SRS I need some advice...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by shocker2, Nov 11, 2004.

  1. shocker2

    shocker2 New Member

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    Ok just this morning i call my GF to wake her up (because im just that nice of a guy) and she answers the phone tired as hell and starts questioning about what time I went to bed last night...i claim i didn't know...she persists so i tell her 3am....she starts b_tchn about "hope you have fun being tired all day"....this because she knew me and my room mate were playin halo2 last night and just to set the background straight i don't ever play video games the room mate just got it so i said id give it a shot...(side note Halo2 is pretty tight)....anyways its 7:15 am and im really not in the mood for the attitude so i hang up on...she blows up my phone until i finally answered it like around 7:45 on the way to work...she starts in again on me and i tell her that i really didn't want to fight cause it is really gettin old...she agrees that its getting old so i tell her i think we need a break...after a long pause she states that she doesn't want to stop me if thats what i feel but I could tell she obiously wasn't wanting the break...so now im at work and been thinkin about it and to tell ya the truth we have been together for 3.5 yrs coming up on sunday...I haven't been happy in the relationship for several weeks now but i feel like sh_t here at work and having a hard time thinking about actually being with out her....what should i do....
     
  2. SixFour

    SixFour Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut! OT Supporter

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    first and foremost you should talk to her. the two of you should sit down and have a conversation about the way you both feel. I don't know how old you are but you'll soon realize that in a relationship, you will have problems. there is no way around the arguing and fighting, anytime you jam 2 different people together, there are bound to be differences. you should both discuss what you really want and make a decision.
     
  3. shocker2

    shocker2 New Member

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    yea see we have tried to sit down and talk about things but then she just starts crying and i just kind of hide all my emotions...this is the first time that i actually went through with trying to take a break....im 20 she is 18....last year around this time we took a break she initiated it and i was devastated i felt like shit and couldn't ever concentrate then we got back together and everything was great but see she wanted her break so she could know that she could be independent and in yet know if she really wanted to be with me...now i kinda want that same thing...deep down i really feel like we are like soul mates...the other thing that has caused us to kinda go down hill in my perspective is that the intimate part of our relationship has fallen off not only in bed but also something as simple as kissing has almost stopped and ive told her that i need more attention and we have discussed but nothing has changed...
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    This is pretty worthless, I don't feel like you two are bonding very well and question in high amount wether you two are made for eachother. Really i don't know if either of you two is ready for a long term relationship, well at least she isn't because she has a strong urge for freedom, so she tends back to go to solitairy again to obtain this and leave you. It seems to be all about lusts and not about taking the burdens, because with relationships comes extra responsibility and restriction of freedom,she simply cannot handle these things yet. Give her time and freedom, then this issue might pull straight again. Oh yeah , never call her in the morning again, she seems like she has a early morning tempor. This relationship needs some glueing back together, see every relationship requires maintanance and attention , it doesn't matter wether your 1 or 100 years together it always needs work. Give it some time, people can change.
     
  5. Isolt78

    Isolt78 Guest

     
  6. shocker2

    shocker2 New Member

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    yea i know i think im just going to lay low on the relationship for a little bit and play it out...i don't think she wants freedom but she is controlling....but i have gotten used to that
     
  7. Isolt78

    Isolt78 Guest

    No, don't get used to it!!!:nono: Rebel! :rl:
     
  8. citylights.

    citylights. New Member

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    She got mad at you because you stayed up late?

    Oh, ok.
     
  9. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    It's the natural progression of a relationship. She's unhappy with her life, so she's taking it out on you. You get upset because she's starting to nag. Honestly I think the relationship is too serious and therefor too intense for her. I think she wants a break and is trying to find excuses for not being happy with you, but she also doesn't want a break because she doesn't want to lose you. You feel like she's unappreciative because you did a nice thing by waking her up. Yeah, I did that too. :o My advice is to stop doing that. It makes you seem weak, which makes her self consciously think that you are not "man enough". If you ask her about it she'll deny it because she has no idea what she's experiencing. If you want your relationship back, don't treat her like you think she's your soul mate. Get on with your life and get some individuality. Define who you are so that you do not need a relationship. Most of all you two should relax and not be so intense. Step out of that "this is true love" mentality and just look at each other as good friends. If you keep thinking you're soul mates when you're unhappy, it's just going to extend the frustration much longer because you will keep making excuses for her and therefor will never see things clearly
     
  10. shocker2

    shocker2 New Member

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    thanks confucious....and to all others...i appreciate it
     
  11. Bella

    Bella New Member

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    Where do you want me baby?!
    You just spoke my life:eek4: but we arn't together anymore
     
  12. It sounds like neither of you is pleased with the way this relationship is going. The chronic arguments, and the persistent disregard for both of your needs has simply eroded you both down to a point where it appears that you're both frustrated with each other.

    I'll be clear here: I don't think you're soul mates. I think you have a close relationship and care about each other, but it doesn't appear that either of you is really capable of continuing this relationship at this time. I'm not telling you to end it, but what I am saying is the compatibility just doesn't seem to be there any longer based on what you've told us.

    Unless you are both able to be flexible and begin focusing on what you both can put into this relationship rather than what you can get out of it; I don't see these conflicts ending, or the relationship surviving for too much longer.
     

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