SRS I need help making a decision

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mopar03, Oct 21, 2005.

  1. Mopar03

    Mopar03 73-9 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 9, 2004
    Messages:
    90,560
    Likes Received:
    100
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    a little background....I'm 20 years old and am currently living at home with both my parents and my sister (17) going to a satellite campus of Purdue University.

    I have two more years after this one to finish my bachelors in business marketing. my parent's make decent money, but unfortunately for me they did not make any financial plans for my college education when I was young, which is why I'm stuck at this satellite campus instead of going to the main campus. I have been forced to take out student loans to cover tuition. I work part-time, but only to put a little extra cash in my pocket.

    here's the problem, in the past year or so, my sister has been hanging out with the wrong crowd and has got into drugs. lately, I've also noticed that some of my money is starting to go missing. my parents took her to a psychologist about 6 months ago....and after many thousands of dollars wasted, she is back to her old self again. she constantly lies to them, stays out doing who knows what, and can't even hold a part-time job (she also quit HS and got her GED). my parents won't take full responsibility and send her away to a boot camp or some place to straighten her out and it's clear taking her to a doctor did nothing.

    it's gotten to the point where I just can't stand living here at home anymore. I get along with my parents just fine, but the arguing and constantly quarrelling between her and parents/me is too much. lately I've been thinking of moving out. if I did, this would force me to quit school. my only other option is to wait until next fall, take out even more loans and move down to the main campus and room with a friend (which would ultimately put me about 40-50k in debt when I graduate). I honestly don't know what to do. I don't know how much longer I can stand living here with her. any input? :hs:
     
  2. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd advocate you moving out. That's a tough situation you're in...but moving out might give you enough distance so that you can concentrate on your education.

    Try not to drop out of your current semester if you can. I've seen this happen more then once with friends of mine, and with each passing day, it makes it more and more unlikely they'll ever return back to school.

    Talk to a school counselor about your plans to move out...see if they can offer you work on campus or scholarship opportunities to help foot the bill. Worse case scenario, perhaps temporarily transfer to a community college for a couple of semesters till you can get on your feet.

    You sister is young and reckless. Sometimes people just need to come to their own conclusions by making their own mistakes. I think the best way for you to help her is to be the solid one.... be the big brother who's got his act together and one day when she realizes her life is fucked up she'll see what you've done all on your own.
     
  3. Moistfly

    Moistfly Anal Bum Cover

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2001
    Messages:
    12,434
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Do everything you can to search out pell grants, scholarships etc... Try and get tax deferred loans. Eventually though just take on the debt, get through school as quickly as you can and move on.
     
  4. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    Yeah, I would also recommend moving out. You can share a rental with some strangers (never friends!) on a month-to-month lease for $300/mo or less. You'll be happier, be able to focus more on school, and do better, which is easily worth $300/mo or more.

    Best of luck!
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I advocate against going out of the house, unless main camp requires it. Don't let psycho bitch drag you into her black hole pit of misery and drugs, stand above her and show your a better person and let her dig her own grave.

    Your home will act as a safe harbour, do nothing against your parents rules, and don't argue with your sister remember.

    You cannot fight evil with evil because only evil will win. You can only fight evil with love. :love: therefore love your sister and whenever she argues just say to her you think she needs to go into rehab,psychiatrist, and tell her to aknowledge that she needs help.

    Taking the loans is a pain, but your study comes first foremost, when studying take a side job to start paying of the loan as soon as possible, see it as an investment in your future.
     
  6. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    finish college -- it's the only thing that will get you outta there. do whatever it takes.
     
  7. happyrobots

    happyrobots Ü

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,184
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Phx
    I agree with moistfly, look for grants, scholarships, etc...anything and everything to help you out.
    It's up to you whether to move out or not, you're in the situation and see it daily. I know how it feels, but loans are a bitch. If you have a good relationship with your parents, try to talk to them about getting her out of the house. Kicking her out possibly, but talk to them about since they have the final word. Tell them how it's frustrating and hard to concentrate on school work, and 'forcing' you to need/want to move out. See what they say, maybe they'll help you as well, or just say oh well.
     
  8. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2005
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm in agreement with finishing college. Also, if your parents don't send her to a boot camp like institution, it something you should do. JUST because you started noticing that your money was going missing. Boot camp environment is a very traumatic and psychologically changing environment. But it does get a lot of people to wake up and start to realize a lot of self respect, and squares them away in a hurry. I have a couple of friends who went to military school, and they are a LOT more squared away than I am.
     
  9. Mopar03

    Mopar03 73-9 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 9, 2004
    Messages:
    90,560
    Likes Received:
    100
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    thanks for all the input guys :hs:
     
  10. teo

    teo . => ? => !

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eh?
    There's always a way to make things work. I moved out at 17 and lived with my grandma for a year before moving out into my own (very very small) basement suite. I worked my butt off during the summers to keep afloat and went into a condensed two-year program to finish my diploma. In the end I made it out alive and a much better person for it.

    First, sit down and write out a budget. How much do you expect to spend on rent, utilities, food, clothing, entertainment, tuition, books and transportation? How much income, including loans, will you have to offset these costs? Will your parents be assisting you with any of these expenses? How can you cut unnecessary costs (eg. sell your car and take the bus)?

    Search for housing deals. By that I mean look for shared accomodation, not with your friends, or a bachelor suite. Very few college-age friends see eye to eye on things like rent, utilities and living arrangements. Start now - it may take you time to find a place that fits your needs and that you feel comfortable with, and listen to your instincts. Universities often have a housing department that will help you find off-campus accomodation at reasonable rates.
     

Share This Page