I asked my girlfirend to leave today. My girlfriend is just a fantastic person, but she suffers from serious issues which have begun to do serious damage to my self esteem, and my finances. I live on Social Security because I am disabled. My girlfriend suffers from something's which have yet to be defined. I know she's an adult child [her parents are both alcoholics, and very abusive] and I know she suffers from horrendous depression, but I also know she has addictive behaviors such as overeating, and money spending problems. Unfortunately, because of my poor health for the past many years Sue has been the one responsible for handling the money. I was awarded SSI 3 months ago. The money was retroactive from when I first was defined as disabled, which was the year 2000. They sent me about Thirty Thousand dollars. Twenty Six of which I had to send back to my disability insurance company. If I was ever awarded SSI, it was written in my contract to pay back the private insurance company. The remaining money was there to help me rebuild my life. Additionally SSI would send me 900 dollars per month every month from this point forward as long as I continued to be disabled. Lately I've been feeling reasonable enough take on some of the responsibility for handling the finances, so I've begun organizing my bank accounts, and bills. I've spoken with my Credit Union at least 4-5 times in the last 3 days. While organizing the bills, I found out that my girlfriend had spent all of that money from SSI. Some of it went towards groceries, and normal daily spending, as well as rent. I estimate based on the transactions I saw in the bank accounts that she blew thru around 3-4K of my SSI money. On top of that she wasn't paying bills on time, nor was she paying off my credit card. The money was supposed to be used to pay bills, and to help me rebuild my life, and instead she was destroying it. At any rate I've been with this girl for nearly 1/5th of my life. I've asked her countless times to get help, and she refused to. I suggested she go to both therapy, and her doctor for treatment of her depression. I wanted to help her. I've worked so hard to be understanding, and yet, my shortcomings have always been the fact that I was afraid to let her go, I was afraid to surrender to the fact that I was powerless over her circumstance. I thought I could help, and all I've done is hurt her by enabling her. This financial situation which she has created is not the first time. She has done it before. Once on this same magnitude [a few grand], and 3 other times on a smaller magnitude of about 500 to 1000. This is a lot of money when you consider I only collect 900 per month, and she doesn't work. I sat down with her yesterday and this is the conversation we had: I began the conversation by holding her hand and telling her that I loved her. I told her that we have some very serious things to talk about. Sue asked if I was breaking up with her, and I told her "It's not that simple." I told her that I called the bank yesterday [7/1/04] as I was organizing the payee lists and bank accounts. I told her that I consolidated the accounts [we had 3-4 accounts], and that I was on the phone with the bank for 2 hours. While talking with the bank I found out that all of the accounts were empty. I talked with the bank about the transactions which had taken place and tried to figure out where the money went. I told Sue that I know she took the money and spent it. I told her that I was not sure how much she spent, but that I knew based on the transactions that she had taken quite a lot of it. I told Sue that I would like her to find away to give the money back, and that I needed at least 1,000 dollars immediately to pay rent [Due July 1st & Credit Card Minimum Also Due July 1st]. I continued speaking and told her that this was very hard for me - and I began to cry as I spoke. I said I was very angry with her, and especially angry with what she had done, but that I've forgiven her. I told her I had hopes and dreams tied up in that money, that I wanted to pay down debts, and begin investing and building a future, and that she had taken that from me. I told her there will be no ultimatums, and that I will not tell her what she must do after she leaves - it's up to you. [She's heard it enough in the past that she needs help] I then told her that I would like her to leave today. I told her to pack up a bag. I then stood up and told her that I love her a lot, and that I loved her enough to let her go. Later on that day she took off her ring and bracelet that I gave her as my sign of commitment. She left them on a desk. As she was packing I asked her why she left them, and she said "I didn't think you would think I was worthy of wearing these anymore." I told her that's absolutely not true, and that she is very worthy. I told her if she leaves those here, then it's her giving up on me, not me giving up on her. As she continued to pack she asked me if this was going to be permanent, and I told her it's only permanent if she chooses for it to be. She's very angry, both with me, and with herself. This has been a very painful thing for me to do, but for my health, and my recovery I've had to turn faith over to a higher power. I don't know if it's permanent, but I do know she will not be coming back into my life until she changes [Get's treatment, pays me back, and actually works on recovery], and that's a decision she'll have to make. If anyone has anything postive to share, please do, because I'm grieving here, and in a lot of pain. Please leave negativity out of this thread. I believe I've done the right thing, but I feel very alone.