I need help in "pulling back" & not getting "too carried away"

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Meat0r, Feb 19, 2005.

  1. Meat0r

    Meat0r New Member

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    This could get worryingly long, so I'll try and keep it simple and to the point.

    I’ve been speaking to this girl for about a week ago and after like our second 'chat' we both fell absolutely head over heels for each other. She lives a few hundred miles away but we speak via MSN, text messages, on the telephone and we’ve exchanged pictures. We haven’t even met yet, so I know you’re all going to think I’m a sad act, but I need help here guys. She’s talking about coming to visit me so I really don’t think it’s some fairy tale internet relationship. I’m off college at the moment and this leaves me a lot of time to be thinking about her - and, basically, she's driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking about her, but to the point that I'm just sitting here waiting for her to finish work by watching the clock, and I can't even concentrate on my very important college work.

    It's weird because as long as I've spoken to her once in the day, I'm fine, but the time leading up to her finishing work I'm just clock-watching and when she isn't in work, I'm thinking silly things about why she hasn’t phoned, text me or come online.

    I'm assuming it's because this is probably my first "girlfriend" (I say girlfriend because she’s been adamant that she’d like me to call her it) and I'm not used to coping with such intense feelings towards someone....and I'm only 18. However, I really REALLY need to cool down and stop getting so carried away, because if this girl pulled back and lost interest for some reason, I'd get hurt to a degree I never thought was possible.

    I know this seems weird, but I need some advice off some people with more experience with love than I am. With regards to the “love” thing, she’s had much more experience than me (she's 20) and she says it’s love at her end so I can only assume that what I’m feeling right now is love……Whatever it is, it’s knocking me sideways.

    Thank you.
     
  2. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    you need to get your life straight first! school should come first and you do not want a relationship of any kind of affect it. I can understand this being your first relationship and all but you need to take a step back. You could be setting yourself up for a big dissapointment if things dont work out. Just tell her that you need to go slower because this is your first time. Long distance is very hard as well. I've been through long distance for 2 1/2 years would i do it again? probably not but she was worth it at the time.
     
  3. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    Don't put too much into it yet man. I've had that before too... and everything can change when you meet face to face.
     
  4. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    You need to focus on yourself. I know that when I'd get too involved with someone else, it was more about me than it was about them. Because I wanted a relationship with someone I loved, I'd try to fit girls that I'd meet into that mold, even if it wasn't the right person.

    Step back, look at yourself in the situation that you're in (which it sounds like you are trying to do already). If you take care of your own self-interest, everything else takes care of itself. Apply yourself in school, exercise, and in your social life, and before you know it, you'll have other people in the situation that you are in now. Then, you can find the person who is as comfortable with themself as you are with yourself, and you can finally realize a genuine opportunity for a real relationship.

    In the short term, I know it's hard to concentrate on anything other than her, so I'd go find some friends to hang out with to take your mind off of it. Talk to her tomorrow and not today, and pretty soon, things will become more normal.
     
  5. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    yeah dude. dont get too carried away. u havent even met this girl in person yet
     
  6. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

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    cliffs!!
     

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