LGBT I need your opinion on what to do

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Spout19, Apr 14, 2004.

  1. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    My girl and I have been going out for 2 years and 4 months. SHe recently went to mexico and kissed a guy twice for 2 seconds in a five minute period. SHe says he was a real gross kisser and when i asked if he had been a good kisser would she have kept kissing him she said she didnt know. SHe had been drinking but was not drunk. and for this whole 10 or so days she never told the guy that she had a boyfriend. they only hung out like 3 days till he left and "they were never alone" infact her friend was sitting by her when she kissed the guy or when the guy kissed her. WHat the hell should i do? i need your opinion! im lost and dont know what to do
     
  2. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    she came out and told me right away and said sorry about a million times i want to dump her but its so hard
     
  3. gigaboy

    gigaboy New Member

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    do you see yourself being happy with her...i mean can you genuinely forgive her and move on with her? or do you see this as something that will hurt the future of your relationship if you do just forgive her?
     
  4. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    you guys are just awsome!:wavey: your so really nice about it. But i have put some thought into it and we have been going out for 2 years and 5 months so i think i am just gonna forgive her:) ONly because everyone I have talked to that went down to mexico with my girlfriend also say that its the atmosphere and mood that makes people kiss. And if thats the case I recomendPlaya del Carmen Mexico for your next vacation hehe. Stay in a resort though cause you get all the free drinks you want:bigthumb:
     
  5. DejaVooDoo

    DejaVooDoo *Jojo*

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    Honestly...can you REALLY forgive her and not throw it in her face every time you two get in an arguement/you don't get your way? If you can say yes to that and reallt mean it, I think that you should consider staying with her for a while longer.

    Think about it...if you were in Mexico and some girl kissed you...would you turn away and say, "NO! I have a girlfriend." ...though it shouldn't have even gotten to that point where you two were close enough to kiss.

    Why weren't you on vacation with your girl? Does your girlfriend still seem remorseful? Can you tell a difference in your relationship since she got back from vacation? Do you feel as though it is better, since you missed her and you are glad to see she is home. Or do you feel as though it is worse since you look at her like she is a slut now?

    ...honestly..I cheated on my boyfriend of over 3 years on Dec. 23rd (kissing and oral with a co-worker I had a HUGE crush on), and felt so guilty about it, I told him on Christmas Eve (merry christmas, I know). He thought he could get over it, and I thought I could get over the crush, and neither of us could...I moved out 2 weeks ago. At least be glad this person she cheated on you with doesn't live in the same town/work with her. Good luck!~
     
  6. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Sorry, but what we think doesn’t really matter. It all boils down to you, and your feelings. In what light do you see her now? A good question, that was already posed, is what exactly do you see when you look at her now? AND can you ever see yourself trusting her again? I mean, if you are going to hold animosity towards her for the duration of your relationship, or feel that you can never trust her again, then just end the relationship now. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in relationships where something like that dramatically changed EVERYTHING and I’ve learned that to draw it out in hopes that maybe some day it will get better is futile. It’s like putting your relationship on life-support, and trust me that in these situations, it saves a lot of pain and suffering for everyone to just pull the plug, and try to move on with your life. Sometimes it's best to just let something be put to rest, but it all boils down to how you feel.
    :sadwavey:
     
  7. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    I guess my first question would have been, "why did you kiss him?"
     
  8. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    :slap: It was already explained that it was the water. ;)


    I really uhm, think the excuses your friends gave you are just that....excuses. If you marry her, and she goes somewhere and the "mood is right" what is going to keep her from breading the butter? There's a bit of maturity and self-control here and she needs to figure a few things out.

    I mean it's Mexico, but you'd think you would still remember that you're in a relationship. :hs:
     
  9. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    :moon: :big grin:
     
  10. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    You guys are all right, thank you so much for your opinions! I thought about it some more lastnight. And the answers she gave me were not good enough. I need better answers. SOmeone asked what exactly do i see when i look at her now and even though its beed a day since i found out, every time i look at her i see her kissing that guy. It sucks so much. It was such a surprise when she told me, and she told me right away and said sorry a million times. But the things that bother me is that i asked if he was a good kisser would she have kept going and she said she didnt know, and that she never once told anyone down there that she had a boyfriend. When i asked her about why she didnt tell anyone she had a boyfriend she told me cause she was feeling self concious and the guys hitting on her made her feel better. IS this a good answer?
     
  11. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    If that answer is good or not, all depends on if that is something that you can accept. I mean, if you believe in that whole ‘vacation fling’ thing, then fine. If you feel that her feeling self-conscious/needing-to-feel-good gives her a license to cheat, fine. However, from you posts, you seem the type of person who feels it is wrong, but are seeking someone to tell you it will all be okay. Well it’s not, if you want my honest opinion. I feel that she threw away the years that you two invested in the relationship the minute she consciously decided that she wanted a vacation from you/your relationship and ‘played’ the role of a single women.

    She cleared that path, and built that road…I think it’s high time that she walked it.
     
  12. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    are you like a shrink or soething cause it sure seems like you know what you are talking about hehe and so far your dead on. Well im heading to her house right now to talk to her. I dont know whats gonna come out of it but I will post it later tonight when i get back. But thank you guys so much for the advice and help. You guys are just awsome. If you need help or advice or something Spout19 is my AOL Instant messager name! thanks so much
     
  13. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    We shall discuss your bill later…;)
     
  14. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    Why does this always happen to the nice people... :(
     
  15. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :hs: Because we give more of ourselves, and unfortunately, that means that there is that more for someone to take...

     
  16. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    I was asking myself the same thing over the last few months. I thought I may have found someone with some potential back home, and he turned out to lack a spine as well. I'm staring to wonder if there isn't anyone out there that knows how to communicate directly, stand up on their own two feet and come with a spine. :(
     
  17. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    Well so I talked to her today and I am gonna give her a second chance. I thought about it long and hard and talked about it even longer and i dont think it is worth giving up a great thing like this over two, 2second kisses in like 2 minutes. But i am still a firm believer in its alwayss easier after the first time thing so if it does happen again I wont even think about going out with her.
     
  18. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    I tried to put yself in her shoes, being in Mexico, a little drunk, and very lonely because there are couples all over and its such a romantic place. ANd having some very beautiful girl come up to me and kiss me. I cant say i would go through with it and i cant say i wouldnt go through with it. And i am definitly not saying its ok to cheat on people as long as you are in mexico.
     
  19. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    LOL I have no money I am a poor college student........BUt i know a hit man incase you ever need someone knocked off:rl:
     
  20. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :eek3: ...noted.

    But I wish you well in your relationship. :bigthumb:
     
  21. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    I've decided that it would be more fun to become a hermit. Want to buy an island with me? You can live on the north side. :hs:
     
  22. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Sounds like a good idea to me. Lately, the idea of living the life of a hermit doesn't seem so bad. It sure does beat having to go through the dating process and dealing with people's bullshit. :hs:

    I just don't understand why people can't be honest and up front. I realize that it's not always an easy thing to do in all situations, but when you're dealing with people's hearts and emotions, the responsible/admirable thing to do is be honest and up front with them.

    I have a tendency to be blatantly honest and in most cases, people know exactly where they stand with me. Somehow, I find it hard to understand why others can't grow a spine.

    meh....'nuff rambling for this morning.:mb:
     
  23. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    :mepoke: It's a "me" world. :(
     
  24. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Yeah I know. I've gotten a crash course in learning that. :(
     
  25. Spout19

    Spout19 Guest

    You have to take the good with the bad
     

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