I need examples of resignation letters, or in the very least advice.

Discussion in 'OT Technology' started by Scoob_13, Jul 12, 2003.

  1. Scoob_13

    Scoob_13 Anything is possible, but the odds are astronomica

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    Preferably professional ones, and hopefully some that have been used in a manner that allow amiable relations to remain in place.

    Anyone have any hints at how to *not* piss them off, other than not writing "Dear work, fuck off, love, me." ? :)
     
  2. GotVtec

    GotVtec 8th World Wonder

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    This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to his boss. His boss apparently resigned very soon afterwards!


    Dear Mr. Baker,
    As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.


    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.


    Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.



    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a

    glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator.

    Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

    Sincerely



    Ercan Özçelik
    Unix Administrator
    The Wellcome Trust
    210 Euston Road
    London NW1 2BE
     
  3. Scoob_13

    Scoob_13 Anything is possible, but the odds are astronomica

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    While that's close to what I'm looking for, it doesn't keep me on amiable terms :hs:

    My life sucks right now :( I hate having to make a choice between a place that I have friends at yet am treated like a peon so that others may take credit for my work by my manager, yet am treated like a person by other managers and yet cannot transfer out due to a rule that says "the only way out of this department is with a pink slip or a resignation" (literally :hs: ), and a place where my former manager is literally handing me a job for more money, different (not exactly better, but doable) hours, and I get to do everything I love (problem solve/help desk/programming/etc.) and none of what I hate (loan document processing) :ugh: )

    Seriously, who in their right mind makes a guy do loan documents, when that very same guy can write a program to create the documents? It's like hiring Shakespeare to write a fucking Tootsie Roll commercial :uh:
     

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