I really need some relationship advice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by poo_noodles, Mar 26, 2006.

  1. poo_noodles

    poo_noodles New Member

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    I've been with my "girlfriend" since July. At first we were friends/fuckbuddies, then about 3 months later I realized I liked her/loved her. In the beginning the love was more on her side, but I eventually got mutual feeling.

    Fast forward to now. For the last 2-3 months we have had a rocky relationship. She drinks 3-5 nights out of the week and it causes strains in our relationship. I don't like her friends because they are materialistic frat/sorority types, and I am nothing like that. There have been plenty of nights where she says she isn't drinking, comes back to her apartment drunk, and leaves me waiting for 2-3 hours then presumes to become self-righteous after I call her out on it.

    We are now on a "break" because she doesn't think it's healthy that we see each other every day. We had done that for almost 2 months and didn't really have problems until I became frustrated with her drinking and she became mad at my "controlling" what she does. That part is understandable because I wanted to see her and not have her choose drinking with her friends over me. Now, I'm fine with seeing her 2-3 days out of the week since I have school. But what confuses me is that on nights where she goes out with her friends, she calls me drunk, telling me she misses me and wants to hang out.

    I really feel an emotional disconnect with her and don't know what to do. She wants the convenience of a relationship but wants to go out and drink the same amount she did, knowing I dissaprove. I work and go to school full time, while she does neither and stays at home. That's fine, everyone has a different financial situation. But she drinks in an apathetic way and doesn't attempt to do anything. I know she has a lot of potential and is artistically inclined/very bright, but won't apply herself.

    I guess I realize that we are completely different people with different goals in life. I have a career in mind and work my ass of for it. I have quit smoking weed and hardly drink (except for lately, hmm!), and to me it seems like a slap in the face that all she does is drink. This break has made me start to look for other connections, but I want to be with her. I think we can work out at some point, but not right now. Every other week we have the same arguments about her drinking and I can't stand it. It's mentally straining to me and I don't really need it. I love her and wish she could figure herself out and what she wants. Any advice on what to do.

    If we're going to take a break, I want to take a real one. At this point it's me basically having to accept what she does since "we're not dating." But she wants the emotional aspect of it, and she can brush my emotional needs aside. We never go out because she doesn't have money, and we don't have any common friends. I don't know what to do...ugh.

    Cliffs: Girlfriend drinks too much for my taste, doesn't work, doesn't go to school, drinks apathetically. We'r eon a break where we still have sex/see each other, but at her convenience. My commitment is becoming strained because of the drama, but I love her.
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I'm going to say the same thing in here as I did in the main forum.
    She obviously doesn't want a commited relationship. You're a fool if you put up with this also.
     
  3. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Out of everything you have said, I dont see what makes you love her. All you have mentioned is the hurt, pain, drama and disregard for your emotions that she shows....What exactly about her makes her worthy of your love? That should answer your question as to what your next move should be.
     
  4. erobbins

    erobbins Active Member

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    so you have nothing in common, want different things from life, she doesn't respect you, and yet you still love her?

    you need to lose this chick
     
  5. Camron James

    Camron James New Member

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    I am going to concur with the previous posters on this. You *want* to love her, but nothing you have said indicates that you *should* love her. Too many people stay in painful relationships for the sake of convenience, and that is part of the reason the divorce rate is so high: convenient relationships are not meaningful relationships.

    For your own sake, get out now.
     
  6. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd:
     

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