SRS i lie a lot

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Durka Durka, Aug 16, 2007.

  1. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i really don't know how to proceed with this problem because i'm not sure if i'm telling myself the truth.
     
  2. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    when you say you lie, what are you lying about?

    is it to other people about certain things? are the things you saying hurtful?
     
  3. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    sometimes.

    sometimes i insult people when i don't really mean it, lots of other gay shit. usually lie about my thoughts on other people mostly.
     
  4. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    I always do that. I do it compulsively. The very thought of "I'm gonna lie" just comes to me and feels right so I just end up lying. Later on, I can't see the point in why I lied.
     
  5. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    start by being honest with yourself. stop and think about what you truly believe leaving out all thoughts of other people and biases of your own. if after that you're still not sure then talk to someone about it. you don't have to use the exact context, but you can set up a similar scenario and see what other people think. listen to their perspective and decide what parts you agree or disagree with. make sure you at least try to get an idea in your head first then you can compare and modify what you believe based on the new information.

    after you're set with that try to mimic that thought process in public. this part is easier said than done since other factors like social acceptance and insecurity can have heavy effects on how we behave in front of others. but who cares what they think. it's more important to stand up for what you believe in.
     
  6. Platinum_Thunder

    Platinum_Thunder Reliability for life and liberty

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    Are you lying right now?
     
  7. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i don't know :hs:
     
  8. Platinum_Thunder

    Platinum_Thunder Reliability for life and liberty

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    :hs:
     
  9. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i really am serious about this though, i just don't really know how to talk about it because i'm so used to bending the truth i kind of want to be honest about it but at the same time i don't really want to tell anybody either. i don't know my brain is fried.
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Live a life without secrets, if you've got nothing to hide, then you've got nothing to defend or lie about. The nice thing about saying the truth is that it gives a comfortable feeling, i never lie as it is completely useless to me, i am my own judge jury and executor i have no one to whom i must justify myself to other then myself.

    The best thing to do is just keep on trying pressing that off button in your brain, when you tell a lie start of following it with, ' no wait i meant , (fill in truth here)'.initially you may not be able to stop the compulsive lying, but if you constantly fight against it, and replace the lying with just telling the truth then what you say is in balance with the truth.

    You know usually people lie to avoid negative consequenses that would bring discredit to their own lives.

    Example:
    You broke the vase. Mom asks did you break it, you lie 'say no the dog did it' to avoid punishment. It becomes different if you really didn't do it, the dog indeed broke the vase, but you say your brother did it.

    In the first case its avoidance, in the second its purely pointless, you should at least try to avoid the pointless lies, they don't bring you any value and are totally uneccesary other then to bring dismay to your souls feeling of harmony with yourself and others.

    Just try to practise stopping with lying as stated above, Hopefully you will improve on stopping yourself from lying unneccesarily and preferably entirely quitting with making false statements.
     
  11. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    good advice. i find myself doing this quite often in cases where i change my mind about something, i'll say that my mind was made up from the start.

    for example; yesterday i was looking for a pair of socks to wear and i asked my mom where those socks were, she said 'you told me you hated those socks', well i initially thought they looked like shit and said that, but then i changed my mind and now i just constantly deny ever saying that at all, even though everybody knows i did, i just say i never said it so much that it becomes the truth.

    i know that's a really stupid example but it applies to a lot of situations in my life, especially more serious ones. i really hate it.

    i've just always found that a good lie is easier to believe than the truth and i really hate the stress of trying to convince somebody of something. i find that it's harder to convince people that i'm telling the truth, so i usually just tell them what i know they'll accept. :dunno:
     
  12. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    how old are you?
     
  13. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    19. i turn 20 on tuesday.
     
  14. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    You THINK they'll accept it. You don't really know. They may agree with you, but then later on think to themselves "that doesn't seem right". This will happen if you lie long enough. People will start to doubt what you say and end up distancing themselves from you. Just tell the truth. It's not worth damaging your credibility.
     
  15. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    honestly i think this has already started to happen. :(
     
  16. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    I'm sure it has, but don't make it worse.

    Start telling the truth now. They might doubt what you say at first, but that's to be expected. The instant you get called out on a lie your reaction is to defend yourself and that will make them even more skeptical. If you get called out on the truth there's no reason to defend yourself. Just tell them that what you said is the truth and leave it at that. The strength and confidence in your words will help convince people that you are not lying.

    Don't worry about convincing others. The trick is to be confident in yourself and your own words. They may believe you or they may not. At least you know you did the right thing. If you think like that then what everyone else thinks doesn't matter.
     
  17. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    I figured you were young. It's a typical young male trait. You need to build some self confidence.

    People that lie all the time are generally hiding themselves from everyone. It's a defense mechanism derived out of fear and insecurity - they think that people will find out the truth and not like them for it.

    Get over it and start being true to yourself. The rest will follow.
     
  18. Marmitha

    Marmitha Milk ftw

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    example?
     
  19. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i don't know i just usually don't give my honest opinion of people. like for example, if a friend of mine says that another friend of ours is being an asshole, i'll defend the other friend even if i really do think he's an asshole.
     
  20. Nanook

    Nanook New Member

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    And why do you that? Is it completely compulsive, or do you justify it somehow?
     
  21. Looney

    Looney bittah!

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    i do this also.
    i usually lie because im embarrassed about something and dont really want others to find out or view me differently so i lie about it - sometimes i do it without even thinking and then realise that i just told a lie

    the excuse in my head is "once this happens, i wont have to lie about it anymore".. but ive found over the past few years its been a neverending cycle i am yet to break free of
     
  22. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    ask yourself why you defend him. is it because you want everyone to get along? is it cus you view that as talking shit and thus look down upon yourself? is it cus you've been friends with this asshole for so long that you feel personally offended when people criticize him? figure out why you do it and then replace that thought proccess with a better one where you don't have to lie.
     
  23. Maximumjmz

    Maximumjmz New Member

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    Is compulsive lying a disease?
     

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