I need advice on beginning a relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by critter783, Sep 8, 2005.

  1. critter783

    critter783 OT Supporter

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    So I finally met a girl that I feel like I have a lot in common with (we're both CSC majors, etc, etc), and we've gone out to dinner and movies about 7 or 8 times. Some of those times, I've asked her to go, and sometimes she's asked me. This is also the first girl I've ever been out with more than once. I usually get a nice big hug at the end of the night, but other than that, I've really had no inclination that we're moving past dinner together or seeing a movie together. How can I find out if she's interested in being more than friends? One friend of mine suggested that I ask her where we're going with this, and to tell her that if she just wants to be friends, that's cool, but that I'd like us to be more serious than just friends.

    What do y'all think?
     
  2. DarthKoRn

    DarthKoRn New Member

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    If she dosent mind you sticking it up her butt, then she wants to be more then friends. So when shes not looking, stick it up there hard. See what she does.
     
  3. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    just ask her..."hey, so would you like to go out go out with me?"
    if she just wants to be friends, theres not much you can do about it. time will tell.
     
  4. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    noooo.
    "So all my friends have been asking if you're my girlfriend and uhm I would say yes but is that alright with you?"...

    Or something like that I dunno :hsd:, try and pump on a first kiss and that'll set it in stone too.
     
  5. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    that would work. basically, just put it out there. if she likes you, doesnt matter how dumb you come across....and if she doesnt like you, even the sauvest of moves wont get you in.
     
  6. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    what do u mean you want to know if she wants to be more than friends? You've gonne on 8 dates so Im assuming the awkard 1st kiss and getting past first base is out of the way. Right?
     
  7. critter783

    critter783 OT Supporter

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    No, actually, its not yet. I don't know, I just don't have any confidence around women.
     
  8. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Oh snap!! Thats a tought one. 8 dates are A LOT of freaking dates to go on with you making a move. This are my two guesess.


    1) She has gone out on 8 dates with you and its still waiting for you to make a move because she really really likes you.

    2) She actually only went on two dates with you. After you didnt make a move, she put you in the friend zone and has looked at the last 6 "dates" as just two friends hanging out.



    Dude , you need to fix this ASAP before its too late (if it isnt already). Talk to her right now!! Call her and tell her how you feel and take it from there.
     
  9. JaxFlJon

    JaxFlJon Guest


    You better kiss that chick, and get things moving or its gonna be too late.
     
  10. critter783

    critter783 OT Supporter

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    I've been thinking that the case may be that she thinks I'm not interested in more than friendship because of my lack of initiative, so I think you guys are right. I should just go for it and see what happens. I guess the worst she can do is say no, right? I should get a chance to talk to her tomorrow, because we usually have a cigarette together before our class, so I'll talk to her then, see if she wants to go out this weekend, and then man up if we go out.
     
  11. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Word of advise. Tell her AFTER the class just in case she says no. Its gonna be very awckard to sit in the same room with her for a whole class just a few minutes after being turned down.And dont wait until this weekend. Kiss her tomorrow. Tell her you guys need to talk. Go somewhere with some privacy. Stand in front of her (Dont slouch, dont fidget, MAKE eye contact). And tell her how you feel. Do not ramble on and on tho.

    Dont be like, Well, I tought u were cute when I first met you. And we have gone out a few times. So I was thinking that..............:mb:

    Keep it short and to the point. "Violate" her personal space so ur within reach of a kiss with out having to take a step forward. Grab her hand. And then as you look her in the eyes very softly caress the side of her face and tell her.
    " I've liked you since I 1st met you". Wait a 2 seconds and go in for the kill.

    The reason being is a lot of girls prefer the guy be the agressive one. Also, if you straight up ask her. She may say no because she is not sure or she is nervous. The good thing about doing it like I described above. Is that in essence you are asking her with out actually forcing her to say yes or no. Any girl worth their salt will be able to tell that as the actions above described unfold, you are getting ready to kiss her. When you get closer, grab her hand, touch her face and wait 2 seconds. Those are all opportunities for her to stop you if she does not like you. She can step back, not grab ur hand or move her face away when u touch her. Also by keeping it short. You dimish your chances of her realizing you yourself are a nervous wreck. Good luk and give us an update.
     
  12. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

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    listen to him
     
  13. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    ok, if she's initiating dates as well as you it's definitely a good thing and there's mutual interest. But are these dates really flirty? i.e hand holding, getting close during movies, touchiness, etc. How old are you guys?

    If you're not confident try to fake it, that's a huge turn on for girls :hs:

    You're obviously trying to stay away from being just friends so be really flirty with her. Don't be clingy but make it obvious that you like her. say "Wow <insert girls name>, you have ridiculously pretty eyes." or something along those lines... works like a charm ;)

    For the first kiss... there really isn't much to it, just go for it... spontaneous guys are a turn on too... good luck


    EDIT: Yea your friend is right, you should try to talk to her too... Just "Where is this going?" "What do you want out of this?" shit like that's fine
     
  14. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    So WTF happened??
     
  15. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    Do you guys ever hold hands or anything? That would be a first attempt to see how she reacts...

    Don't sweat it hun... it was like 6 dates before my husband kissed or even so much as held my hand. I thought it was kind of cute actually but I was starting to get irritated. I almost gave up and thought he just wanted to be friends. I liked him a lot and was willing to still hang out with him even if it meant being friends. Eventually we just started hanging out in his room and would spend hours just talking. Valentines day...we finally kissed. We were just laying there talking and he finally made a move. He brushed the side of my cheek and our faces came closer together and we just kind of rubbed cheeks and noses for what seemed like forever and finally it happened. ... slowly but it was great :)

    Another more creative option...

    Take her somewhere to the park or to somewhere with a pond or something when it gets dark and just walk around. Eventually find somewhere where you can just sit or lay NEXT to eachother and talk. NOT face to face but just next to eachother... Eventually pull a roll of breathsavers out of your pocket, look at her and say "so...would you like to see if we can make a spark?". Make sure you look serious or she'll think it's a joke. .... It works! :)
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2005
  16. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Maybe im just mind numb after a 12hr day. But I dont get it:hs:
     
  17. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    You've never seen those commericals!? I thought everyone has seen them.

    They pop them in their mouths and turn out the lights or somehow the light breaks or goes out and the mints supposedly make green sparks when you make out?? When the light comes on you see them making out. I dunno. I thought it was cute when I heard that line though. Like he put some thought into it.
     
  18. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :hsugh: You know what that is:

    [​IMG]

    CORNY.
     
  19. critter783

    critter783 OT Supporter

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    Well, I talked to her after class today, and told her that I was interested in being more than friends. She said she just wanted to be friends, because she didn't have time in her life for more than friends. I think she was just trying to let me down easy, but I'm not really sure (she is taking 12 hours of master's level csc this semester).

    This was quite possibly the worst day of my life.
     
  20. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

    Hey I seriously won't deny that at all! But sometimes... corny can work. ;) I gave it an E for effort ....it was cute.
     
  21. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    :wtc: I'm sorry critter... always sucks when that happens. It does sound like she has a lot on her plate. Some girls don't like distractions while they are at school because really tends to hurt the grades. Don't take it too hard. It may not have anything to do with you.
     
  22. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    It happens. Dont let it get to you. Its impossible to win them all. Just aim for a good average. A few comments;

    If she did go on a date with you. She probably did like you. Chances are you were just not confident enough to close the deal soon enough and she moved you to the friend zone. Dont be her friend in hopes of one day scoring. Dont call her or hang out with her until you are over her. Then and only then you may be able to be friends.

    Dont worry, I used to be like that (and can be sometimes if the girl is just smoking hot I'll lose some confidence). You will grow out of it (kkep in mind that to an extent that nervouness will always be there, just to a lesser degree) . Here are a few pointers that helped me out.

    1) Her saying no its not the end of the world. She was not the 1st nore will she be the last one to say no. Its like hangovers, they will happened and you cant stop that. You can only control how you deal with them.


    2) Inmidiatly ask more girls out. Preferably if they are fat, ugly, nerdy, whatever. Not to be mean, but they get asked out less often and are more likely to say yes. On every single date try to seal the deal with that 1st kiss. Even if you dont like the girl. Just like everything else. Work your way up. Think of it as math. No one started with calc. You learn how to fucking add and substract and work your way up. Dating girls that are "easy" to aproach will do wonders for your confidence and it will help you smooth out your game. Since you really dont like them that much, the preassure isnt there like it is with someone you really like.

    3) Keep reminding your self while on a date. That they went out with you BECAUSE THEY ALREADY LIKE YOU!!! If they didnt like you, they would have said no. Just like sales, assume the closing. Always assume the closing no matter what.


    4) VODKA!! Its like the steroids of 1st dates when you are still new at the dating game. I used to take two shots before metting the girl and kept two shooter bottles to drink every two hrs or so. It will calm your nerves and give you that little edge that you seem to be missing. Once you realize how easy this whole thing really is. You wont need Mr Vodka to chapperon your date.

    NOTE; I chose Vodka because its the easist of hard alcohols to disguise with breath mints that YOU MUST BRING WITH YOU if you are gonna take Vodka.



    5) Make your self a weekly girl goal agenda and keep track of it.

    Tell your self you are going to say hi to one random girl )school, work, super market, ANYWHERE) every day.
    Tell your self you are going to hold a conversation (even if its really short like asking how to get to a class or something) with one of those girls that you say hi to atleast once every other day.
    Tell your self you are going to ask out one of the girls you said hi to atleast once a week.

    Every week you meet your goal. Reward yourself with something you like but not normally do. Buy a hat, a new CD, smoke a joint, whatever the fuck you are into.


    6) when talking/going on a date with someone. Remember they are just as nervous as you. So if you do make an ass out of your self, its ok. They will still be nice to you. Because they hope that if they were to make an ass out of themselves, you will also still be nice to them.


    Good luck:)
     
  23. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

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    i think you have moved into the friend zone....get out fast
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I don't like any of the responses I'm seeing her. Build some sexual tension, eye contact etc., lean over and kiss her. She will reciprocate. Nothing is worse than asking permission before doing something, really fucks up the mood if you can't surprise her a little bit.
     
  25. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    All I have to say is this...

    I am in grad school going for my masters in CSC...I have seen it many times through my undergrad studies...male and female CSC students just dont work good together. To much analytical thinking going on in one room :rofl:

    But hey, good luck.
     

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