SRS i need patience......

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Radiohead, Jan 15, 2010.

  1. Radiohead

    Radiohead Everything in its right place...

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    my husband and i split almost 2 years ago but never got a divorce. i started dating someone right after but he never did until recently. the thing is, i want him back. the reasons we split in the first place don't really matter anymore. in other words that's not the issue.

    for the past few months i've missed him really bad so a couple of weeks ago i broke up with my boyfriend. i sent my husband an email the other day telling him how i feel and that i wanted to try again. he answered only to tell me that i had bad timing because of the girl he is seeing now. he said he wanted to try again but couldn't just stop what he was doing. he says the girl he is seeing didn't do anything wrong so he can't just end it and wants to think about it.

    i can't eat or sleep and i'm sooooooo stressed :( i have a feeling like things will work out but i have no patience. i want to call him but i don't want to push him away. i just want him to tell me something so i will stop freaking out. i'm so scared....

    just wanted to rant.....thanks
     
  2. lrochat

    lrochat New Member

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    I know the feeling of wanting someone back but being too late because that someone has moved on. It does feel like torture that you were so close to having them back and they slipped away.

    I'm sorry I can't offer any advice but I can say that you're not alone in feeling this way.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
  3. Nite_Lilly

    Nite_Lilly Member

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    Me too!:sadwavey:
     
  4. Capt. Slow

    Capt. Slow Member

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  5. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    What made you change your mind? Why wait until he was unavailable to want him back?
     
  6. Radiohead

    Radiohead Everything in its right place...

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    i didn't wait till he was unavailable to want him back; just waited to tell him after he was seeing someone :hs:
     
  7. accelerator

    accelerator New Member

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    There are two ways I can respond to this:

    Logical me: He is now with someone else. They both deserve a chance for things to work out. Based on that, I'd ask you to move on (as hard as it may seem).

    Emotional me: You like him, he likes you...just wait a bit more, and you both can give it a shot again.

    Having given both opinions, and re-reading what I've written above, I'd ask you to listen to the logical me, because you may be thinking that the reasons you two split up in the first place are now no longer there, when in fact they are very much existent, but merely dormant.

    Also, the other person he is with does not deserve to be dumped simply because you might like him. You would not like to be put in a similar situation either.

    The choice, though, is ultimately yours.
     
  8. jim1234664

    jim1234664 New Member

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    i feel like you made your bed by running to someone else right away and now you must sleep in it.
     
  9. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    please don't contact him, you've likely already affected his relationship with the new girl somehow from that email and neither of them deserve that.

    if things dont work out with the new girl, i am sure he will contact you
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    this seems contradictory to me. If both of you really wanted to be back together, you could make it happen.
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I understand exactly what he's saying. For you, the past might be irrelevant, but for him -- he may be looking out for number 1 now and doubting whether he wants to put himself into a similar situation again.

    Clearly he likes this current girl too, so conflicting emotions can take time to work out. In fantasy land, everyone makes perfectly rational -- easily explained -- decisions about their emotional wants and needs. In reality, feels are convoluted, subconsciously driven based on past events -- and even, entirely at odds.

    Let him go for now -- to the best of your ability. He knows where you stand and will make his choices when he's clear about what he's looking for.

    You would do well to think it over too. What is this relationship really about that compels you to want to try again? Did he help make you a better person -- or at least want to be? Does he improve the quality of your life, or did you find it stressful and often difficult? What do you truly want to experience?

    Figure out those answers in their completeness, and you'll be in a great position in your own life, with or without a lover.
     
  12. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Honestly this.
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I'm curious to know why did you split 2 years ago, who's idea was it, and what made you want him back after 2 years?
     

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