I seem to attract women who are already in relationships.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by StopDrop&LOL, Apr 26, 2007.

  1. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    Im 3 for 3 so far...batting .100 lol. Im not the one pursuing these women though. They seem to take interest in me and it usually developes from there. I have morals and i dont believe in getting with a girl who is involved with another man, simpliy because i wouldnt want someone else to do that to me. Plus, if its someone you want to be in a relationship with, its not a good way to start things off. The first two women i didnt do anything with...well one of them i did, but that was when she broke up with her bf. That didnt work out to well, so im not going to make that mistake again.

    This girl though...WOW! Shes awesome. Shes very beautiful, she makes me laugh, she shares the same values as i, and she is very smart & ambitious. Pretty much all you could desire in a woman. She even offered to cook me dinner next week after our "late night cram session." She makes me feel good when were together, eventhough were not together and she has a man. Im a capricorn and shes a taurus...supposedley were a "great" match for each other. :mamoru:

    We're both pretty young...shes 23 and im 24, and from conversations we've had, i get the impression shes not really into her bf, alhough they've been together ~1.5 yrs. They went out on a date (in my eyes i thought it was) this past weekend and when i asked her how it went, she said they went as "friends." Shes also said some other stuff thats indicative of her wanting to move on.

    I've dated some attractive women, but i feel as though shes out of my league so to speak. For one, she usually dates older guys. Two, her current bf has his own place, i dont. Three, hes working FT, and im still in school working PT, so he obviously has more money and can afford to do nice things for her. Plus, i dont have TONS of friends, very few actually, so i dont feel as though i meet her "coolness factor." I know i shouldnt feel this way about myself, but i guess my last gf hurt me and caused me to harbor these negative thoughts about myself.

    I dont want to step on any toes and get in the middle of their relationship, but what do i do? If she broke up with her bf, i dont think i would date her right away, simplily because i dont want to be a rebound guy. Instead i would rather develope a better friendship first and THEN start a relationship with her.

    Any recommendations?
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Didn't read any more than the topic title. Don't really need to.

    The minute you find out a girl/woman is with someone, move on to the next one. This is assuming you are having a goal of a LTR in mind.

    Here's why you should not put ANY energy into a woman who is with someone. First off, people are often attracted to what they can't have. It's entirely possible that a lot of interest in you is due to you being a "forbidden fruit".

    Second...say you do put some effort into her, and she leaves her bf (if things are going well in the relationship) for you. How do you know she isn't a jumper? How do you know she might not do the same thing to you?

    Third...be a man. Respect people who are in a relationship. Show the attitude of "I'm a mature adult, I'm not going to muck with a relationship. It's not cool."

    So..my best advice....ingrain yourself with the mentality of "You have a bf? Oh, sorry to bother you, cya."

    I know you like this girl...but she is with someone. The worst thing you can do is to think about her. You know she is with someone, and you say you don't mess with other relationships....yet you come here asking what to do?

    Come on man. You know what you SHOULD do. What you're really looking for is either validation to pursue her despite knowing it isn't a good idea, or you're looking for a way to get her to be with you.

    Sorry, I can't help you with that. It's harsh, but it really is the best way to deal with it.
     
  3. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    First of all, im not the one putting effort into this and pursuing her, she is. Shes the one texting me. Shes the one setting up study sessions and future dates. When class is over, i get up and leave and shes the one usually following me. Im confused, im not looking for validation. I like the girl in all, but to be honest, i dont have the strong feelings where im like "oh man, i gotta have her." I could simpliy be happy with just being friends with her. The reason i did entertain the thought of being with her is because were both young (no relationships are set in stone) and will probably be going to the same grad. school.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2007
  4. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    hot girls are almost always with someone or at least banging someone /thread
     
  5. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Someone people are always attracted to things they can't have :dunno:
     
  6. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    Considering i just broke up with my ex fairly recently, having her compliment me and having another female to talk to helps.
     
  7. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    I just got done going through some things with my ex, i dont think i could let meyself develope feelings for this girl who is with another man. I dont think im capable of that :o so no worries there.

    Im not going to be "that guy" thats why at the end of my original post, i said if she does break up with him, id just like to be friends for a while.

    Shes just a cool girl and i enjoy her company. Thats all. I wouldnt let myself do something stupid. I have too much respect for her and for myself. I dont get emotionally attached that easy.

    Would it be wrong for me to just see her/hang out as a friend eventhough she has a man? Shes mentioned that most of her friends are guys, so... :dunno:
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    No, you are batting 1.00. .100 would be 1 out of 10 :mepoke:
     
  9. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    No there's nothing wrong with that. Just keep in mind how she acts towards you and that if you were to date later that this is how she would act with other guys.
     
  10. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    Ive already been doing that :o
     
  11. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    There's already a lot of that :o

    Maybe i should tone it down and just be cool :cool:
     
  12. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    :o
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Without reading the thread and based solely on the thread title:

    I believe that the women who are the least-available to you will show the most interest towards you, and the women who are the most available will show the least interest (even if she is interested).
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Why move on? That never about 20 guys trying to get with my gf. When they fucking saw me every god damn day.
     
  15. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Seems you are having bad luck. Good luck finding that single girl. :hugot:
     
  16. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    truth is strong with this one
     
  17. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    :werd:

    Its all good, im just going to focus on school i think. I cant worry about her right now, i have to worry about myself. She didnt show up to class today and i know she did it to "get back at me" for leaving class the other day and not saying anything. Now shes going to expect me to be available on her time and "study" with her when she wants. :nono: Sorry, but i dont got time for her games, especially when shes already with someone else.
     
  18. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Are you a "nice guy"? Not that you're a bad person for it, but if you meet women who are in relationships that they're not so sure about and are willing to talk with them about their problems, validate them, or just basically provide for them what they aren't getting out of the relationship they are currently in, it seems reasonable that they would act affectionately towards you.
     
  19. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    Depends what you mean by "nice guy." In general, i would say im a nice person. I get along with everyone. Im not mean or bitter...no reason to. In terms of a relationship, if a girl really gets to know me, shows me respect, and breaks down my wall, i open up and show my nicer side. Im not overly nice for no reason like some guys are. Im not the type of person to call someone every 1/2 hour or drops everything im doing just because the girl is "attractive." I dont succumd to women who feel they're superior due to their looks. I dont feed into their ego or play their stupid games. Ya, you might be attractive, but you know what...so am i!

    With this girl though, i dont sit there and talk about her ex. I dont give her advice on what to do. When she mentions him i usually say something to the extent of "oh, thats nice."
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2007
  20. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    so are you finally over that whore of an ex of yours?

    :slap:
     
  21. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    pretty much

    edit: she txted me tonight..didnt respond :o
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2007
  22. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    That was more of what I was thinking, just a hypothesis.
     

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