SRS I managed to mind fuck myself into some acute depression last night

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Mar 29, 2008.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    The bars were shit, only a few women but of course it didn't mean shit because I didn't do anything. There was one brunette I made eye contact with, but as soon as I drew my Sam Houston style line in the sand to say "get up and talk to girls again," two douche bags walked over to her. Then, she burned them off and the shit hit me.

    There was another dude there who I perceived as socially superior showed up. Its weird, I thought the dude looked like crack head, but i for some reason (buckle up) the girl perceived him to be more attractive to me, which I know is probably a fabricated self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't know man, it just wrecked my shit. It's weird, like if there is any guy around with any one aspect superior to mine: shirt, jeans, shoes, belt, hair, money, knowledge, or car; then I feel inferior and determine there is no reason for me interact with these women, because they'd all prefer "the other guy who's better."

    My male and female friends with me told me I was insane, and I didn't even really think the guy looked better than me, but I perceived that the woman would enjoy everything about him more than me. WTF is wrong with me?
     
  2. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Remember that the whole situation was 100% in your head, which is a good thing, because you have the power to change it.

    Very often I see average looking guys with no jobs hooking up with beautiful women.

    Judging by your post, I would say you are worried too much of the outcome, especially if that means getting rejected. Consciously, you probably know if they reject you that it's simply something you did, not who you are, but subconsciously, you probably take it pretty hard and feel inferior.

    The only way to get over it is when you are faced with the situation again, tell yourself "I don't care what happens. Stop thinking and just go," then get up and go talk to the girls. Approaching, like ANYTHING else in life, comes easier with repetition and practice. To sound like a motivational poster, you'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

    Those guys that you let make you feel inferior are probably normal guys with many of the same insecurities as everyone else. When they put on those nice jeans, belts, or shoes, they are thinking "Will girls like this?" Had it been you who went up and talked to the girls first, those guys would have been thinking of you the same stuff you thought about them.

    I work security at a country bar/club called The Electric Cowboy, and one thing that completely changed my world is I'll overhear the best looking guys/girls in the bar doubting themselves even more than the worse looking people. It's pretty common to see the shy good looking guys in the corner with their beers while the average looking guys are out on the dance floor dirty dancing with some hot girls. Most people assume "Those guys are just too cool for any of these girls," but the truth is, the whole time they are over there they are thinking "Man, we need to get laid."

    I've been rambling for a while now, but the point I'm trying to get across is that you're looking far too much into the exterior stuff (looks, possessions) and not enough into the interior stuff (ability to make her laugh, confidence, intelligence, compassion...etc).
     
  3. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    clubs are so tough for anyone, especially someone with self-esteem issues

    why don't you try meeting girls in everyday places and getting numbers, then doing dates?

    its so easy if you just keep it simple

    additionally, i see many men who meet girls at clubs and get numbers, but most of the time it is difficult to get these girls on dates. there are always exceptions of course. but in general i think clubs are better for meeting girls and fucking them that night, and getting numbers in the course of your daily life is much better for actually dating
     
  4. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    My day game is far superior. I didn't really have a problem with approaching women after my great embarrassment excursion about 3 months ago. Then, suddenly its back and its incapacitating. Suddenly, I'm frozen again, and cannot talk to them because they don't want another annoying fuckstick running his mouth about a bunch of bullshit they don't care about. They want someone fit, masculine, financially exquisite, with a normal sense of humor; not a fat, ugly head-ed, child with shitty cars and nothing to talk about.

    I don't think its a self confidence issue, its an issue where I've perceived this absurd reality which is a total fabrication, which justifies a lack of effort.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2008
  5. Striker22

    Striker22 New Member

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    Im definitely hearing you on this part. It fucks me over a lot :wtc:
     
  6. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    If you were confident in who you are, you wouldn't be having these problems. Spin it and call it what you will, but it is a confidence issue.

    If you were confident in who you are, you wouldn't take notice to these other men. When you look at these guys and say to yourself "Why am I not like that?", then you are obviously not confident with yourself.
     
  7. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    i need to find a way to flip the switch.
     
  8. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    8 approaches, 2 numbers...I'm back on the horse...lol.
     

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