SRS I need help.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Want2race, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    So here is the deal.
    I've dated the same women ( who has a kid) for a couple months and everything has been going well. The one problem we had was in the bedroom. I was on Zoloft which fucks up your ability to get off. So I spoke to my doctor and we agreed I could probably go off of it. Everything had been going pretty well.

    So about a week later she started "the time of the month" and has gone super depressed. SHe lays in bed, doesnt want to do anything and isnt communicating as much as I would like. I figured it would end but its now been 7 days and its beginning to bum me out and make me depressed. So I am half tempted to call the DR and go back on zoloft because I would really like to feel good again. At the same time I feel like I could be fine if I dumped the gf.

    I do like her. I just want her to be happy. I think that if I dumped her I would be happier than I am right now. I dont really want to do that because I am sure she is going through more than she is telling me.

    Regardless I feel worse than if I had been dumped and dont know what to do :(
     
  2. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    isn't big enough for the both of us
    Then what the fuck are you waiting for? Be a man, if she's holding a lot of info from you, why should you care? If she would only tell you when you threaten to break up with her, theres a big trust issue you need to deal with.

    Dump her. You already know you'd be happier. Just do it.
     
  3. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Maybe you guys are spending too much time with each other. Take a break :dunno:
     
  4. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    well she hasnt talked to me properly in 3 days. She wouldnt answer any of my 2 phone calls yesterday.

    I sent her a text message this morning (because thats the only fucking thing she knows) and said "Whats going on, are you ok?"

    I got "I dont have time to deal with this right now" and basically Im done.. As much as I like her. I think shes got issues bigger than I want to get involved with
     
  5. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Ok, so you were on Zoloft, it was causing sexual dysfunction, so you talked with your physician and discontinued treatment. Outside the bedroom everything is was going well.

    So she's menstruating and experiencing depression as a result, is this correct?

    So because your girlfriend is unavailable, you're feeling depressed as a result? You don't have other people in your life, or other activities to take part in while she's going through this period (literally)?

    Are you depressed because you're suffering depression or are you depressed because your girlfriend is dealing with her monthly cycle?

    Let me get this straight. You're telling me that you would be fine, and could go without medication, if you exit this relationship? Are you also saying that your girlfriends biological health issue is causing severe strain between you two, or only you?

    Just not when she's struggling with her health, is that correct?

    People aren't always happy, they suffer health problems, traumatic events, sadness, grief, and sometimes PMS and other associated female related problems. You do understand this, yes? Or is it that you simply can't accept it?

    Is there fighting going on between you two during this depressed period of hers? What is the relationship -- simply on pause?

    What do you suspect she's going through, and what exactly about how she's behaving is causing depression in you? What do you think it is? I need to have the full truth and the whole story to be of any help here.

    What do you mean? It really sounds like you want out of this relationship for more than the reasons given. What is going on here?
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    It sounds like you just flat out don't want to be in this relationship because she's dealing with something that came up recently. Have you considered telling her something like this:

    You: Listen, I know you're going through something right now, and I understand that, however you're not communicating with me, and that's not acceptable for me. As a result I no longer want to date you. I hope you recover, and it's very unfortunate that you were unable to be open with me and to communicate with me.
    Her: I was open. blah blah
    You: I don't feel like you were, and what I feel is enough for me to make my decision.
    Her: Fine, blah blah blah
    You: Take care.

    Obviously this example is oversimplified, and assumes she'll lash out. However she may not. I just think it's important for you to also communicate honestly and completely. This way you can walk away and have better relationships. It's good practice so you're clear about your needs and what you want.

    If this works out, fine, if it doesn't -- you were clear and honest, and that's a strong benefit to your character.

    Let me know what you end up doing or saying.
     
  7. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    I spoke to my massage therapist today and we came to the conclusion that she has someting going on and the best thing I can do is support her. So I decided I'm going to send her flowers saying very little in the card and if she comes around. great. If not. its over. She isnt even answering when I call anymore
     
  8. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Sounds reasonable to me.
     
  9. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    I am on depression medicine that can cause sexual disfunction.
    My doctor has always told me that it was alright to take a vacation from that med.
    He said that if I wanted to be in tip top shape then schedule it like 48 hours in advance. Stop taking 2 days before.

    It works.

    The trick is to not go more then 3 days without taking it.

    Naturally it is the sort of thing you should talk to your doctor about.
     
  10. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Another option is Wellbutrin. It does not cause sexual side effects if I'm not mistaken, increases energy, decreases depression and attention deficit issues as well as improves memory and cognitive function. You can look it up.

    Zoloft works for some people, but I've generally heard mostly negative things.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    From this and the other thread you made about her in the Vag it sounds like your relationship is beyond over. Break up, get back on Zoloft, or do whatever you have to to make YOURSELF happy.
     
  12. Durandal

    Durandal New Member

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    Clearly you have no idea how effective medications such as Zoloft are. Apparently you think you are better informed than people who have spent their lives studying medicine and the human brain. So either you're just plain ignorant or you have the biggest superiority complex I've ever seen.

    I take Zoloft, but I still get hard and all that good stuff. I didn't even know it caused sexual problems. But yeah, give her some time and if that doesn't work, break it off so at least you can be happy.
     
  13. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    You can get hard with no problems. The hard part is getting off during sex. I never have and it BLOWS
     
  14. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    You arent providing much help if you have no clue what she is going through.
     
  15. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    I sent her a msg today.. We are done. Not because I want to be but because she wants it to be that way.
    I guess ill say what I have in my mind.
    I cannot blame you for having what you do on your plate. Thats something I cannot control. I have been pretty upset at what has happened lately. I obviously liked you more than I ever imagined I would, especially as quickly as things happened.
    I am however upset that you havent told me what I did wrong or whats going on with you. I though we were close enough to have that kind of conversation but apparently I was wrong. I do miss you and would like things to be "cool" again but obviously there is something I do not know. If your interested in salvaging anything or would like to tell me what I did wrong, I would be all ears. You have my numbers.
    Regardless I wish you and [your daughter] all the best for now and the future.
     
  16. chucklenut

    chucklenut New Member

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    isn't big enough for the both of us
    Why the fuck are you giving her the option of contacting you again? Why would you tell her "you have my numbers" and all of that, then say that you don't want to be with her anymore?

    You need to figure your shit out.
     

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