I really need to meet some ladies

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by afterShock81, Jul 31, 2007.

  1. afterShock81

    afterShock81 If I could only have one food for the rest of my l

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    I gave Match.com a shot this month, mainly because I haven't been meeting anyone when I'm out (which is rare). I've been pretty piss-poor in approaching females, which is the large part of my problem. For what seems like forever, I've been doing the let 'life take its course' and I'll meet someone. I'm kind of sick of that approach, because it's gotten me shit.

    Pretty much for the past year, I've been relying on 'friends of friends', which has got me some random play, but no girls of substance.

    So I give 'match' a shot and meet a few girls that seem pretty interesting. I somewhat hit it off with one of them and we talk about arranging a meeting after a few emails. Well recently, she hasn't responded to an email (which was unusual compared to how the previous went) and a phone call (my first to her).

    To be honest, I'm not sure why I even care since I've never personally met her, but I just figured females on 'Match' wouldn't play stupid ass games. I'm not sure what advice I'm actually seeking, but I'm pretty sure I need to just get off my ass and meet females, whether its on 'match' or out in the field.
     
  2. A Cow

    A Cow OT Supporter

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    im in the same boat.. ive been trying plentyoffish but that sucks balls..

    ive gone to bars etc.. i can meet them.. but all they want is a one night stand.. and... Earl aint down with that..

    so any advice il also take.. lol
     
  3. donpisto

    donpisto New Member

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    I can relate to you guys somewhat. Early college days i would wanna go out with girls and did with some but never got why things wouldnt work. There's many reasons and it will vary. I'll list a few.

    1. Don't get too clingy
    2. Be yourself
    3. Be confident
    4. If it's not workin with one, move on
    5. Most of those sites, the girls are really picky and remember, you are too. Also, only a small population of girls are on those sites.
    6. Depending on where you're at (club, bar, school, work, party) will also have some sort of effect on what a girl may be open to, maybe look elsewhere.

    Plentyoffish.com sucks. I used it bout 4 years ago and met up with 1 person, I had a better success rate in Yahoo chat rooms.

    I remember going through times where I would try to ask girls out, trying to be smooth and whatnot, and really, it seems like only some girls buy that. I do remember times, especially one, where I came off as the outgoing and fun person I am. This girl came to my work (worked at a smoothie place) and asked where she can find a map or book or something on a certain country in the mall. I told her where she could go, but then i told her she was just saying that to make conversation with me. Sounds corny but it worked (wasnt even doing on purpose, she was being serious but i hadnt believed her, haha). Point is, don't worry to much about what the girl will think of you, be who you are and if they don't like you, forget them, plenty other options out there. More you ask, more chances you'll have.
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Inviting a Woman on a Date is 100% Normal

    From reading some of the posts here, I get the impression that many of you guys think you are somehow doing something wrong by inviting a woman on a date.

    I want you to pay attention to the wording of that phrase. I purposefully avoid the phrase "ask her out."

    Why?

    Because "asking her out" has all sorts of connotations that go back to when we were young kids. For youngsters, "asking her out" means asking her to "go steady."

    Your purpose isn't to "ask her out." Your purpose is to invite her on a date so that you can spend time together and get to know one another.

    When you see a woman you are attracted to, you need to realize that you don't have enough information about her. Most of men's attraction to women is based on her looks, so automatically we think she is perfect for us.

    The problem is, you don't have enough information to make this determination.

    You have criteria of what you want in a woman (and if you don't have criteria, you better spend some time figuring it out!).

    How do you gain the information that you need?

    First, you approach and talk to her. Then, you request her phone number. Next you plan a date, then call her and make the date invitation.

    Very simple steps.

    The problem is that men today do not believe this is normal. We think we are somehow doing something wrong when we try to do the steps. So instead, we look for shortcuts.

    We give her our number, then bail because we are afraid of rejection.

    We become friends with a girl, then confess our feelings to her.

    These are shortcuts. You have to do the steps listed above.

    The goal is not to somehow trick her or circumvent the steps. The goal is to discover is she's interested, while at the same time closely watching what she does to learn if she is the type of girl we would like to have a long term relationship with.

    That last part is very important. Even if she's interested, we may discover she isn't right for us (because she's a smoker, has a chemical dependency, or whatever). That puts us in the position of dumping her.

    Many of us have never dumped a girl early on. If she's willing to see us and fuck us, we aren't going to dump her under any circumstances. This can get us in a lot of trouble (been there done that).

    You need to examine your beliefs regarding meeting women and going on dates. If you find that your beliefs are not consistent with the reality that inviting women on dates and talking to women, and asking for their numbers is 100% normal and natural, then your beliefs need to be addressed and changed.

    Do not fear "rejection." What is rejection, anways? Its a woman letting you know that she doesn't like you. Is it possible for every girl to like you and want to date you? Absolutely not!

    When she rejects you, she is giving you information. Before you talked to her, you didn't know if she was right for you. Now you know for a fact that she isn't!

    You can't get what you want without risking rejection. The key is how you deal with it. You can be happy that she let you know early on so you don't waste your time, or you can let it hurt you emotionally.

    Dating used to be a huge mystery to me. So instead of learning how to do it, I would just date whatever girl showed the most interest in me. The problem was, they were choosing me over other guys, but I wasn't choosing them over anybody. So I ended up with women who weren't right for me.

    How can you find the girl who is right for you, if you aren't out there dating many women? What are the odds of the first girl you meet being "the one?"

    Keep it simple.

    Talk to her. Get her number. Make a date. Invite her on the date.

    If falls by the wayside at any of these steps, then so be it. She has made her decision, and she won't be looking back. Neither should you. Immediately start the process anew with a different woman.

    You can let your fears get in the way, or you can feel those uncomfortable feelings and DO IT ANYWAY. That's what courage is: being afraid, but still taking the proper course of action.

    And talking to her for the purpose of going on a date is the proper course of action.
     
  5. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yail you have no idea how much that just helped me

    dumping this bitch today.
     
  6. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I have not been meeting too many new ladies, I just always seem to be busy with work, friends, family, or doing my own thing. The only reason I have been getting laid recently is because a girl I have known awhile wants to be FWB :o
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    bullshit on bar girls only wanting a one night stand. If you call a girl at the bar who already went home with you and try to set up a date for the next weekend and she doesnt jump at it, you screwed something big up.

    sounds like an excuse. Take my word for it, its really not that that easy to nail the one night stand and it is absolutely trivial to get a number and get a date.
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    :wavey:

    details?
     
  9. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    Yail Bloor GOD DAMN THANK YOU!

    I JUST broke up with a GF of 5 years (living together with a dog/house for 2) and I am "back on the horse" this has cleared up sooooo many unanswered questions in my head.

    Thank you VERY MUCH!
     
  10. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    Stay off of the internets for dating(in my opinion) The girls on there either:
    Uno. Have a kid and want money
    2. Psycho
    3. Messed up in the head.
    4. Psycho.
    Just look outside everywhere you go. The places you go determines the kind of people you will meet. Example think about the people you would meet at a gym compared to people you would meet at McDonalds. Tell yourself "I need to learn to talk to ladies" instead of "I need to meet some ladies".
     
  11. afterShock81

    afterShock81 If I could only have one food for the rest of my l

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    Thank you - this is great advice.

    On a sidenote - the girl mentioned above in my original post 'emailed' me back instead of calling. Here is her reply:

    "Hey Darin--
    I saw that you called last night..I'm sorry I missed it, and by the time I saw it it was too late to call back. Anyway, I appreciate you giving me a call. However, I recently started dating someone else, and I don't really like to date more than one person at a time, so I don't think it would be a good time to get together right now. But, I'll definetly let you know if things change..I'm sorry! I was looking forward to meeting you, but I want to be fair. Have a good week and I'll keep in touch:)"

    I'm glad she at least said something back -- whether its true or not who knows. Should I give her a cordial response back or just not say anything
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    move on, no reason to reply
     
  13. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Awesome post.

    I bolded what I thought was particularly important and what people here need to pay extra attention to.
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Do you do all of this already, or are these new ideas you will be acting on?
     
  15. SquallRm

    SquallRm New Member

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    Though online dating shouldn't be your foremost option, I say why not, in fact a lot of good looking women use internet to meet guys. Its a myth that only fat and weird people look for love on the internet.

    Style talked about online dating and he used nerve.com

    Here is some of the stuff he says:
    -Not use a picture.
    -He contacted a girl without who had no photo, but by reading weight/height description. ( he thought girls that looked good didn't post photos cause they'd be flooded with emails)
    -he asked "write three things that would let me get to know you better"
    -he made a point system for her to earn the photo of him.
    -he met up with her and got laid.


    David D got a entire special DVD set, u can download that somewhere, and guys talk about how good they are, that women from all over the states fly out to fuck their brains out.
     
  16. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    For the most part I do/know most of that already.

    But it is always nice hearing someone reiterate such important topics.
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    :cool:
     
  18. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i don't like her but i string her along anyway idk she's not for me.
     

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