SRS I ruined my life, need help fixing.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by limited_skillz, Jun 23, 2008.

  1. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    -> came out of high school with good grades, bit socially deprived, very introspective

    -> went to first year university, had a blast

    -> partied a bit too much first year, felt vindication for studying so hard, and now I had a social life

    -> got a gf, the first person I've ever cared about, she was in the same situation as me, I kind of became a recluse

    -> stopped going to class because of social phobia, I just hung out with her all day

    -> failed first year university as a result and got kicked out (shitty, because I was really close to passing, and I got an A in 2 courses)

    -> she dumped me last summer for another guy, I was depressed and existentialist this whole year about it

    -> wasted this past year doing nothing but playing wow and doing a few mediocre jobs (while lying to my parents that I was still in school)

    -> didn't get back into school for this upcoming year, I'm basically isolated in that town with like 2 people to talk to (ex gf that hates me), no reasonable future, nothing

    -> I'm feeling dumber each day, I finally quit wow, but it's just not enough, I can't find a job, I'm socially isolated, I lose friends easily after an intense fun period at the beginning of meeting them, and I'm still slightly bothered about my ex because it was the only time I had that kind of interaction with another human, and it just broke my heart at the end of it, and she doesn't even talk to me anymore for no reason.


    I don't know where to take things. I can't waste another year of my life. I'm already 20, with a whopping 1.5 credits in university, no useful work experience, no friends, and there's nothing in sight despite me wanting to change all of this.

    I just need some suggestions.
     
  2. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    It just seems to me that you lacked direction in life and went with anything that was thrown your way.. You feel that way because you didn't feel in control of your life. I'm guessing you picked a major in school that you were never passionate about?

    It's never too late to find what you want to do in life..Remember, you only get one chance at life, so why not figure out what really interests you...and go for it.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    *Get back into school. Any school.
    *Make sure WOW is never even an option.
    *MAKE yourself go out and do social things. Find organizations around town. Go to the gym and workout.
    *Stop contacting your ex in any way.

    Edit: Duh, definitely find a job. A job that requires you meet people. Being a server at any restaurant can make you money and also force you to meet a lot of new people.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2008
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    A) it's summer....get a job any job where you work a minimum 40 hours. I would suggest you get 2 jobs. Hell you're young, you'll live! I did and so did thousands of other people.
    B) As you progress through the rest of the summer, follow beer's advice.
     
  5. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    Well I have to wait til the winter to get back into school, because my parents are still paying for rent in that university city, I'm just subleasing for the summer. I can get back into my original school, I just need to get a professional psychiatrists letter about my social phobia.

    Either way, I've decided I need to just get my shit in order the next few months before winter semester. If I go to school right now, I'm worried I'll mess it up again unless I've developed somewhat since last time.

    She doesn't want to talk to me for some reason, so it's not like I can talk to her if I wanted to. It bothers me as to why. I have a new gf now, but we're kind of on the rocks and going nowhere, I'm going to officially dump her the next time I see her.


    The thing about work is, that I've never worked retail at a place. I worked at a grocery store with my gf for 2 months this year, but it ended kind of badly with the manager, so I don't have a reference there. The few jobs I've had are office agency type ones, and it's usually only for 2 weeks max. I've applied to one or two agencies here, but they've only called twice in 2 months, and it was to a place I really don't know existed. I don't have a car either, so it made it 100x harder.

    Everyday I check websites, I look around community centers/libraries for postings once a week, I ask around from people I know. I know it's necessary, but I also know that a job won't fix everything in my life. Most likely, like all my other jobs, I'll have to wake up early, travel an hour, and most of the people (if not all) there are going to be 40+.

    If I found a job, it's 99% guaranteed that it won't be social.
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    So you're making excuses as to why you can't work. Great....that's a sure fire way to failure.

    Get out of your comfort zone and go to work. You don't have to drive an hour, find a job you can walk to. There are literally thousands of small businesses around that you can work for....and don't over look public transportation, riding your bike and walking.

    You're young, you're supposed to be working various odd jobs so get out there and go to work!

    I know a job won't solve all your problems but it doesn't matter. You're lazy and you need to bust that up. You need to work not because it will fix all your problems but because there's literally no greater motivation for working hard at school than working shitty jobs. We've all had them.

    So apply for 10 different jobs today. Do the same thing tomorrow. Notice I didn't say, look for 10 different jobs I said APPLY. You'll find something soon.
     
  7. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    No there really isn't in this town. It was poorly built. We've had a 25% growth in population in only 4 years.

    There's no offices since it's classified as a town (with 250,000 people lol) and it isn't allowed. There's only retail, which I've applied to a billion times and been turned down for having no experience. If you have your job here, you keep it. It's basically just a suburb with houses, and people commute to other far off towns to work.

    I want a mediocre office job, but there's no bus routes to the place that I've gotten into. If I wanted to go there, it'd probably take 4 hours by bus, where it's only 30 mins by driving. (which isn't an option).


    I don't want to say I'm making excuses here, but I got jobs alot easier in my university town. I've been looking closely at jobs downtown toronto, which would better suit to me, but I haven't found any.
     
  8. Punky72

    Punky72 New Member

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    Um......what about fast food places. You can usually pick up a job from those type places pretty easily. Not to mention, I rarely see people 40+ working in those places so it would also be an opportunity to meet new people close to your age.

    Do whatever it takes to get your butt back into school!!!!!! You cant really get anywhere in life anymore without some sort of degree.
     
  9. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    I thought business was open to whatever. It didn't matter what I did as undergrad as long as it wasn't completely useless.

    I did enjoy some of the material in class, and during this past year I reread alot of stuff I didn't bother with in first year. I really wish I tried. I'm going to try and get back into the same program again.

    I can't say I'm passionate about all of it, but it definitely excites me at times.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Your situation is similar to mine.

    Brief cliffs:

    Was always really smart, but was incredibly bored with the slowness of highschool, so would skip a lot. Still passed though. Went to university, where I'd skip a lot, and wound up doing poorly because of it, and dropped all my classes in the second semester of first year.

    I wound up working various jobs for five years, often considered suicide, etc. I went bankrupt after two of those five years.

    Eventually, I got a decent paying (although shit) job, and worked it enough to save money. I was about to buy a car, and then realized I could go back to university instead.

    Since then, I have got straight As (or A+s) in all my classes. I'm taking a triple-major which most people are astonished by. I was the only first-year who got a summer research position, and this year I got a research grant under the supervision of the head of the department. All of my supervisors have been impressed and happy with the quality of my work.

    All of that, I can credit to my experiences after I dropped out of university. I learned that life wasn't easy or fair, and if I wanted breaks, I had to make them happen. I learned a work ethic, and to show up every day, whether or not I thought I could get by skipping a class or not.

    The point of all that is to tell you that things can and will get better, and that even your hard experiences are benefiting you.

    I suggest that you focus on building your life, one step at a time. Find out what you want to do, and never let anyone deter you, especially not a woman. A woman who truly cares about you will both understand and agree that your education/work is important, and that you need to go, even at the expense of plans/time with her.
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Get.A.Job.

    Any job.

    Doing anything.

    You have no idea how much of an impact employment has on your psyche. Being self-sufficient is virtually a panacea for depression.
     
  12. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    it always matters as an undergrad. Grad school is competitive. You need to be able to make a better case than the other guy as to why YOU should be admitted. What you take, how well you did, etc, is all a factor.

    Also, while I'm not certain about business, in the sciences, you need a MINIMUM of 3.30 GPA to get into a grad school, often it's closer to 3.6 or 3.7
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    .

    You're not actually getting out there and applying, you are just whining and browsing online for openings. Get out of your comfort zone, things aren't just going to fall into your lap. Stop thinking you have to work in an office job. I call bullshit that there aren't at least 5 restaurants within a 5 mile radius.

    Get a bike. Gas prices are high, but you live near a university so I KNOW there are tons of easy jobs available near you. You can bike to work. My friend does it and he saves incredible amounts of money while also staying shape.
     
  14. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    Alright alright I manned up and applied again to a few place. People always say you have to really stick it in their faces and call again and again. I always thought it was a bit rude, but whatever.

    Oh and I can't ride a bike because of vertigo. As soon as I look down I pretty much fall off and have to vomit.
     
  15. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    I hear you about living in Toronto... This is exactly why I moved in here, even though I lived about 30 minutes from Toronto by Gardiner. There are so much more things to do and you really don't need a car. I do have a car, but I only drive it to work. Grocery shopping, friends, going to the gym, I only use my bike...
     
  16. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    What is the part that excites you? The fact that you can make money?... That's not really a good thing to get excited about if you don't like what you'r doing.
     
  17. dymondboy2f

    dymondboy2f Second place is the first loser.

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    In all your posts you make an excuse for one thing or another.


    You are exactly why I don't give a dime to homeless people. They're all like you.
     
  18. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :werd:
     
  19. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    yeah, at this point I'm going to have to say

    shut the fuck up and stop your whining

    seriously

    do you think someone is going to swoop in and solve all your problems for you? Because I got news for you: it's not going to happen.

    Your life is your responsibility. Not anyone else's. Do you know what that means? It means you prosper or fail by your own choices.

    What do you want out of life? Whatever it is, do what is necessary to obtain it. No one's going to say 'well, you tried really hard, here you go!'

    If you're wondering why I'm so hard on you, it's because I spent quite a few years whining about my problems and making excuses just like you're doing, and it wasn't until I got it through my own thick skull that I had to do it myself that my life got turned around.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :bigthumb: On applying. And yes, call them all in two days, say who you are and ask if they've looked over your application yet.
     
  21. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    It's fucking hard man, I've been pampered my whole life by my parents. Hell I just went to the library, my mom was like oh no don't walk it's too sunny, I'll drive you when I get home. I didn't take the drive, but I usually would.

    It's the same reason I'm lying to them about being in school. I like the responsibility I had in my university town, I had to make my own food, do the small things I usually wouldn't, get myself to work. Just 2 months here has made me receed completely.

    I really need to snap out of it. All throughout high school I never had my summer job of my choice, I had a job my dad got me. He never wanted me to work retail or anything because he thought I was too good for it. While I didn't enjoy working at a supermarket this year, it was an experience.


    I've been kind of a dick to my high school friends about life. They're always like hey when you gonna get a car for your own and work and stuff, and I'm like fuck off assholes, I've fucked more girls than you and actually have a life that's going somewhere, plus I actually have parents who give me things. Then I go home and wonder why I can't get a job, and feel like whiney fuck for feeling like my life is going nowhere.

    You guys are right though, there has to be somewhere in fucking bus distance that's hiring that I can get into. I just need to keep asking around have no barriers from it.
     
  22. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    Nah it's the whole way a unit consummates. You read the chapter, do some examples, learn the different variables.

    Then the actual cases on the exam are fun as fuck when you feel that your knowledge is being transformed into something.

    I like the course structure. Actual business though, I don't care much for it.

    Probably doesn't come as a surprise, but I'm not really interested in making money.

    I don't care if my job is something I actually like, I understand it's just a way of survival. Not very many people like the work they do. You can just make it bearable with the people you work with.
     
  23. dymondboy2f

    dymondboy2f Second place is the first loser.

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    wait wait.


    you're fucking 20 years old and don't own a car?:ugh:

    And there's a difference between being pampered and babied.
     
  24. limited_skillz

    limited_skillz I'm a dumbass!

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    I don't know many people who actually own their own car at my age. It's less than 30%. Again, most people here just take the subway downtown to work. Buses can take you to where you want to buy things. I can't think of a reason for a car at this age unless you've been in the workforce since out of high school and don't have a tuition obligation.

    All the money my parents gave me for this year for tuition, I've saved every penny of it. I don't have any money for myself. I wanted to go out and have fun the past few weeks, but I didn't. I'm not going to undermine what it was for. That's the difference between me and a bum.
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Welcome to the real world
     

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