SRS I phucked up and lost the love of my life...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Sean John, Apr 20, 2005.

  1. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    :wtc: We've been together for about 3 years. Well, close to 10 months ago, I had a "fondle fest" with her friend. That was the extent of it. It was all of 2 minutes. After it was over, I realized I had screwed up big time and had no clue as to what to do. When I saw the friend, we never talked about it or even thought about it anymore. Well, time went on and I asked her to marry me and she said, yes. The following week we went to vacation to St. Thomas and had a great time. This was in Dec. Well, back home, everything perfect. We started looking at homes. We found one and was going to close in about a week. By this time it's March. I get this call from her telling me to get my shit and go..I'm like WTF is going on..Well, the friend decided to tell her. I ended up moving out, house dreams gone, marriage off. At this point I am fighting to recover what we had. We were perfect..Never any fights, if we did it was over DUMB stuff. Well, I asked her who she's told about us because I am curious as to know who knows our marriage is off. Se told me she talks to her boss(married man) about it. He was recently married and she wanted to get a guys thoughts on what I did. Over the last month, I have bought more flowers, wrote more poems, and done all I could think of to get her back. She'd tell me she wanted/needed atleast 2 weeks of no contact with me to see if she could regain her trust. Each time we'd try it, one of us would call the other. So it was like we'd be together, but if I wanted to stay or I asked her the wrong relationship question, she'd remind me of the break. Well, I started to get suspicious. I got her phone bill and saw she was talking to her boss more than she was me. Damn near double within a month. Sometimes at like 2am..Sometimes up to 70+ minutes at a time. This set me off. I confronted her on it and she told me after talking to him, she got attracted to him. They each told eachother if they were not in the situation they were, they could end up together. So I instantly asked had she slept with him. She told me NO, it's all been phone talk. I asked how could she tell me she needed space from me to re-evaluate our relationship with US, but end up falling for a married man that is sneaking to call her. He has to be calling when his wife is sleeping or not around. She could not answer it. I asked her to stop talking to him and she told me she didnt think she could do it. I asked her WTF was she thinking. If she saw herself getting feeling for a man she could do NOTHING with but fuck him, why wouldn't she walk away. She's smarter than that. Anyway, lastnight we had "the talk" and she said she wanted to be by herself right now. She can't get over what I did to her friend and she could not see herself giving us another try if she has doubts.:wtc: . She told me she was going to tell him to stop calling effective today, just as we agreed to not talk for a while. This whole thing has made me totally different. I snap instantly on people and I'm not happy anymore. There are things I left out because this would be a 2 page thread, if I gave all details, but you get this gist...I'm so lost w/out her.:wtc:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 25, 2005
  2. 1337

    1337 Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

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  3. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    Wow. :hug:

    I don't know what to say....
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I think what you did was harmless. By falling for her married boss, she now has an opportunity to see just how rediculous it is for her to be mad at you since what she's doing is far far worse. But it's her life and it doesn't appear like she's making any progress whatsoever on learning her lesson. There's nothing you can do. If she doesn't grow up, it's her loss.
     
  5. mstinawu

    mstinawu i like being spanked

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    What you did was not that bad, but you definetly should've of mentioned it before you proposed.
     
  6. TnShyLady

    TnShyLady New Member

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    You shouldn't have done what you did, but......if she is messing around with a married guy, you do not need her. She is not to be trusted either. So sorry for your heartache tho. Been there too many times myself.
     
  7. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    I didn't think what I did was that bad either. However, I do realize I was wrong and nothing can change that. I called her lastnight to see if she told her EX-boss to stop calling and she would stop calling him. She told me she was NOT going to. She knows she doesn't want anything from him. She also revealed that he is seperated from his wife right now, too. So that makes me feel like she left me for him. She claims not, but why else would she want to continue talking to him, considering she told me b4 that each of them said they could be with each other, if they weren't with other people. I told her I have never been put 2nd to another guy with her and I want nothing else to do with her until she makes up her mind. I also told her if she fucks him and realizes I am what she wants...DO NOT come back to me..I don't want her back if she fucks him. It's been sad this whole time, but after lastnight, with her kicking me while I'm down, I don't care if I see her anymore. I removed all her pictures from my place, cellphone, even took her name out of my phonebook(cell). Today, I am going to her place and take the remainder of the crap I have over there which we agreed could stay there in case we ended up back together. I told her I did not want to hate her...She's making it rather hard on me. Also, her approx 2ct plat ring is FOR SALE. Appraised at $10,250.......PM if interested in pics...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2005
  8. gubment cheese

    gubment cheese New Member

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    Good for you brother...move on. you know what she has already done, and she doesn't deserve you anymore.
     
  9. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    I leave them in there so that I see the call display and can ignore their calls. Just a thought :)
     
  10. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    Wow. That's beyond rough. However, be glad this happened BEFORE you guys got married and bought a house. Or worse, had kids.
     
  11. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Some day you'll be very happy you didn't marry her. The main reason you can't get back with her is that she's so infatuated with her boss. You believe she didn't have an affair with him...Come on. The only reason she fessed-up was because you confronted her on their long phone conversations. If she's this pumped to get it on with the boss it just makes it all the more easier and tantalizing for her to get caught up in the affair circuit in the future. The bottom line is that you will never trust her, ( and for good reason.) You can do better then her.
     
  12. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    If you two are broken up/spending time apart what's wrong with her liking someone else? besides the fact that she's homewrecking...
     
  13. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Amen to that.
     
  14. TnShyLady

    TnShyLady New Member

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    Sweetie, you are so much better off to have found this out. If he is separated, don't fool yourself thinking they have not been together. You deserve so much more than her. Please don't feel the need to rebound back to her if they don't work out. Believe me, she may some day realize what she lost in you, but she had her chance and messed up. I have done this before and once they have cheated it is NEVER the same. If it is true ever lasting love there is no desire to lust after anyone else! You seem like a real sweet heart and you will find someone that will treasure you.
    Why would you invest that much money in a ring?! Never do that again! There are beautiful rings out there that cost a third of that!
     
  15. Killa B

    Killa B Abuse This!

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    She should of been able to get over what you did, exspecially if you were planning on marriage
     
  16. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    Thanks!! I am still taking this sooo hard..She's going to FL this weekend. He's going to be there. I asked her if she found herself in a position that could involve sex, would she do it....She told me I can't answer that...:wtc:
    I totally lost it. I have no idea how she could feel this way for another person 2 months after being with me...We had so much together. I've fought so hard to get her back..I've had no desire to be with another woman..I wasn't able to sleep lastnight, i'm a Tylenol PM junkie. It's so easy to fall in love, but so hard to get out..:wtc:
    I did tell her there is still hope for us, but if she tells me she slept with him, I won't be able to ever have anything with her....Mainly because this would be planned. I am so sexual with her that I would not be able to get over him doing it to her..If she does this with him this weekend, it shows me that she's totally given up on us..:wtc:
    It's so hard when you're still in love with a person and find out they do not feel the same way for you anymore.
    The summer can't get here any sooner, so I can go out and try to get over her.
     
  17. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    That's what all of my family and friends say to me...I really thinks she wants to, but she is now head over heels for this EX-Boss. Especially now he's recently seperated...I honestly thinks she wants him. We'll see after this weekend. If she sleeps with him...She can HAVE him.:noes:
     
  18. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    It's OVER.. 4/26/05...for GOOD!
     
  19. lebomb

    lebomb New Member

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    Apparently she slept with him............
     
  20. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Sorry bro. I know it feels like shit, but the sooner you begin to let go the sooner you can get this feeling behind you. Bitch to us of you have to.
     
  21. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    Wow, I'm really sorry to hear what happened man. You've already shown remorse for your previously actions with her friend and she can't get passed that but likes her boss... I think you definitely are better off even though it will be rough times for a while. You should definitely spend time with friends and family to help you through all of this.
     
  22. TnShyLady

    TnShyLady New Member

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    I know it seems impossible at this time, but you will get over it. No words can be said to make you feel any better, I know.....been there. It just takes time. And getting out will help. Just try to smile when you go out..ya know, grin and bear it. People will avoid you if you mop around too much. Depression makes the other people uncomfortable. You have morals and I am glad to see you won't lower your morals just to get her back. And keep your chin up my dear. There are some good ones out there, let her see your smile and she will find you.
     
  23. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    Thanks for all the advice and support.. It hurts so bad to loose a person before you feel like it's time to be done. I can't believe things are going this way for me. She has totally torn me in pieces. However, I'm working on healing now. I put all her memories in a container and taped it up. Once I closed the top, I closed our relationship forever. It's amazing how easy it is to fall in love, but it's so damn hard to get out of it..:wtc:
     
  24. lebomb

    lebomb New Member

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    Imagine being with someone for 15yrs.........met them when they were 16yrs old.......dated for six years, get married, have 2 kids and then she cheats on you............marriage over. A history down the drain. That is what happened to me. Took me awhile to recover, but boy did I!!! Happily remarried to a wonderful woman.:bigthumb:
     
  25. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    Good for you, Bro! Hopefully I have a similiar outcome.
     

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