SRS I lost control last night

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by schmitty101, Nov 24, 2009.

  1. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    And today I feel terrible about it. My judgement just totally went out the fucking window and I almost fucked myself again.

    An old friend from high school called me up and asked if I wanted to hagn out. I proposed that we go out for a beer. I said to myself and I also told him that I'm not going to drink that much because I'm the one driving. Anyway we go out to a few bars, we go to one bar and meet up with some people. I start talking to them a little bit, I drink 1 more beer and I ran to the bathroom and puked my brains out. Some nights I can drink all night, other nights I drink 6-7 beers and I get the spins and start puking. Anyway they were all cool people but I feel like I totally made as ass out of myself. At the end of the night I was pretty drunk and I dropped my friend off and I drove myself home. I don't really remember the drive, but I do remember that I was swirving while driving. I could of gotten a DUI or killed someone.

    It just freaks me out because I thought I learned my lesson by now. I thought I had control of myself and I knew right from wrong but last night proves otherwise. Today I feel like i'm in control again, but what the fuck happend last night? I mean if it happened, then that means it could happen again, and it could happen randomly. I'm just shaken up that I made such a dumbass decision and embarrased myself after I thought I was done with my whole "irresponsible" phase. God damn. Any opinions?
     
  2. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    can you go out to a bar and just have one drink? or is your control that bad?
     
  3. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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  4. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    I can have just one drink if I have to. Last night was an example of when I really should of limited it to 1-2 beers. But for reasons I can't explain, I decided to completely ignore the fact that I'm driving later and I drank too much. I don't know why I did it, I was surrounded by people my age who were finishing up college while I was just in my first semester and I felt some inadequacy.

    The worst part is that it was just a Monday night. They weren't getting hammered, they were just having a chill night. I, however, ended up puking and some of them started calling me a pussy. Whatever, guys do that. As much as I feel i'm in control, when I actually get together with people and i'm out being social, I usually feel like I'm never on the same page as others. Maybe that's why I go overboard with the booze, to escape the feeling that i'm not fitting in.
     
  5. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    wolfsky- Your definitely right. People who aren't responsible should stay away from bars.

    I was fine as the night started and then I lost my head somewhere along the way. Looking back on it today I see just how powerless I was. It scares the shit out of me.

    I agree that this could be related to shitty social skills. Social skills are easy, you just fucking talk and be cool about things and you should have a smooth time. My main problem is that I get bored during conversations with people I don't really know and they pick up on that. Once they realize that i'm being an ass they kinda keep their distance. If I could find a way to stay excited and enthusiastic while communicating, it would probably solve a lot.
     
  6. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    isn't it baitout to confess to D&D on an internet forum? :dunno:
     
  7. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    I have no idea what you just said.
     
  8. seismic

    seismic New Member

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    You probably shouldn't confess to crimes online is the jist of it, I think.
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    In the latter days of my drinking I did this many, many times. I would go out with friends to either not drink and/or just have 1 or 2. However, I would come home drunk and wonder WTF just happened?

    I honestly didn't intend on getting drunk and even if 1-2 would have buzzed me, I certainly didn't intend to get plastered and drive home drunk.

    As I look back on my experiences I was always just changing my mind. I would say, well I'm not drinking tonight but then when I was in the bar with all the hot women and all the other people drinking, I'd change my mind. I'd say, "Meh....I'll only have 1 to take the edge off cuz that chick over there is hot." Then after the first one I would change my mind again saying, "well that one feels good I'll go for another and see how I feel after that."

    This process went on and on till I either gave up on my "controlled" drinking and started pounding down the drinks or until I was so drunk I didn't remember about changing my mind.

    In AA I learned that this is quite common behavior among alcoholics. Why? Because once I start drinking, the "phenomenon of craving" sets in and I'm now drinking to overcome that craving. The sad thing is, no amount of alcohol can ever over come that craving. So we have a saying, "One drink is too many and 1,000 drinks is not enough." That sounds really silly but it was absolutely true in my experience.

    Here's the thing, you seem to be showing signs of alcoholism. If you want to learn more, the rooms of AA can help but there's also a lot of information out on the internet. Only you can diagnose yourself as an alcoholic but just know....if you are one, there is help available.
     
  10. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    It's called as you get drunk, your judgement goes to Hell. You seem to have self control issues. Maybe you not taking your car when you go out to drink will remedy everything.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well its indeed a hard conclusion that you need to live a pure livestyle and throw everything thats bad for your life out of the window, you need to come to terms with the idea that 'you cannot afford it'.

    You can't just do anything you want to do, while thinking there are no negative consequenses to it, reality is that booze messes you up and destroys more then you are willing to lose. You will lose it all if you drink.
     
  12. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    Just that it's stupid to confess to felonies on an internet forum.

    Don't feel bad for your crazy drunken antics, I remember pulling the same shit..

    Mod edit: No reason to get nasty about this, there are alcoholics up there who are way up in their 50 ties or even drink till they die ,besides the stuff has destroyed many many lives and families in a more significant ways then you can think of.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2009

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