I let myself be open for disappointment.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kittah Pantz, Dec 28, 2009.

  1. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    I started to see this guy the beginning of my winter break. It was something I was really looking forward to since my ex had broken up with me right after Thanksgiving break. I wasn't too sure about this guy because he was someone my parents knew, and knowing them he'd be a total loser. I was very wrong. He turned out to be pretty awesome on the few dates we went on and after fooling around a little bit I got emotional attached. But of course I get a message from him telling me it's just not going to work, while earlier that day he was talking about seeing me and cuddling. So I'm kinda wtf at the moment and highly disappointed. But I'd really like to know how in the hell to get myself from being so attached so quickly? Please help a sista out ot.
     
  2. poormanq45

    poormanq45 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2009
    Messages:
    17,263
    Likes Received:
    0
    Women are more emotional.

    How far did the "fooling around" go?
     
  3. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    He eat me out and fingered me but no full on sex. He keeps saying it never meant to happen and normally he discusses these things with the girl before it happens. But whatever dude.
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Messages:
    18,783
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lansing, MI USA
    Wait... he keeps saying WHAT was never meant to happen? A relationship with you? Or just getting physical with you?
     
  5. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Getting physical
     
  6. k1ko

    k1ko OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2002
    Messages:
    6,658
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    ATX
    ehh i think the dude is just a flake. Some guys pursue chicks just to see if they can get them and when they do, they lose all attraction. If the guy was truly really into you, he certainly wouldn't be acting the way he is now. You are still fairly fresh out of your last relationship. Take this time to improve and work on yourself.

    For now, just ignore him if he contacts you again. you may find that this makes him more interested, but you should realize that this is just temporary. its almost like an ego lifting thing for him at this point
     
  7. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    1,961
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BC, Canada
    I admit this recently happened to me...I didn't even realize I was doing it but I guess I only enjoyed the chase, once I caught her I lost all attraction. It wasn't intentional and I felt like shit over it but it still happened.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    If you want to learn how to not get attachd so easily you first need to get comfortable being alone.

    You started dating this guy what, like 1-2 weeks after your breakup? Stay single for a few months and examine why you feel the need to have a guy in our life. Learn some independence.

    Once you feel comfortable with yourself being alone you learn to not fall so easily.
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    You did nothing for him?
     
  10. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2005
    Messages:
    10,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville FL
    it just sounds like he wasn't really into you that much in the first place and wanted to see how far he could take it. And just out of curiosity why would a guy your parents picked out be a loser?
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Pretty sure she's just saying that usually when parents pick a guy/girl out for their kid it's everything they want, which is the opposite of what the kid really goes after.
     
  12. kopetzki

    kopetzki Banned

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2005
    Messages:
    10,590
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville FL
    well in that case, the guy wouldn't be a loser but somebody who's got their shit on straight.
     
  13. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Thank you everyone for your comments and advice. It's hard for me to be okay being alone. I guess I like having a bf as a support group while I'm in college.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Not necessarily true.

    I know if my fiance's parents had their way they wouldn't think of his likes what so ever, and would instead pluck a girl from their synagogue who fit all the things they deem great (i.e. prissy materialistic Jewish girl who worshiped the ground they walked on but had no voice).

    Just because parents are "older" and "wiser" doesn't mean they have it all together.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2009
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I figured, that's why I suggested forcing yourself to be alone for a while. Using a guy as a crutch will never end well for you.
     
  16. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Its funny right before I left for college I was single and was okay with being that way, but then I met another oter didn't want to date, but some how it happened. Of course that ended in failure. :o
     
  17. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    This thread is very for real, I normally don't come to ot for advice, but I thought extra opinions might help. I didn't expect to become his girlfriend after two dates, but the way I was lead on that things were so great and fantastic that it was going to become a relationship later on.
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    You did nothing for him?
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I just looked in your history real quick and realized you changed your name. Found it interesting because I now remember the thread you made just a few months ago where you said you had just ended a relationship and were starting to date that other OTer. So obviously you have a real fear of being alone and try to fill the insecure void with a dude.
     
  20. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    I asked him and he said no. He wanted to wait to do the other stuff until we got to know each other more and continued what he was doing.
     
  21. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2008
    Messages:
    24,979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Pretty much. :o
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    lol male ASD and backward rationalization :bowrofl:
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    :werd:

    Possibly why you got dumped.
     
  24. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Messages:
    18,783
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lansing, MI USA
    :mamoru: Hey, that's not nice! Why pick on parents for succumbing to the spread of aging? Of COURSE they don't have it together if they're getting wider..

    :o
     
  25. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2002
    Messages:
    97,153
    Likes Received:
    69
    Location:
    Republic of Dallas
    Just wait until you've done it for 10-FUCKING YEARS and you'll learn.
     

Share This Page