SRS I need some insight and advice...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by TurboLagIs4Play, Feb 24, 2007.

  1. TurboLagIs4Play

    TurboLagIs4Play New Member

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    FYI: This is going to be a long read. I'd really like the people that offer advice to have read the whole thing, because it's important. Thanks OT :).

    Well, back in December of '06 (so 2 and a half months ago), my boyfriend of 7 months and I broke up (we'll call him WD). Things just weren't great and he wasn't being the best of boyfriends. This had been a progressive thing. We had broken up before (he used to break up with me around once a month, or more), but we always got back together shortly (no less than 2 days). Well, finally he left me and I was tired of being treated like that, so I decided to just let it go and move on. I loved him a lot, but I was tired of being so hurt all the time.

    So, I started to heal and move on. We kinda started "talking" again, but I was pretty sure that things were over. Then I met someone else (we'll call him JT). Feelings were apparent just about the second we met and we started to hang out a lot. Well, we were just about to make things official
    and then WD started to try to get me back. And when I say try, I mean do everything possible to pull me away from JT and back to him. Well, I resisted at first, but quickly fell into it and realized that I wasn't sure that dating JT was the best thing to do. But, I didn't know.

    I decided to give WD and chance. He told me that he wanted to take me out to dinner one night, so I got ready and he came and picked me up. He ended up taking me back to his place to make dinner for me. After that he kissed me and well...we ended up having sex. I cried the whole way home and told him it was a mistake.

    I told JT right away. I am a very honest person and refuse to let shit like that go unsaid. JT told me that it was okay, that he could forgive me, and that it wasn't really his place to be angry b/c we weren't dating. But, still...I knew it hurt him.

    Well, over the next week and a half, JT and I grew further apart and WD started becoming more involved in my life. I went through some medical procedures and he was the one there for me. Then he got put in the hospital and I realized...I want him back.

    So, we "talked" for a while and started dating on Valentine's Day. Everything was great. He was a totally different guy than the one that I had dated before. But, things started slipping away. I would occasionally see glimpses of the WD that hurt me so bad before. I started to push myself away and just became unhappy. Since we got back together, I just can't see myself marrying him. Is that bad? I mean, I love him a lot. But, I can't see myself marrying him. I kept trying to tell myself that I would see it in time, but Idk. I used to be able to see it when we dated before, but I just can't. That scares me a lot. I also remember telling him when we broke up the first time, "What happens if things do change and we do get back together? What happens if we're still not good together?" That's the point that I feel like we're at.

    I talked to a few good friends about it and just tried to work things out in my mind and figure out what was going on. I still felt a need to apologize to JT in person (we hadn't really talked since WD and I started talking again). So, on Monday I went over there and we talked things through. I told him that I was sorry for the way that I treated him and that he didn't deserve it. He said that it was okay and asked me about how things with WD were. I told him what was going on and he told me, "Just make yourself happy; then you can worry about other people." I left his place and met up with one of my best friends and talked things over with her. After that, I felt like I knew what I needed to do. (Now, don't think that I did it because some of my friends though that it would be best for me. I'm not that kind of person and haven't ever done that...and don't plan on starting now.)

    So, this past Wednesday, he and I had a long talk and I told him that I needed some time. I told him that I needed to be happy and that I just had a bunch of stuff to think about. So, we decided to part our ways. Well, Thursday JT and I hung out and we ended up kissing. Was this a good idea? Prolly not. But, we talked about things shortly thereafter and decided that if anything was going to happen that it needed to be given a lot of time and to go really slow. I'm not really ready for anything right now.

    Well, now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I love WD VERY much and would like to see things work with him, but I feel like they're not going to. Idk. Part of me would love to see where things go with JT. I have feelings for him and love the fact that it would be a fresh start. But, I'd miss that comfortableness that I have with WD.

    So, what do I do? I know that everyone is going to say, "Just stay single and give yourself time to figure out what you want." But, I mean, other than that...

    I'm not looking to jump into anything. I guess I'm just looking for some insight and advice...
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2007
  2. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    You will never know if it was the right thing to do for the simple fact that you didn't do it. To be honest with you. You probably should of. Could of been something good there for you!

    Dumb!

    You really didnt want that to happen!


    Alright. I think that you should try things with JT for the simple fact that it would be a fresh start and it's probably something that you need. Also, it seems from what you said in your post that JT is very understanding which is nice(don't take advantage of it).

    Well, thats what I have to say on your post. Just remember this. You never know how good things can be until you try something with someone else!
     
  3. TurboLagIs4Play

    TurboLagIs4Play New Member

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    Thanks for the advice. JT is a really good guy and likes me a lot. So, we'll see :). We're supposed to hang out today :).
     
  4. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Well good luck. Hope everything works out for you. Keep us posted or I should say me since I'm the only one who has posted on this.
     
  5. TurboLagIs4Play

    TurboLagIs4Play New Member

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    Haha! I will. I just need to sort things out with myself before I start anything with anyone. But, I think that I just need to let my life happen and stop trying so hard to control everything. There's a bunch of stuff going on medically in my life right now and it's really hard to feel like you have control when you really don't. Thanks for posting, though :).
     
  6. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Well, see here is the thing. You should really never try to control your life. If you do so you wont live your life to the fullest and you might/will regret a lot of things for doing so. So you should just let life take you were it goes! You will be a happier person by doing so.
     

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