SRS I need some quick advice...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Vysion, May 6, 2008.

  1. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Okay so I met this girl on Facebook a couple weeks ago. She messaged me so I knew she was interested. I responded back to all her messages with (IMHO) a great cocky & funny attitude. I think she was getting hooked.

    So after about a week and a half of her messaging me everyday to every other day I felt that her interest level was high enough to meet up and hang out. So I told her I had to do some shopping at the mall and told her to meet me there this last Saturday, which she gladly did.

    I had a great time with her at the mall and the rest of her is cute too :naughty:. But we only hung out for about 2 hours and I suggested getting lunch but she said she wasn't hungry because she had a late breakfast so she was just going to take off. By the end of the 2 hours together I couldn't tell her interest level anymore. I'm not sure if I wasn't what she expected or not. I told her thanks for going shopping with me, and I made 1 big mistake... I asked her if I could call her again... I shouldn't have asked, I know it was a wussy thing to do. I should have told her I would call her again. But I think I did everything else right and 1 little mistake might go unnoticed, and she said yes that I can call her again sometime. I got a hug and we went our separate ways, because we were parked on opposite ends of the mall.

    Now here's my question. I am not desperate nor do I want to come across as desperate, but I dig this chick and I think she digs me but I can't really tell. I haven't messaged her or called her since I last said goodbye on Saturday. And she hasn't messaged me at all since then either. Which is kind of odd because she was messaging me every other day before we met. But she could just be waiting for me to show some interest first... I'm not sure.

    How long should I wait to contact her again? I would like to hang out with her this Friday because this Saturday is Mothers Day, but is that too soon? And how soon should I message or call her again? I was thinking about messaging her today. Is that too soon? Again I don't want to come across as desparate but I want to get to know this girl. Please forgive my dating ineptness... I haven't dated since high school. :hsd:


    Cliffs: Girl I never met messages me. She looks cute and seems interested in me. I tell her to come to the mall and meet me and go shopping. I had fun but couldn't tell if she did or not. How soon can I contact her again? :noes:
     
  2. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    WTF 10 views and no one to give me some advice...???

    Fuck it. I'm gonna stop acting like a pussy and message her already.

    /thread
     
  3. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    You're thinking way too much. Just tell her you'd like to hang out again and give a set date. You'll be able to know if she's interested in you based on that response. She'll either say yes, give some half assed excuse, or give a genuine excuse. There's only 1 of those reponses to where you should then pursue, which is if she says yes. If she gives the other 2, it'll be up to her to contact you if she's still interested.
     
  4. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Cool thanks for replying... That's what I was looking for.
     
  5. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    ^^ you got it. Good luck :)
     
  6. Traker82

    Traker82 New Member

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    Let us know how it goes.
     
  7. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

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    yeah let us know what happens
     
  8. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    You are thinking about this waaaayy too much for a girl that you only hung out with for two hours.

    Typically, if a girl is interested in you she will change her plans to spend time with you, just like you may change some of your plans to hang out with a girl you are genuinely interested in.

    It sounds like she lost interest, but I would just call her and invite her to hang out. As said before, if she blows you off, then let her be the one to contact you from now on.
     
  9. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    hey, just fyi, Mother's Day is Sunday ;)
     
  10. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    We were right. It appears she has lost interest in the 2 hours that we met. I messaged her a few days ago and she hasn't responded.

    It all just makes me wonder why before we had met she seemed so interested in me, but then after we met for a couple hours that interest fizzled. I don't think it is my looks because she saw my pics before she ever met me, and even called me a "cutie" in some of her messages.

    I have some problem in my social skills and I don't know what I am doing wrong. It isn't just with women though. I have a couple really good friends, but all my other "acquaintances" even though I try to invite them to hang out and do stuff they never really return the favor and invite me when they are doing stuff. I try to be an interesting person and have a good time wherever I am, but it is almost like my social ineptness portrays to other people that I am uninteresting. I just wish that I could be the outgoing center of attention that people like hanging out with and has a large group of friends. And I know quality is more important than quantity but right now with only a small handful of friends that are all married with kids it is hard to find others that want to hangout. *sigh*

    And without a good base of friends it is hard to meet other friends and women.

    How can I become more interesting to people when hanging out with them?
     
  11. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Yeah thanks, I made a typo... I was thinking Sunday but wrote Saturday.
     
  12. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    For me, being more interest consists of two things: asking questions they have never been asked before and listening very well (with enthusiasm).

    Fairly early in the conversation I'll reveal something personal about myself. After that, either he/she will feel much more comfortable in revealing something personal about him/herself.

    For me, my Dad is a sensitive/personal subject. Sometimes I'll tell how it makes me feel about my Dad (not in a sappy ass way though), and then they are quick to say "My Mom/Dad....". People eagerly want to talk about the stuff that means a lot to them, so if you can get them to open up about it and talk to you about it, they'll feel a connection with you like they only have with people they have known for years.

    Part two is listening great. When they make a significant point or say something interesting, your facial expression and body language should show that you are interested. If they say something that they feel is a huge deal, drop your jaw (in an exaggerated way) and say "No way!" or something. Just find ways to be enthusiastic about what they are saying. Smile big, tilt your head back when you laugh hard, get wide-eyed, single-eyebrow lift, you know.

    I think a girl with animated facial expressions is one of the hottest things she can do. Mrs. Plain Jane with the paralyzed face can put you to sleep in conversation in minutes.

    Check out this video....she is an actress, but I think her mannerisms and expressions alone bring millions of viewers:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7oSpnXd5GY
     

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