SRS I need help but I don't know how

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FollowTheReaper, Jun 14, 2005.

  1. I've got so many things but I don't know how to stop it all. It all seems to be taking me over.

    I'm an anorexic, depressive, alcoholic junkie. My mum (despite hardly speaking to me after rejecting my sexuality) wants me to get committed. I've overdose four times since I was 16, attempted suicide twice and been to countless therapy sessions and rehab centres. I don't know what to do any more, I've been told they are all linked but I can't stop any of it...no matter what I do. Doctors have even given up on me. Does anyone have any suggestions that I may not have tried? I feel like giving up
     
  2. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    Wow, that's quite a list of problems, I really don't know where to start.

    Have you ever been happy? Just realize that it is possible, because there are lots of people who are. If you kill yourself now, then you'll never accomplish that. Obviously you don't really like yourself, which is why you do all those things. You use drugs and alcohol to try and make yourself feel better, when in reality they just stop you from being able to address the real problems.

    I don't know how much I can help, but feel free to post more about how you got into this situation.
     
  3. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    you shouldn't look at all the problems at once because it is quite an overwhelming list. take baby steps and one step at a time. the one thing you can do is start eating. being underweight and malnurished effects your mood. so start with that. get that under control and then kick the alcohol. and so on....
     
  4. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    Exactly. You didn't get into this mess overnight, and you're not going to fix it overnight. It may seem like a long road, but many other people have done it, and so can you. Besides, people look better when they're at a healthy weight.
     
  5. I have been happy but thats when something has made me forget my problems, be it a guy or drugs and alcohol. I don't remember being happy before all this...what it's really like to be happy.

    I don't remember how I got into this situation any more, I don't think I cared very much about what I was doing to myself and didn't think about the consequenses. The anorexia came first, followed closely by depression. I started to use drugs and alcohol to counter-act those feelings like you said.
     
  6. Starting eating is harder than it sounds, even looking at food most of the time makes me feel sick. And when I do eat I feel so guilty. But you're right, i do need to do one at a time. I tried cold turkey a few times and that just made me really ill.
     
  7. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    If you're only happy when you're doing something to forget your problems, then you're not truly happy. I think you realize that already.

    Yes, you do need to do things one at a time. Like for the anorexia, just concentrate on eating a little more each day. Being anorexic isn't healthy. And that's what you want to be: healthy. There's no reason to feel guilty, and you control how you feel.

    As far as drugs and alcohol, for those you may need professional treatment. I know you said something about it already, but a lot of the time people don't stay off drugs and alcohol unless they have that.

    Can you post a little about your relationship with your parents? You mentioned it already, in your first post, and that always is a big clue into finding out why you do this stuff and how to fix it.

    And also, I just wanna say that even though I don't know you, and you're just some random person on the internet, I care about what happens to you, and I want you to get better.
     
  8. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    Honestly, we can console you here and discuss your problems with you, but what you are describing does require professional assistance. We are all more than willing to listen, but I think the best advice you can receive here is to seek's professional advice. Maybe being committed as you say is what might be required to get your life in order. People do have lives after being in an in-patient program. The programs are designed for people like yourself who have a number of problems that affect their daily lives in the negative. In fact, with what you say about your mom basically rejecting you for who you are, getting out of that environment would probably do you well.

    Have you ever been in a treatment program before?
     
  9. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    like someone else said, take baby steps and isolate the problems. one of your conditions can influence the others. Have you been on any kind of combined behavior therapy and medication treatment? Perhaps you are not taking the right medication or perhaps should try going without medication? Sometimes people will be put on pills that can aggravate a problem or not have effects. Second opinions in the case of medication is important , if you are finding it doesn't work for you

    I would remove yourself from people who enable you in the drugs and alcohol for starters. Having a fresh start often means seperating yourself from friends who won't call you on something you are doing wrong. Good luck to you. I know you have a slew of problems, but the fact that you want to get help is half the battle. :)

    What things in your life are good , out of curiosity?
     
  10. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    yeah, i dont exactly know the psychological side of anorexia, but i can imagine that will take a while to change your whole perception of food. however, i know for certain that you can overcome all of your problems if you just work at it.
     
  11. I think I probably should try profession help again.

    The relationship with my parents is pretty poor. Ever since I came out to them they have pretty much disowned me, especially my dad. My mum has tried to reconcile but I have not let her. My anorexia start around the same time (aged 14). We don't have a very good relationship
     
  12. True I guess...but I am not going to an asylum. Definitly not

    I have been several times, for all my problems. When I was in narcotics programs I don't think I was too....ready? I didn't put my whole self into them...I find it very hard to
     
  13. Just to enjoy myself and take my music as far as possible.


    I don't like the idea of drugs to try and help me through...I'm already on enough.

    I've been prescribed Bupropion (which I am on now) and several others in the past but nothing seems to work.

    Good things in my life: my friends, music, my guitar, singing, music, music and music
     
  14. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I think the root of your problem lies with your homosexuality. You where never 'accepted' even stronger your parents rejected you, and this has caused your depression, which then again was countered with alcohol/guys/drugs.

    Your fear of rejection and in practical terms not being accepted by society has given you feelings of suicidal tendencies, and your anorexia was a attempt to let your body 'fit in' into society.

    Let it be known that you are 'loved' unconditionaly by God. And to start out with rooting out your problems, you have first to accept and LOVE yourself for who you are.

    The Cycle Of The Soul

    http://home.quicknet.nl/qn/prive/kes/cycle.pdf

    This book will explain to you that , no matter how deep a soul has fallen, there is always a way out.

    To comfort you, gay sexual People with Near-Death experiences have always been fully accepted by God. If the partner really loved the person and it wasn't solemnly for lustfull intention then it was seen as an act of love, which is holy.

    The reason that some people experience feelings for simular sexe is completely natural, and is to be found back as a transition reincarnation stage from Female to male, and male to female, this because god want us to experience the female giving birth cycle, and the male creating aspects, when a female soul enters the male body , it will still have feelings for male subjects, and vice versa. So even for Lesbian/gay people God has a plan, and everyone will have to experience it. So if that can give you any relieve that you are more then normal, i hope it did.

    With this acceptance, you can then start balancing your life out. Start living a constructive life-style with no matter what you do. Most important be a loving person who helps other people out.It has been shown that Love is supreme, and a road to recovery should follow. The book Cycle of the Soul has saved me from comitting suicide, and i hope it may do also the same for you. It must be said that the peeps from the road to recovery are more then willing and more appropriatly situated in towards helping you solve your drugs/alcohol problems. And last and most important advice, happyness, comes from loving and helping others. Get rid of every possible shit that you have in house. God wants you to put order in chaos, that's a spiritual law, and more-over your life could use a drastic clean up, and when clean stay clean which is hard. Start looking at your future, and make plans. People in their own minds Create their own hell or heaven, it is up to you to change your mindset into that of a loving and helping person who creates his own heaven, by building things up instead of destroying them.

    Hope that helps.
     
  15. Thank you for the comments but do not start on that 'god loves you' stuff. Sorry, but I am extremely anti religion. Plus I have no problem with not being accepted, I rather like it. I like being a loner from people who I probably wouldn't like anyway.
     
  16. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You must find some re-consilation with your Dad. The whole thing of you not being accepted by your dad has caused you more damage then you are maby willing to admit. On a side-note , how did you became so anti-religious. That usually goes back to bad experiences, which i am curious about.

    Usually i'd go along with a comment that you should stand on your own feet, but not being accepted by people who are as close as your own parents :sad2:, i do have the hunch your mother still accepts you tho.
     
  17. I've never been close to my parents and it's never really bothered me

    I just read a lot and decided that I really dislike religion. Soon after, many Christians started to have a go at me for the way I dress, the music I like and again, sexuality. That kind of depended my dislike.
     
  18. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I've read your dislikement, and im not going to push you any further. Still (if you are not in dismay and feel like) i would like to show you another flip side of a God that does accept you for how you dress, the music you like and your sexuality.

    If you like with reading this Near death experience http://www.near-death.com/dale.html

    You may or may not like/dislike still only posted to comfort you.

    What lies to the root of your problems, that's the question what you should ask. Drugs/Alcohol/ have never led to long term happyness, nor have given you a great
    position in life.

    My advice is this. Imagine yourself as a CASTLE, the drawbridge is used to only let positive things in and out, when someone brings in a plague (alcohol/drugs) the whole castle with people will get diseased. So the bridge should be closed against things that bring misery (alchohol/drugs) or other negative things that ruin your life, and should be open to positive things. If you only let building blocks and other positive things in, you can strenghten your walls, and improve things within the castle. The castle walls defend you against all negative things, and its important to stand strong in life. Instead of a pint, go tennis, instead of using dope, start reading a book. Consistently replace all the bad destructive things in your life , with positive things that build up your life.
     
  19. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    Drug addicts who become really religious are really just shifting their addiction from drugs to God.

    I'm guessing your parents were really religious and tried to force it on you, so now you've gone the opposite way? Also, were you ever abused in any way?
     
  20. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Then focus on your music. It helped me get though my angst years as well.

    But here's a strong suggestion, try tackling your alcoholic dependancies as best you can, be that with professional help or with your own inner strength.

    I was just talking to a friend (my bandmate; drummer) yesterday who happens to be a middle child. Both of his brothers were alchoholics...one has Schizophrenia, the other hasn't held a solid job ever. Both still live at home with parents, the older one 35 years old. I asked my friend, "So how did you end up being the only responsible one in your family?"

    He responded by saying it was the day he realized that both the drugs and alcohol brought on more pain then pleasure. He gave it up cold turkey unlike both of his brothers. And like someone else had suggested above, he removed himself from the environment that brought on more of those self-abusive behaviors.

    That's not going to be easy. If you're into music, you'll be mixing with different people and playing at clubs where temptation exists. But you CAN resist if you want to.... just focus your drive and energy on your music. Make that your priority & your means of release.

    EDIT: Typo
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2005
  21. Thats right

    No, my parents aren't religious. They don't care one way or another. I wasn't abused either.
     
  22. Music is the only reason I'm still alive. You're right, I'm going to have to be strong, maybe I should mix with some of the straight-edge bands a bit more! It is hard in this business, especially the metal scene.
     

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