SRS I need help.. I have no backbone..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RX8Shinka, Jul 14, 2006.

  1. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    Please bear with me...

    I am a 27 year old female and this is my first "real job." I have worked as a manager for this sports company for over a year now. I have enjoyed my job for the most part but it is not what I have gone to school for (Psych.) nor do I have long term plans to continue this in the future.

    At this job we got both a new CEO and a CMO (Cheif Marketing Officer) who are "cleaning house." Out of 30 people that have worked for us, only 9 or maybe less remain. Our Operations Manager and Public Relations Manager (my boss) both quit today or perhaps, they were fired... I don't know. But both were very dedicated, hardworking individuals who gave our company their very best. I am in utter shock.

    Since I have heard this, I am begining to question my own job. One particular incident stands out: The CEO confronted me, rather intimidated me in May asking "What exactly do you do here?" I thought I explained myself rather well but apparently not, since she asked me the samething again in an email today... requesting a meeting. I know it's basically an interview for my own job which would be fine but I get intimidated easily and it shows!

    I want to quit. I would feel much more comfortable with that than getting fired. I know it's coming. They don't understand what I do. It's certainly not what I want to continue in the future. Please help me!
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You've tacitly asked for permission to quit several times in your post.
    So here it is. Go ahead and quit.

    If wherever you live has some form of unemployment insurance or whatever, and it's more advantageous to you (financially) to let them fire you, then feel free to do that, while you begin to look for other work ... which you do IMMEDIATELY and without telling them.

    Then when you have secured other employment, that should take the pressure off you.

    You then have the luxury of sitting back, and enjoying the spectacle of these doofuses scurry about making this change and that change.

    Enjoy seeing the CEO imperiously wield his newfound power, bringing people in for "meetings" to justify their employment. Explanation is one thing, power-tripping is quite another. Realize that even as he wields his little stick, he ultimately is quite impotent.



    So, cover yourself with alternate employment ASAP.

    Then, put that psych degree (your x-ray specs) to use and revel in your final days there and see these guys for the turds they really are.

    Have fun!
     
  3. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I don't have another job lined up yet but I just completed an internship which gave me an outstanding letter of recomendation. I am giving this job my two weeks notice tomorrow via email followed by a formal letter via postal mail. Is that okay? I have money saved on the side so I am in relatively good terms finanically until I find another job.
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Yes do it. Happiest decision you'll make.

    I was in a similar situation a year ago where I saw coworkers in the company get their heads on the chopping block...one at a time. I was in a relatively safe place because of my seniority there but by that time the morale was low and I just didn't want to be there. So I handed in my notice volunteering to hand over my spot so that others could keep their jobs... it felt good and I'm in a better place now because of it.

    Eventually all the coworkers I was trying to "save" lost their jobs anyway, but at least they got to stick around a few months longer.

    Start brushing up your resume and looking for better opportunities. You can do it.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I still think you need to find another job asap, regardless of your present financial situation (except if you were already independently wealthy. But then you wouldn't be asking)

    Doing so does a few things:
    1) emergency money is just that, everyone has a different comfort level, but I prefer not to dip into emergency funds except in an actual emergency

    2) it allows you to focus some of that nervous energy in a useful direction (i.e. instead of worrying) but going through the process of finding new work.

    Part of your anxiety of the unknown is ...what am I going to do? I hate this job, it doesn't fulfill me, it's not what I went to school for. So until you actively look into the alternatives, those nagging questions will continue to haunt you. So start looking.



    If you've already decided on giving notice, that's fine too. The part about enjoying these turds go through that charade, thinking they can make you jump thru hoops to keep your precious job, when in reality, you've actually got the jump on them...that is merely side entertainment.

    I would still pressure them to give you a good letter of recommendation -- the fact they are restructuring is irrelevant, so don't accept any bs from them. If you've done a good job, you deserve an excellent letter.

    Onwards and upwards, kiss these guys goodbye

    good luck in your search. Check back here and let us know how it goes.
    You'll be fine.
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    And ps. for someone who describes themselves as having "no backbone" you've certainly got most of this figured out already. I think you'll be just fine.
     
  7. gsxec

    gsxec New Member

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    slam the door on your way out
     
  8. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I imagine it will be difficut to get a letter of recomendation since my boss quit and so did our Operations Manager. This new CEO doesn't even have a clue as to what my job entails, so how can I expect her to write a letter? She was completely aloof to me being there...
     
  9. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Do you still have contact with your old bosses or managers? They can still write you a reference letter as your former leaders.
     
  10. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    I think quitting was a good decision for you :)
     
  11. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I handed in my letter of resignation this morning. A few hours later, I received a call from the CEO wanting to clear things up. She explained to me that I am a great employee and everyone has nothing but good things to say about me. She only wanted to meet with me to discuss how we can change my job to make it a bit more easier on me and more efficient. She begged me to reconsider and I told her I would return. I am meeting with her Monday afternoon to discuss my job and what improvements can be made. If she puts more work on my shoulders, I will get up and leave... no if and's or but's about it.. Can I do this? Or should I say I changed my mind (again) and leave for good? I don't know why I have so much difficulty making decisions such as this. I love the place I work (sports complex) and would love to return for future events. I don't want any hard feelings. But I don't want to be miserable either.

    :(
     
  12. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Well, if your employer is giving you the opportunity to be up front and frank with her, then take this opportunity to be honest about what may be making you miserable about your situation. Let your employer suggest solutions to this, but don't make any snap decisions about it.

    Let them know that you'd like to take some time to think about the proposed solutions before you make your final decision to stay or to go.

    If your boss earnestly wants you to stay and is willing to work with you to improve your situation, then it's a win-win for both of you.
     
  13. New Fish

    New Fish OT Supporter

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    I've worked for multi billion dollar companies in the past. I'm glad I have because what I learned from working for them is priceless. Here are a few things I've learned.

    1-If you do your job well, you will always have the upper hand. Whether it be pay or work days.
    2-Don't let these big companies intimidate you. If you are competant enough to work for this big company there will also be similar large or even larger companies that won't mind having you on their side.
    3-If you are good at what you do, they will beg you to stay and will offer you your job back if you ever wanted to return. That's if you leave on good terms.
     
  14. johan

    johan Active Member

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    In my experience, exit interviews are not a great time to detail what you feel is wrong with the company. So when is the right time? When you win the lottery, that's when. I don't know about your industry, but when you start moving up in the world, industry becomes a SMALL place. What goes around comes around.

    I'm not saying to not speak your mind. I'm saying always be professional.

    As for whether you should go back? Why do want to do that exactly?
    The only thing that's changed is that the ceo kissed your ass slightly, gave you some lip service and made you feel wanted. Was that experience so mindblowing that it would outweigh all the other factors you mentioned before?

    I thought you'd said that this job was unfulfilling and not what you wanted to do in life.

    So why would a few words change that? The job is still the same. Isn't it.
     
  15. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    "So why would a few words change that?"
    Well it was a fairly lengthy conversation in which she explained herself and her goals. I have a better understanding now of what is going on. I will learn more at the meeting on Monday. As I said earlier I am prepared to leave.


    "I thought you said that this job was unfulfilling and not what you wanted to do in life."
    I have my moments where I question just why I am there. I admit I do it mostly for the extra cash it gives me but also because, I didn't have a whole lot of friends growing up. Once I began attending events, I began meeting people and making tons of friends of which helped me get the job in the first place. My nickname at work is "Smiley" because even on the worst day, people can always count on me to make them smile. I took this job because I had a passion for the sport and wanted to become involved (kinda like a teenager wanting to work at the Gap for fashion experience-- lame I know!!). No, this is not what I want to be going 10 years or even 2 years down the road but I do respect this company. I want to see them succeed. I would like the return for events-- I swear it's a great place... it's just run by some shady people..
     
  16. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Ok, I can see you've thought about this.
    It seems to be that the reasons you've listed for staying are most personal and social, rather than professional.

    Now, everyone has their own timetable as to when they want career milestones to start happening, but let me just suggest that work should be about work. I'm not saying that work can't be fun, or that work can't be peopled with terrific, fun, enthusiastic friends.

    But above all, work is still work. I think you should just be clear on that, and not let work and work friends substitute for a genuine, hardy, self-sustaining social network. Which may contain a few people you originally met at work...

    After all, what's going to happen when you leave, or...when THEY leave to pursue other career opportunties?




    Please tell me your main social outlet and source of afterwork fun...doesn't consist solely of work grouped hangouts, and work functions? That's fine, but try and build yourself a wider, more resilient social structure.

    I would hate to see you stagnate in your career, just because you don't have any other friends, and you're concerned about losing the work-friends.

    See...if they truly are your friends, REAL FRIENDS....you'll still have frequent and regular contact with them when you move to another job.

    And if you're afraid you'll lose their friendship once you no longer have the shared work context to bind you together...come on, you know as well as I do what that says about your 'friendship'. Right?




    Look after yourself. Properly. That means developing real friends. That also means taking care of your career.

    Don't accept a pale substitute for either. No one should.
     
  17. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    You are right. I am or should I say -- have stayed at this company because of the people I work with. We work as a team and we help each other. I do have friends but I do not socialize with them during my shift. Most of these people have left..I can only think of 2 that are still there as workers. I should develop a broader base for friends though. Funny, in college I am so quiet but put me in a different enviornment and I open right up. Maybe it was the insecurities I felt in college..

    Anyway, the more I think about this... the better of a career move it seems to leave. I should have never retracted my resignation. I cower in the face of authority which is pathetic. I think at this time, it would be wise for me to attend the meeting on Monday and display my thoughts and opinions. If they do not agree, I will terminate my employment right then and there. I can do that without looking badly for future employers, correct?
     
  18. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    Whoops... Sorry, I signed in with my sisters email account! I swear it's still me!!!!
     
  19. New Fish

    New Fish OT Supporter

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    Fuck, you confused me there for a moment.
     
  20. New Fish

    New Fish OT Supporter

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    And no, if you want to quit after the meeting you should still put in your two weeks so they can find a replacement. Unless they want to let you go right then and there.
     

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