SRS i need help with a very close friend

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by rudeboy3, Mar 3, 2006.

  1. rudeboy3

    rudeboy3 New Member

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    ok i am very good friends with a girl well actually shes prolly my best friend but her mom died a couple years ago in a car accident that she was also in. well i was talking to her on the phone today and i noticed somthing was wrong so i asked her and she said ive been thinking about my mom latley a lot. now what im wondering how can i respond to that.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Say the following to her.

    Imagine if you died instead of your mother, would you love to see those who where left behind in misery,depression and pain, grieving for many many years to come? Or would you want them to be happy and live their lives as they should? Of course you would want them to be happy, and your mother wants exactly the same for you, so instead of dying for your mother start LIVING for her. The love for your mother will always remain in your heart.

    You have to formulate it like that to her. In a way that she knows her mother is watching over her ,and that her happyness is her mothers happyness, and her sadness is her mothers sadness. With that she should be motivated to try to live for her mothers happyness.

    And that its ok to grieve, and that she should take all the time to heal, and show her that you are there for her whenever she needs you and that she wil never be left alone.
     
  3. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    Did you know your friend before the accident? Was she hurt in the accident? Did you know her mom?

    That's one of the most horrible things that could ever happen to anyone. :(

    Your friend has some degree of "survivor's guilt". She sometimes thinks "Why her, why not me, it could have been me." And that thought can turn into a circle. And there are no answers, it is an endless unanswerable question. She's not guilty of anything, but she could feel that she is.

    She might not want to admit, to you, that she has that kind of thought. You shouldn't bring it up, but try to be understanding if she does.

    That's on top of the severe loss of her mother.

    If she gets very depressed about it, she should seek some counseling to help her. There's nothing wrong with that or with her - she has been through a terrible life-changing loss. The grief process can take years, and shouldn't be rushed.

    There's no good way to "respond to" her, just be as supportive as you can to your friend. You can tell your friend that her mother is a part of her and is always with her, and would want her to be strong and have a happy life.
     
  4. rudeboy3

    rudeboy3 New Member

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    well me and her are only 15 so i think it is a little different than dealing with an adult. i should have said that originally. but no i never met her mom and thanks for the advice guys.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    From that point of view then, if your young just be there for her in anyway you can, and try to comfort her as i stated her, maby not everything in one plunge or exactly as i formulated it , but tell her something simular like i wrote , bit by bit.
     
  6. rudeboy3

    rudeboy3 New Member

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    ya thanks a lot it helps me a lot. but its not like shes like depressed all the time its just once in a while.
     
  7. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    it is cool that you care dude, but if you didn't meet her mother, do you really have anything to say to her??

    also, do you want to say something to her to open up future prospects?? :naughty:
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Just let her know that if she ever needs someone to talk to about it, that you will be there for her.
     
  9. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    exactly
     

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