything directly to the owner.

    if he says something, politely let him know that "she's not in the office as much so when something happens, I feel more comfortable coming to you."
     
  4. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    She isn't on the payroll, she' isn't your boss, don't talk to her about these things.
     
  5. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    I'm the 'office manager'.

    Mostly, I do deal with him, but it is 'understood' that she is still my boss. Last time I didnt tell her I needed a day off she FLIPPED. I had it on the calendar, I told the owner, everyone who WORKS at the company knew I had off. And i tried telling her twice, (in person she didnt want to talk about work, and I called but got her voicemail, she never called back), but didnt actually tell her. And she happened to call the office that day. When I wasnt there (instead taking the day with my bridesmaids to do wedding planning)she called me and bitched me out for 20 mins, threatening to fire me if I ever did that again. She even made me sign a 'letter' about it.

    I cant talk to him about it, cuz shes his wife.
     
  6. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Speak to your boss about how you are to report to someone who has no presence in the work place. Ask him how you are meant to discuss things with someone who has no understanding of the current work situation first hand.
    She cannot be your boss if she isn't on the payroll. Is she a stakeholder in the company?
     
  7. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    I'm just not sure how I would ever bring that up to him with out offending him, and if not, he would tell her and she would be offended (for damn sure) and call me and bitch me out again. The only person who has ever made me feel worse that she does is my dad.

    Its an incorporated company, and he holds all the shares, since shes his wife I guess she technically is a 'shareholder'.
     
  8. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    It sounds like he wants the wife to be her boss so if that is what he wants, I don't see how she can get away from that.

    It sounds like it sucks but workable. Just keep on truckin. :hs:
     
  9. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    Yeah thats how I see it. :sadwavey:
     
  10. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    I think the best way to approach it is in regards to her not having hands on, day to day experience with the workings of the place and you think it would be best that you reported to someone who was in the office regularly
     
  11. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    This just sounds like stupid bullshit office politics. Just keep your head low, do your job, and be firm but fair if you need something.

    You: Something came up. I need this day off.
    Her: Blah blah blah you can't have it off blah blah blah
    You: Look, I can't come in that day so I'm letting you know ahead of time.
    *You then exit the room and go back to work

    Or just start appyling for new jobs and get the hell out of there. I hate being put in those types of situations where people who techincally aren't your boss and telling you what to do. Fuck that shit.
     
  12. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    Oh yeah, i've worked for quite a few ma and pa businesses and i've learned that working for a small family business like this usually goes 1 of 2 ways:

    1. The family is super cool and happy that they don't have to answer to anybody and they treat their employees fairly. (5% of the time)

    2. The family is a bunch of selfish power hungry ingrates. They believe that since it is their business and you are their employee that they now OWN you and they treat you like so. (95% of the time)
     
  13. Irvin Washington

    Irvin Washington New Member

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    Your boss seems to have placed his wife in a position merely to occupy her time. Instead of humoring her antics, take it straight to the company owner.

    It's an inappropriate setup, and the owner needs to be made aware of her tantrums.
     
  14. Irvin Washington

    Irvin Washington New Member

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    It shouldn't have went any further than that. You're allowing her to get away with childish behavior by even mentioning the issue after it's been cleared with the owner.
     
  15. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Whatever you decide to do, do it diplomatically if you like your job.
     
  16. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    that totally sucks. personally, if i was in that position, i'd find another job.

    :rofl: your conversation about the working an extra day made me laugh. it's obvious that the wife does not have a life. she's more than likely upset/bored out of her mind with her life and therefore enjoys micromanaging you.
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Why are you letting this woman have so much power over you?

    It may be "understood" that she is your boss, but unless it is in writing, that doesn't mean squat.

    If you take a day off and have notified the owner and everyone else, and she calls to bitch at you for 20 minutes, tell her "I'm sorry, I am off work right now, I do not wish to discuss work" and hang up.

    My sense is that the wife is full of hot air. Keep doing a good job, and don't let her threats of firing you get to you.
     
  18. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    The bold is where you're wrong.

    Tell the owner that, when you have a question or issue, you need someone who will contact you back. Say that you left her voicemails and emails and saw her in person but she didn't want to talk work, so she *couldn't* know that you were out of the office, but now she's holding you accountable for not having told her you were taking a vacation day.

    Don't say it like "your wife's a bitch" say it like "I *tried* to inform her but she's not in the office so she didn't know."


    And btw, if you were taking a vacation day, why did you answer the phone when work called?
     
  19. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    she's sleeping with the owner............if the owner says she's her boss, then she's her boss.

    jbunni needs to change that situation.
     
  20. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Not when it comes to (unfair) dismissals
     
  21. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :rofl:

    yes, even then. what you're calling an "unfair dismissal" they can easily call "not performing duties as assigned."


    please tell me you don't actually believe she'd have grounds for a complaint if she was fired.
     
  22. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    She would in this country
     
  23. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    then if there really is enough work so that you are able to be busy working a 4th day, then prove it to her. the work piles up and does not get done then she will realize something. i got myself a full time job this way.
     
  24. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    the owner of a company isn't allowed to fire an employee he says isn't doing the job?
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :ugh: Why if you only work 3 days a week would you take one of those days off for wedding planning?
     

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