I lied to my S.O.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by LoSt, Apr 27, 2005.

  1. LoSt

    LoSt New Member

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    Long story short...
    Said I was somewhere I wasn't with the people I said I'd be with. He checked the cell phone call log and saw where my calls originated from...BUSTED...I fess up and tell him what I did, where I was but he doesn't believe me since I initially lied about my whereabouts. Now he thinks I've cheated on him which I didn't. We're supposed to close on our house Friday and get married in May. He now has second thoughts.
    Any advice? I love him so much and don't want to lose him over something stupid.:crying:
     
  2. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Why did you feel the need to lie in the first place?
     
  3. LoSt

    LoSt New Member

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    I was going out to a lounge/club with friends and he hates that. He thinks because I'm 26 and a mother that I shouldn't go out "clubbin".
    I think that he is insecure in those ways as far as his thinking that going out on occasion is wrong. Before I met him I went out once a month with girlfriends never looking for guys or hook ups.
    He and I went out once for our anniversary and left early. We don't enjoy the same entertainment. I love going out and being social...he is a home body.
     
  4. LoSt

    LoSt New Member

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    He's not psycho...he came across the bill while cleaning and getting ready to pack to move into our new house.
    Yeah losing the trust is gonna damage this relationship....that is if we still have one.
     
  5. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

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    youre over exadurating here:

    But, you fucked up and you have to understand that.
     
  6. HalfPastGone

    HalfPastGone OT Supporter

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    she didn't fuck up, everyone tells those little lies whose intentions are to decieve the other person :hsugh:.. they merely just save both people from arguing over something stupid. it is true that if the other person finds out they will get butt hurt over it.. but it's nothing that should end a realationship if your SO is understanding :hs:
     
  7. HalfPastGone

    HalfPastGone OT Supporter

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    oops mistake..

     
  8. suprer

    suprer New Member

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    :wtf:

    makes more sense that its the other way around, him checking up on her BECAUSE she's a fucking liar.

    lying because he checks up on her... thats a great excuse. :nono:
     
  9. P07r0457

    P07r0457 New Member

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    this isolated incident is nothing major... but remember that everytime this happens he will trust you less and less. Before long, he can't trust anything you say... Even if you never lie about anything major, he can't trust that -- and in his eyes, if you lie about the small stuff, then he really isn't sure about the bigger things.
     
  10. DreamDemon

    DreamDemon New Member

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    Oh man oh man this sounds soooo familiar. In high school the SO and I were 30 miles apart. We lived in 2 VERY different towns and ran with 2 VERY different crowds. He used to get soooooo f*ing pissed when I would go out with my friends for a night on the "town" (and I say it like that cuz it's a little tiny town of like 600 people, where you know everyone, and everyone knows you). And I would lie and lie and lie and lie about where I was because I hated it when he would freak out and kill me over someting to stupid. I'll admit I caused some trust issues early in the relationship, but still.

    But now, we live in the same town, his friends have adopted me blah blah... when I go home, I don't bother lying to him, because he needs to grow up. yes, we like diffrent things, we like different people. Get over it. And he does now. As long as I tell him the truth, he gets pissed, but then gets over it a lot quicker than when I lied to him. I just thought I would share my experience. *thumbsup*
     
  11. Toxicity

    Toxicity New Member

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    My av is so small you can't see it!
    Fuck man, why do people have the urge to lie... Just don't lie, hell have more respect for you, i would, tell hims traiht out ur going clubbing and be done with it
     
  12. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    My current GF who I've been with a month, I tell her everything. I did lie to her about how many people I'd slept with but later reconciled that by telling her the truth.

    You can reconcile this too, you just have to be careful about how you do it and make sure you never lie again while he's having trust issues with you. Or really just never lie again.
     
  13. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Apologise for lying and explain why you did it.
    Secret to life: Communi-fuckin-cation
     
  14. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    why would you want to be with someone you feel you have to lie to? I'm all about truth and not lieing, but why would you even FEEL THE NEED to lie? If you are truly in love even the little lie's dont happen.
     
  15. dscallaway69

    dscallaway69 New Member

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    see one i wouldn't be happy that you lied but two you went and did something that you know he doesn't approve of. You should have just told him upfront rather than lying about it. honesty and trust is the foundation of a happy relationship and at this point in time you don't have either. Good luck is all I have to say
     
  16. redking

    redking New Member

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    Major red flag. Are you sure this marriage will work out?!?
     
  17. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Lieing to him isn't a big deal. He really should not have a problem with this. But you shouldn't feel the need to lie to your fiance. And if he's so insecure to think that you cheated on him, well, that's not so great either. You guys should work this stuff out before getting married.
     
  18. LoSt

    LoSt New Member

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    Ok after reading all the comments I must reply.
    First I don't make a habit of lying. this was one isolated incident. I was way wrong. He was upset when I told him I was going out because I was driving a long distance alone in my beater car. I changed locations and hung out in his city without inviting him. It was just the girls hanging out.

    Second he doesn't check up on me. He truly stumbled upon the bill 2 1/2 months later. If he was suspicious and checking my call log he would've checked then.

    Third we communicate well. This was the first and last time I'll lie to him. Learned my lesson the hard way.

    Fourth eventhough we are so different we are very compatible, but as in any relationship there are things to work on. Our difference in entertainment is a minor thing compared to other things that could be worse. The day before he actually asked me if I wanted to do something this weekend. I must give him credit because I believe he is trying to please me....maybe because I told him that if he didn't take me out I'd go out on my own. I would prefer him to be with me though.

    I did explain to him I was trying to avoid a fight over something stupid therefore not telling him my exact whereabouts. He said he would've been upset then but would have been more understanding since I would've been straight foreward with him.

    But thats not what I did and I was wrong and I fucked up. I own the responsibility and will do whatever it takes to make things right. I hate to think though that he is going to be second guessing me. This is the consequence for me telling a lie.
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2005
  19. suprer

    suprer New Member

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    your perspective: a lie over something insignificant to avoid a confrontation

    his perspective: where's the proof she's not lying about other shit.. /trust


    it takes one hell of a lot of time and effort to fix something that seemed so insignificant from the start. Moral: don't lie about ANYTHING when it comes to your SO.
     
  20. Juan MacLean

    Juan MacLean New Member

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    I'm having a hard time reading the posts that doesn't have AV's :hs:

    You lied, he found out so give him surprise sex or something else that's nice and tell him you're really sorry. Oh and never lie again! :squint:
     
  21. Mikey

    Mikey This one, this form I hold now, so Wide eyed and h

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    :werd: he wouldn't have to check up on her if she didn't fucking lie :slap:
     
  22. Mikey

    Mikey This one, this form I hold now, so Wide eyed and h

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    glad you understand that
     
  23. lebomb

    lebomb New Member

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    X2.....thats exactly my thoughts.

    This issue will never go away......you will probably be bored with him and he will think you are a party animal.

    I see a HUGE red flag.
     
  24. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    i have no advice to give. however, i can give you an OT hug.


    :hug:
     
  25. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    i'm not even gonna bother to read replies, so if i say something somebody else said just ignore me.

    talk to him, tell him how you feel. why you did it. how you dont want to lose hiim over something so stupid. tell him you're sorry, tell him everything that is going on in your life. talk talk talk talk. if he doesn't want to talk, let him cool off. coax him back into talking with you about it.


    p.s. dont ever lie again. it's never a good thing, no matter how small and trivial the lie.
     

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