SRS I need help v.family

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RyRy, Sep 15, 2009.

  1. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    First of all allthatshitbyme.gif and I apologize for this being all over the place I'm kinda out of it right now. Anyways to the thread!! I am enlisting you my online friends to help me with a family situation. My 52 year old aunt is mentally handicapped (think mentally retarded but I don't like using that word). My 79 year old grandmother (her mother) is the relative that I stay with and take care of as she has falling spells, knee replacement surgery earlier this year, heart problems and new diagnosis of hardening of the arteries and brain atrophy which from what I get makes her ever more forgetful. I do anything and everything that I can for my gramms anything from driving her to appointments, cleaning her house, doing laundry, putting her ear rings in, rubbing aspirin cream on her ass... you get the idea.

    Well my aunt (the mentally handicapped one) keeps screaming at us to stop babying her, she can do that herself, at the grocery store she started cussing my grandma out telling her that she had almost a gallon of milk at home and there was no reason to buy it, forcing my grandma to drive when she doesn't want or really need to be driving, etc. Same aunt has always babysat the kids I call mine and the ones I always talk about and post pics of, well their parents found out my aunt was spanking their kids and took them away. They had told my aunt multiple times "do not spank our children!" So now she's pissed off and is taking it out on the world, especially on me and her mother.

    Today I had to take gramms to see her ortho surgeon because she is wobbly and cannot walk, so of course aunt had to come along. Well at the restaurant I took my plate and grandma's plate and walked with grandma and her walker thru the buffet line. About 1/2 way thru the line my aunt comes along and starts yelling at me to stop babying her (gramms) and to make her do things her self. I tried nicely telling her in a low voice "it's fine grandma asked me to do this for her it's too hard to use a walker and not spill her food" well she just got louder and was stomping her feet and by this time everyone is looking in horror at a 52 year old woman throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old. Grandma even told her to go on because she wanted me to help her. Well that sent her off and she stomps/jumps up and down and gets all brissled and pissed and says "Go set down I will take care of her and give me this plate!" and tries to rip my plate and grandma's plate which I am putting food onto out of my hand. I finally told her in a stern voice "Aunt _ you are causing a huge scene and embarrassing us and especially yourself. You need to go set down, calm down and eat your own food." Well she starts talking in her own language that she has made up to yell at us and we won't know what she's saying (think like a church person talking in tongues in public, very loudly, stomping their feet and kicking and throwing a tantrum like a small child).Tonight after we got home she even started yelling "Well if she's this sick and frail and then we are going to have to throw her ass in the nursing home and you can go back to college and get on with your life!"

    I'm at my witts end... I know Gramms needs the help but at what point do I throw in the towel and give up. I basically don't work and consider taking care of Gramms a full time job that pays with rewards just not money. I have my own issues to deal with and this added stress makes my disorder flare up then I get upset, have an attack and don't want to be around anyone and just want to hole up in bed and not come out. It's like I was just starting to get stable and then this stuff flares up. Others have told me to pack up and move on but really there's nobody else who is helping me with grandma. Her other daughter lives in KC and has the same disorder I do and help when she can and she lets me call her and blow off steam, or run down there to get away for a few days a month. Her other daughter is the aunt I don't get along with and since grandma has quit going to her church she has nothing to do with grandma and keeps telling everyone that I'm causing the problems, that I'm stealing money, etc. Which I am not. I might not be rich but dammit I'm not poor, and I would never steal anything from anyone other then a kiss!
     

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