SRS I need help with relationships... (males and females)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Alternative, Sep 2, 2005.

  1. Alternative

    Alternative Guest

    Im going back to school in about a week and I want things to seriously change for myself. During my entire bachelor's degree, I was a quiet kid who would usually avoid social contact with other students. I was quiet in class. I rarely studied in groups, etc etc...

    Last year I had one friend who I talked to and studied with, but finding more has been very hard for me. Let alone being able to actually have relations with females in my school. This year I would like to become more active, but its going to be a challenge.

    My problem is with anxiety. I live in a constant state of anxiety. Whether it be in social situations or sitting by myself in the library. I'm always aware of whats going on around me. I can't concentrate on what im supposed to do, rather I just concentrate on everything around me. Doctors, meds or psychiatrists have not helped me at all.

    I'm also brutal at carrying on conversations. I just don't know what to say to people. For instance, I have met girls at school and have studied with some on occasion, but I don't know how to get to know them. Seems that all we ever talk about is the subject we are studying. For once I would like to be able to talk to these people when we are not studying and perhaps get to know them better, but I can't seem to do this. Also, I would like to get to meet male friends since I really have none at this point in my life, nor have I had any for the past few years. Where in school does one meet friends? I'm sure I could meet them in the library, in class and during lectures and what not, but again, how does one go about doing this?
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You need a little bit more 'jamaica' in your life, you know 'relax man' Western society in general along with some people are too 'tight' in their own body, even when i just listen to jamaican music i get a sense of ease, before you can make room for someone else you have to make room for your own style. What you talk about is just sheeps and cows, as long as it fills, you want to stay in a convo? Then start asking questions, just start practising with your parents or loved ones, talk about machines, the weather, the sun the moon, there's so many irrellevant things to talk about. The general rule is that saying something unless its negative is better then nothing. You can change and with me it started with singing that i am myself and no one else. I don't have to justify anyone but myself, its easy whatever is on your mind just spit it out. You have to see it as a dam in your head, you have to breach the dam and let the water flow.
     
  3. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    malibu.... its seriously easy goin'.....

    i agree 1000000% with homebot up there about jamaica, except for the music, it annoys the crap out of me.... but they are mello.

    the easiest one for me is study groups.... and just talk to the people, and also dont answer questions in one word, answer full sentances and ask a follow up question,

    you: "oh yea thats awesome i love doing _______, dont you?,"
    them: _________whatever_________________________
    you: "oh yea... have you ever tried it in the ass"

    =good

    you: "oh yea thats awesome i love doing _______, "

    =bad

    thats all, just fake conversations, and put on a happy face, and see who you can get along with. thats what i do.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    homebot =/ ?
     
  5. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    ass =/ ?
     
  6. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Damn, dude... are you my twin or something?

    It seems like the only time I ever really got to know a group of people was a study group I had for one class during my first college semester. Even at that, they weren't the kind of people I wanted to hang out with aside from studying. They'd plan get-togethers or whatever, but I always dodged them because of what I knew they'd be doing (drugs/alcohol). It seems like that always happens to me. I get in with a crowd of people only to find out that they aren't very good as personalities go. It is almost like there are NO good people out there who don't party or do things I can't stand to be around.
     
  7. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    You just have to go out there and do stuff, and not worry about anything. If you're enjoying yourself doing the stuff you like, then other people with similar interests will want to hang out with you. Girls like guys who are doing their own thing. That sounds simple, but it's true.

    I would recommend partying, even if you don't like it. That's a great way to meet a ton of people who are social. You can just have a drink or two if you don't want to get drunk.
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You've never gotten drunk? :(
    Go!
     

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