I like this girl... but I don't like her family...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Drowned, Jun 21, 2005.

  1. Drowned

    Drowned NameThatPornstar.com

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    What to do? I've been with this girl for more than a year, but her family irritates me... they have no education, very vulgar and sometimes even her mom dreses up and looks very cheap... I'm scared she might turn out the same... they yell all the time, they are just plain annoying... I can't stand them... she is the most loving girl and when I met her she was the same, I told her I didn't like it, and she tried to change for me, but when she's around them or when she gets mad, it all comes back... I know I'm not going to be with her family all the time, but they are very united and I know there's going to be some problems ahead because of this... should I break this off before things get worse? :sadwavey:
     
  2. Drowned

    Drowned NameThatPornstar.com

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    I would also like to add she has very bad examples in her house... her parents have cheated on each other, her dad is a control freak, he tries to control everybody and humilates them in front of people, to show them who's boss... even her mom. They have a 10 year old brother who is out of control, both parents let him do whatever he wants and even if it's not their fault, she and her sister get the blame for everything. They have a thing to show off to everybody that they recently made some good money by buying things and showing them off (her relatives are not doing well) and in the mean time, they take weeks to buy her the heart medicine she needs... (bad heart)... they have tons of stuff I hate.

    Too bad I can't get this girl to come live with me and never see her family again :mamoru:
     
  3. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    how old are you?
    if you're young, just have fun. as serious as you might think it is, you're not going to get married to her--trust me.
    if you're old (i.e. in your late 20s), that family might become yours. run far, far away.
     
  4. Drowned

    Drowned NameThatPornstar.com

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    im 26 :o that's why I'm thinking all this... if I was younger I wouldn't worry about it :(
     
  5. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

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    from your other post, you said she was 17. i don't really think you should really pursue her any further.
    not to downplay your relationship, but how much can you have in common with someone so much younger? remember, she's still maturing (mentally and emotionally). the potential that she becomes her parents are very very high.
     
  6. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    Everything may be OK between the two of you - you can probably have a regular relationship and just hold your tongue when it comes time to visit with her family. However - once she has children, she is very likely to raise them in the same fashion as she was raised, unless she specifically makes it a point to break the cycle. She is also entirely capable of modeling her parent's behavior when it comes to marital issues.

    I would never write someone off because of their past. Everyone has the option to change. If you want to get serious, and if you see marriage and children in your future with this woman, you need to have some conversations with her about your expectations of family life. (Every couple should do this anyway. Some people don't have the luxury of seeing their in-laws in action, so you can imagine the shock when this behavior comes to light in their spouse later in life.)

    As far as dealing with the in-laws - the two of you can determine exactly how much contact you need to have. There is no law requiring you to visit every other week. The two of you can determine exactly how much crap you're willing to put up with too. Unfortunately, there are some families that are just plain toxic, and you are perfectly justified to remove both yourselves and your own children from the situation.
     
  7. gibhunter

    gibhunter New Member

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    You marry a girl, you become part of her family. Like it or not, you'll have to go to family gatherings, father's day, mother's day, birthdays, christmas, 4th of July, the list just goes on. If you hate them now, you'll probably hate them even more later.

    If you love her enough to accept it, then go ahead as she will definitely be different from the fact that she's with you. People behave in similar fashion to the ones they keep company with.
     
  8. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    If you plan on being with her, her family WILL become your family. And wether a female will admit it or not, she WILL become the cumulation of her parents. Its inevitable.

    It also sounds like you want her to be around her family less. Ya know what, it doesnt matter how much you hate her family, they are still her family and you need to encourage her to keep a good relationship with them no matter what.

    Also the fact that you come to the internet asking if you should break up with her is a sure sign it wont last. People like to help with problems, and thats what this forum is for. But when you already have thoughts of breaking up, it will only get worse from there.

    Do yourself and her a favor and go ahead and move on.
     
  9. Mirth

    Mirth New Member

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    dump her,, you got to love the family
     
  10. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    My ex's parents hated me. Now they love me because they hate her new bf even more. :rofl: But yeah I personally would not get involved with a girl whos parents dislike me or if I disliked them. It adds so much stress to a relationship. This family needs therapy. If they're unwilling to go, there's not much else that you can do.
     
  11. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :eek3: :eek3: :eek3: wow... you remind me of my brother and his gf's situation. she is soo much different from her parents. you would think her parents came from a normal middle-class family, but that's not quite the case. her dad, whom i've never met, is apparently vulgar and impolite. her mom, whom i've met, is a nice woman, but loves to complain... about everything and anything. pessimism gets old after a while.

    like your situation, her parents cheated on one another, and they have been divorced for quite some time. her father just got remarried. alcholism runs in their family, i believe.

    that said, you can't judge a person based on their family. she's a great girl! i love her to death. my brother hasn't really dated a lot of girls, but out of the handful he has, she's my favorite.

    oh, to clarify, they've been together almost 3 years.
     
  12. JohNny T

    JohNny T Guest

    ok...ask yourself this

    1) does she act like that already? like her mom that is...
    2) do you really like her and are you willing to stay with her even if she changes?
     

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