I mentioned my ex and now the my girl feels weird about it and us...Help me

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jab1983, Jul 5, 2006.

  1. jab1983

    jab1983 40/40 crew failure with less than 1 week to go...D

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    Cliffs near bottom for those who are lazy.

    Sat morning there was a BBQ and my ex. was there. When I was telling my girl about the BBQ I just mentioned it to my girl and it wasn't a big deal to me so I didn't think anything of it.

    Later that night we were out with my friends and a friend said I should buy him a beer and I said :ugh: yeah right you owe me a beer, don't be stupid.

    My girl asked why I was mean to him and I said well you know he should after what he did with Yvette (my Ex.) he should owe me a beer.
    Her response was this
    :squint: Why do you care about that? why it should matter?

    I said "what he did was messed up" she got all sad or upset and pulled away from me and so I had to do the mandatory kiss ass move and pull her to me.

    "no, not like that I don't care about her I care a lot more about you than I cared about her. I mean look at all I did for your birthday, I never did anything like that for her"

    She just said "buying me things and planning something nice doesn’t mean you don't care about her"

    well I thought it was over but later in the night my friend asked for a beer again and again I said the same thing but this time my girl didn't say anything.


    yesterday morning she called me and when we were talking I could tell something was bothering her so I pushed and found out this whole EX. thing got to her.

    She said something along the lines of

    "I knew your ex. was going to be at the BBQ in the morning but you didn't have to tell me about it or how the dog you got her was there and was cute but not like my dogs. Your comparing, I didn't want to hear that. Then you're holding a grudge with a fried over her and told me so two times....that means you still think about her and care about her so I’m feeling weird about her being an issue"

    I couldn't say much so I just said "no she is not an issue it was about him I still think he fucked up so it was about him, believe me she is not an issue"

    My girl just said I don't want to talk about it now but yesterday she is an issue you told me about her which i didn't want to hear and then brought her up again twice at night when you were with me, i just wanted you to know how I felt. Then she just said she would call me later and hung up.


    That night she called me and I could tell she was still feeling weird about it so I tried to bullshit for a little to make her comfortable but it was an awkward conversation. She giggle a little a few times but I could tell she forced it, after about 10 minutes she just said she was going to go and she would call me later. I said we’ll can we talk about Sat. first? She just said I’ll call later.
    I asked if later that night or today and she just said "Later....good night"







    Cliffs>>>
    Saw my ex. mentioned it to my girl and talked about a dog I got the ex, my girl thinks I was comparing so I’m assuming she thinks I do that with her too. I just casually mentioned it when she asked me about the BBQ. At night I made a comment that a friend of mine should owe me beer after what he did with my ex. and my girl got upset but seemed to get over it when I said that she meant more to me than my Ex. did. I mentioned that same thing later in the night but there was no reaction so I figured that it was not a big deal because it’s not to me and I thought she understood what I had said. Yesterday my girl told me that I made her uncomfortable and that basically she thinks my Ex. is an issue but she really is not but my girl didn’t want to talk about it.



    How do I make her see that I could care less about my Ex. that I was just still upset with a friend.

    I'm thinking that I should go over to her house tonight and force a face to face then just tell her what I meant and that bringing up my Ex. was the quickest way to explain why my friend owed me a beer. My Ex. Is not an issue and I don’t even think about her.

    Should I bring flowers or anything like that because my girl is upset or will a sit down be enough?
    I don't think it should be a big deal and I need her to believe me when I tell her that I don't think about my Ex. & that she is not an issue? :sadwavey:
     
  2. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Did you explain to her what your friend did to warrant you still being upset with him? If not, I have to say she was totally justified in her response because depending on what happened, you should've let it go with your friend as soon as the feelings for your ex. were dropped. If it's something justifiably severe enough that you should still be mad at him, she needs to know that.

    Again, there's where you fucked up. Never take the "quickest way" to explain something if you know it could potentially upset the person you're talking to. Explaining to her what he did that justifies your response is the ONLY way to keep the water under the bridge.

    Only you know what your girl will respond to, but my advice is to tell her the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing BUT the truth. Based on the information she has now, she's in the right for feeling as she does. You need to give her the full picture, and if you're really justified in your actions, she will be able to see that and forgive you if she chooses.
     
  3. ptlb

    ptlb New Member

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    yea.. i just deleted my response....
    it was a bad response, bad suggestions :hsugh: . what BlazinBlazer Guy wrote makes a whole lot more sense then what I said.
    so :werd:
     
  4. jab1983

    jab1983 40/40 crew failure with less than 1 week to go...D

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    I doubt anyone cares but last night after I thought everything was cool my girl says.
    "well hey tommorrow I'll give you most of your stuff back"
    I asked what she was talking about and she said
    "anything you have ever bought me, well not the panties because i've worn them"

    after about 5 minutes of silence I just said "why"

    and she simply said "I just don't want this, I don't want to do this anymore"

    I tried talking to her but she thinks or feels that I still care about my ex.:wtc:

    She broke up with me over a missinterpretation and that makes me very pissed. I hate that she could give up on this so easily. Even worse that she didn't want to do it in person. Well I'm going to be emo for a while:wtc:
     
  5. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Sorry how it turned out, but it kind of sounds like she needs to grow-up a bit anyway.
     
  6. xxblakersxx

    xxblakersxx The only verdict is vengeance.

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    Congratulations. When I say that, I'm serious. You should be thankful that you didn't have to waste any more of your life on someone immature enough to end a relationship based on assumptions, not facts. A real woman wouldn't have ran away like a little girl, and would have approached you for the facts before making a decision. Welcome to the single life :)
     
  7. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    dawt!

    It's quite true, if your past relationships bother her just because you talk about it or what not she's not the right one. Move on.
     
  8. jab1983

    jab1983 40/40 crew failure with less than 1 week to go...D

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    I just hate this, she was my best friend for years so this hurts more than just a regular relationship.

    BTW-This all happened at 3:30 this morning (she and her friends went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean and I told her to call me when she got home) I talked to her for almost an hour then I couldn't sleep after even though I was tired as hell.

    Im running on 3 hours of sleep :sadwavey:

    Its because she was my friend that she knows everything about my EX. and I hate how this bites me in the ass.


    Thanks guys:hug:
     
  9. diaper eater

    diaper eater OT Supporter

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    she really is just mildly retarded right now.

    you need to drill it to her that the girl that was caught up between you and your friend is totally irrelevant. its not that he did stuff with HER in partictular, but that he betrayed your trust and respect and did something he knows he shouldnt have done.

    i ended up punching my best friend in the face twice a few weeks ago. had him on the ground screaming in pain because a while back he did shit with my ex right after we broke up, and right after i explicitly told him that hanging out with her would be the absolute worst thing he could do to me at that point in time.

    his current gf understood where i was coming from just fine and thought he deserved it also
     
  10. xxblakersxx

    xxblakersxx The only verdict is vengeance.

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    A classic example of how your gf is mature, and his was not. If it were me, I would focus my energy on trying to get a gf like yours, instead of trying to repair things with somebody who obviously isn't at the same level as me. He's out of her league, but if and only if he believes that himself.
     
  11. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    First rule is to never talk about ex's.

    Second rule? Shit, she dumped you over this BS? You - as mentioned - should be glad. Imagine what would happen if you came home an hour late! :noes:

    Seriously, the lesson here is to learn to not talk about ex's, and understand that some women remove themselves from the pool of acceptable women all by themselves. Let them.
     
  12. KuntryFresh

    KuntryFresh Midwest

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    jesus what a drama queen. honestly. " i will give you yoru stuff back"

    tell her to fuck off and grow the fuck up
     

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