Girlfriend, ex now, and I have been dating for a year. Rocky start at first and lots of issues. Basically I felt second place to her drinking and hanging out with her friends. Broke up twice, and lately we had worked things out. She quit drinking and cut off contact with friends who weren't helping her. She has a done a lot of positive things to change her life, and I haven't done any really. I'm wanting to quit smoking, it makes me second guess myself, makes me anti-social, etc. We're both 20, and have a psuedo-marriage and we are each others companion / best friend. We've always had the problem of different interests and different friends. We go out with different people on the weekends and do different things; meeting up when we have free time, which is plenty during the summer. I'm going to start a campaign for my political career, and my band will start to play out within the next month. Right now, I am going through a lot of changes. Most of my friends are moving and I have to find a new group of friends. I go through phases in my life where i burn bridges with all my old friends and start a new transition in my life. I can tell I am doing that now, but don't want her to fall victim to it. I am also trying to change my personality, mainly being less cynical and jugemental. I don't know what to do. I love her and think we would be great together in a month or two. I don't expect her to wait around while I fix my shit. I don't know why I can't do these positive changes with her around, but I feel that I really need to develop my personality and point of view on an individual level. I want to be with her for a long time and there are core things that would make it great. But right now, my immediate interests are taking priority over her and I know that I can't put into what needs to be. I would be putting her on the backburner until I figure out how to balance school, work, girlfriend, band, political career, family, etc. I have a lot of shit on my plate and need to focus on the band and political career before I can develop stronger relationships with any of my other things. Anyone have any advice? I'm so lost, and I am miserable. I am a complete dick for her doing all these positive things I more or less demanded, then left her hanging because I am scared of not knowing whether I can handle everything in the future. I guess it really comes down to not being able to commit how much I should, especially since this point in the relationship would be the defining one of whether we are meant to be together for awhile or whether we (mainly I) can't handle it.