So here's my problem. Ever since I can remember I have had confidence issues from not being comfortable with myself and have had a lot of trouble trusting people. All of this as a result of problems I have had with my father. My parents divorced when I was a year old and though he visited me almost every weekend, it was short lived. As soon as he started a new family I significantly dropped on his priority list. Over time it made me feel inadequate and I've never really been a happy person, along with the above mentioned problems. As a result of all of this I have very few friends, and I am never completely comfortable in any relationship with anybody (this includes even my mom and step-dad). And not too long ago I found out that the girl I have been dating for three months thinks that I am not attracted to her because I'm not affectionate enough, don't touch her, don't try much of anything with her. In the three months we have been together we have done nothing past goodnight kisses (which she initiated the first one). I am too scared to initiate anything more than that, because I have some deep fear that any advance I make will be unwanted. Even when she has flat out told me it won't be. I always feel like an outsider and a lot of the people in my life tend to just fade away. I recognize that I have pretty big issues, but I don't know how to go about fixing them. I can't exactly go see a psychiatrist because it will create a lot of problems with my job (i'm in the military and my job requires people of sound mind and seeing a psychiatrist would cast a shadow of doubt on me and create gigantic problems that I have no need for). What I'm looking for is advice on how to fix whats wrong with me, possibly from someone who has been through and come out of the same situation. Self help books, meditation, I'm open minded to possible solutions. Thanks in advance.