SRS I need advice about a girl please..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by lastrain13, Feb 6, 2006.

  1. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    I'm not sure how to make my story any shorter so please bear with me and try to read it..

    Basically, I have been working in this pet store for about 3 years and I'm 17 years old. Over the summer we hired a new girl who is 16 and we quickly became friends. We would hang out pretty much once a week outside of work since we don't go to the same school. We would also stay up late tlaking on the phone all the time also.

    We went to see two movies together as friends and on the second one, after the movie we hung out in the parking lot for an hour just talking. Then I drove her home and we talked in my car about really personal things. Then I was invited inside her house (which I have been in before) and we watched tv. Then she followed me out to my car and we talked again. Earlier she took my keys because I have a thing on it which is fun to play with and wouldn't give them back. We would play this game where we tell each other to tell you something and we would usually give stupid answers. Like if I said tell me something, she would say I have 5 eyes or something dumb.

    But she kept asking me to tell her something so I just blurted it out and said I liked her. Then we kissed. (which was my first kiss). From then on we went out for 3 months and fell in love. Although right around chrismas she started acting strange. She said she couldn't go out for our 3 month aniversity because she had to go somewhere with her mom, and later on she always had a reason why we couldn't hang out.

    I just let them pass untill one day I asked if she still likes me (via text message) and she said she still loves me but she can't have a boyfriend right now cause she is having emotional problems. Once a day she gets a panic attack or something and cant control her emotions. Her mom said she needs to get help.

    It didn't occur to me that she wanted to break up untill a week later when I asked her to come over and she said she can't. And she just needs me to be a friend.

    We don't work in the same store anymore because she got transfered to another pet store. A couple days later after we broke up she wasn't responding to any of my text messages. All my friends (girls and guys) told me to give her space.

    I let three weeks go by and I was very depressed. Everyone was telling me I need to get over her and move on. And that we would never be together again..

    A couple days ago I sent her a message online asking how she is doing and told her I am there for her. She said she values my friendship and doesn't want to lose that. But said nothing about us being together.

    I have been trying really hard not to think about her and to move on but I can't. She was my first girlfriend and as hard as I try I can't stop loving her. Right now we are just friends, but I still don't understand what happened and don't know what to do. We rarely see each other right now too cause we sork in different stores and go to different schools.

    Does anyone have any advice or know what might have happened between us? When she broke up with me she said I was the best boyfriend that she ever had so I really don't understand why we can't be together.

    I feel bad giving up on our love, but my friend (who is a girl) said its the best thing to do.

    Please help
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2006
  2. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    we'll bro, I'm sure your going to get shit for this, but you are really looking at too many little things of this IMO. I've been with my lady for 9 months and I used to do what you did. Look at every little detail. I would over-analize EVERY GOD DAMN DETAIL. You need to step back more when looking at this stuff.

    As to what went wrong with her? It looks like you might've done something wrong yourself. Ususally when people say they can't be with someone and use their own reason thats BS. They just say that to make you feel better. A couple would work together to get through problems. Like the saying goes your only as strong as your weakest link. If the weakest link just quits when in trouble, then the relationship doesnt have much of a bond.

    If I was you I'd just move on. You are very young and so am I. There is SOOOOOOOOO Much more to life you should be working on than a gf. If you can manage to try to fit it in great, but otherwise focus on your studies and what not.

    Dont put the pussy on a pedistal.
     
  3. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Dead serious.. save yourself the emotional hardache and completely stop talking to her.. I'm so serious and feel for you man. IT WILL BE HARD because this was your first girlfriend and maybe it was love but maybe it was also you just really crushing over her.. whatever it is, you need time now to stay away and don't even be her friend because it WILL hurt just that little feeling inside that will make you feel that if you stay as her friend that she might give you another chance and you two would be bf and gf again but I'm sorry.. it won't work that way and you're only heading for diaster.. save yourself the trouble and drop all contact. TRUST ME!!!! You will be so thankful in the future because of it.
     
  4. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    Thats for the advice guys. I sent her one last message online that basically said that I want to talk to you again and if you do this for me I'll never ask anything of you again.

    And if asking her to talk about what happened pushes her away then I'm going to take that chance cause thats better then living like this.
     
  5. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Strange how it ended. You already sent your last msg so no point for my suggestion. But maybe you want to ask for the complete truth one day for closure yknow. But seems liek you gotta move on for now and leave it up to her. Because right now she controls the relationships fate. Unfortunatly you don't. Maybe one day she' wanna come back but don't give yourself false hope. Leave it alone for now enjoy life..
     
  6. Changed

    Changed Guest

    ya, your best bet is to just let it go. Only thing that will help is time.
     
  7. awd98tsi

    awd98tsi New Member

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    Yeah man, best thing you can do is drop contact. I've been going through this for over a month now, and as much as I want to talk to her and stuff, I know it's best to keep my distance. She was my first and we were together for over a year and a half, then on and off till she finally decided to be with someone else. As much as it hurt and STILL hurts, I just have to keep busy, stay with friends and go out and have FUN. No girl is worth stopping your life for, especially if they do that to you.
     
  8. Changed

    Changed Guest

    :bowdown: :werd:
     
  9. camrytt

    camrytt Sexual Deviant

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    also, in like 2 years you won't even remember her name. it just sucks right now, but thats because she's your first kiss man! there will be plenty more, just keep waiting, and read books by tucker max, he'll make you into a man.
     
  10. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    Well, here is an update on my story. This kid who works for the same company that I do (but in a different store) came down to my store to hang out. He sometime talks to my ex girlfriend because he works with her. He told me that he thinks my ex is either cheating on me or dumped me for another guy because my ex told him she liked this new guy she met.

    I was angry and pissed. I was just getting over her and now found out she was cheating on me. I jumped to conclusions and sent my ex a message online asking if this was true and how she could do that to me.

    She became really mad at me for believing him and said she would never do that to me. She cares about me too much to ever hurt me like that. I believe her.

    So I apploigized and I think we are okay right now. I really can't cut her out of my life like I planned on doing because shes not going to do that to me. Although she did say I send her too many messages a day and she can't handle that. I don't think I do that tho. So I promised not to send her anymore. She also said she thinks I need some time away from her like she needed from me.

    But I still havn't even seen her in over 4 weeks so I don't understand what she is talking about. The best is when I told her that I don't need any time because regardless of how much time I don't see her that won't change the fact that I need to get over her.

    She didn't reply to my last message which is probably good. I think I'm getting over her, but she's still going to be my friend.
     
  11. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    I'm not sure what to do anymore. One of my friends who is a girl told me to wait at least a month and a half before I even talk to my ex again. She said wait before you can be friends again.

    So far I havn't talked to her in 5 days and its been the longest/hardest 5 days of my life. I still love her.

    And I think she still has feelings for me, but since she is going through hard times she won't tell me or not. I want to talk to her again so much.

    My friend said when the month and a half is up just say hello to my ex. Although I really want to say that i miss her. What should I do?
     
  12. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Be strong. In this situation it's best that you stay away for now. Occupy yourself with other things so you have less time to think.
     
  13. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    I'll try to do that, but its just so hard cause when she brokeup with me she said she still loves me and she knows I know that. And I believe her because she has never lied to me. I think she is really going through something personal that I just don't know about. So giving her space is probably the best thing to do, even though I really don't want to give up on us.

    We used to be so happy..
     
  14. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    You don't neccesarily have to give up on it, until it's mutually agreed upon. There's probably so much you want to say and you probably feel like you just have to tell her, but that's where you have to resist. Stay up man :hsd:
     
  15. American SuperBeast

    American SuperBeast New Member

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    I know completely what you mean because I am going through the same thing right now except the girl that I love and cannot forget about ignores me completely. Just hang in there because I know it is hard to forget and I am trying so good luck.
     
  16. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    At first she ignored me, but then started talking to me again. Now I'm taking my space like she suggested, even tho I told her taking space won't change the fact that I still have to get over her. I just hope when I do talk to her again she feels the same way I feel about her. Good luck with your situation too :)
     
  17. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    Dude. I've been in a situation very similar to yours, however in what you call months.. I call years. If you EVER want to even have the chance at a relationship or even a friendship with this girl, you need to seriously just backup.

    Seriously. No contact. AT ALL. 4 weeks is nothing.. give her months if it takes that long. I had a similar situation where I was a wreck for months, but I listened to the advice of everyone to just completely backup. ZERO CONTACT. It was hard as hell, but I did get through it.. and eventually we worked it back together in the end.

    She even tells me now the same, that the more I would try to contact her, the more it would push her away. DON'T DO IT ANYMORE.
     
  18. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    I was so close to giving in last night, but I resisted. So after a month or two how will I know when I can contact her again?
     
  19. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    Yeah, I realized that after I wrote my last post.

    Is it normal for me to go from one extreme to another though? Right now I'm sorta happy that we aren't together. I know I'll find someone else, someone better who will want to be with me.

    I'm just afraid tomorrow I'll be depressed again because its valentines day.

    I don't know if I am really over her or not right now. I know I'll always have feelings for her, but right now I'm okay with us being apart. This is confusing haha.
     
  20. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Ahh your feelings proabbly will bounce around for a while. Sometimes you'll think you're sure of one thing, then later on figure you want the opposite. Give it to time to let the dust settle. :hsd:
     
  21. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    You wouldn't put up with the shit she's pulling from one of your buddies, so why are you putting up with it from her? Even if she wants to be your friend in the future, she's being a pretty shitty friend right now just by friend standards. Drop her, since she seems to have conveniently forgotten common courtesy. You're not a doormat.

    If you want to send a true message, don't contact her at all. Don't reply to her messages/emails and don't answer when she calls. Remove her from your address books and IM lists. It's next to impossible to be friends with an ex right away, anyway. You need time without her in the picture to heal, usually between a few weeks to a year, depending. Move on with your life.
     
  22. American SuperBeast

    American SuperBeast New Member

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    I understand about especially it being valentines day today too because thats going to be a little hard.I know today was for me.
     
  23. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    I need a little bit of help here. My friends in real life are pretty much telling me to move on with me life and get a new girlfriend. But I don't know if its too soon or not. I mean I really miss having a girlfriend, but I would hate to committe to someone when I'm still heartbroken over my ex. As of right now I think I'm over her, but that could still change. I hope it doesn't though.

    So there is this girl in my painting class who is really pretty and nice. She is sorta popular though. I'm pretty much the quiet guy who everyone likes. Although this year I have pretty much broken out of my shell and I now talk a lot. And I talk to everyone.

    Well, I sorta think this girl might like me. She says hello to me everyday and I talk to her a lot on myspace a lot. I commented on a couple of her pictures telling her she was pretty and she commented on mine. Saying she liked them. But I don't really know if she likes me. I'm also afraid of rejection and because she is in my class it would be awakard if she turned me down.

    Everything was different with my ex. We worked together and were good friends before I told her I liked her. With this girl we just know each other.

    So basically I'm asking if I should let myself move on this quickly or not. Its been about more than 4 weeks since I have been broken up with my ex. If I should go for her, then what should I do? Ask her out or get to know her more first? I wouldn't even know when to ask her out cause during class she is always with her friends and I don't see her in the hallway. Please help me...
     
  24. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Time heals all wounds. Some just leave scars.
     
  25. lastrain13

    lastrain13 Not Awaiting Approval

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    What should I say? I havn't asked a girl out this way before. With my ex, she asked me to do something and I asked her if she would consider it a date. But now that I only know this girl a little bit, should I ask her if she is free this weekend? And if so, is a movie a good idea? Is it too close to the weekend that I should wait for next week?

    Also, cause with my ex I kissed her before we ever went out. If the girl says yes, how do you know if a girl kisses on the first date?

    Thanks guys :)
     

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