SRS I know this will sound obvious, but...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Tenma, Sep 20, 2005.

  1. Tenma

    Tenma Hell, you can even call me the Flame Alchemist. Wh

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    ...does anyone else find it funny here in the Asylum that we have the answers to everyone else's problems but our own? I'm not meaning to insult anyone here, but I've only been coming to the Asylum since Sunday when my girlfriend and I had a very tense moment, to say the least. I leapt in and started giving whatever advice I could, in the hopes that my pain might be lessened by it...and in a way, it has been. But I find it funny that I was able to give advice on what might work for someone else's troubles, and it seems like the logical thing to do in those cases, but I can't see a way out of my own problem and I have fear and doubt about the whole thing swirling around me. Has that ever occurred to anyone else?

    I also find it weird to see some OTers from the main board in here; I always assumed that as screwed up in silly ways as we all are, we all at least had it together enough not to need a place like the Asylum. It's comforting to know that there are others here that need help, and it feels like a real community. Thank you all. :hug:
     
  2. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    Well I usually know the answer to my question but I would like another person's perspective on things. Sometimes people bring up good points that I won't have noticed.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Often times people have access to their own inner wisdom, at least, enough to be able to see what's right and correct when applied to someone else's life.

    But in their your own life, you can lack the distance and objectivity to do what you know you *should* do.

    Knowing and doing are two different things.

    Many therapists don't have the perfect house and home. Many therapists often come from very screwed up backgrounds. In part, it's this background that drove them, early on, to become interested in this area. To explore and figure out WHY.

    And if they're good at figuring out the WHYS, then some of them choose to pass that onto other people who come seeking answers.
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    :werd: I think that just about sums it up. It's easy to give recommendations when I, myself, have screwed it up so many times.
     
  5. jshively

    jshively OT Supporter

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    I was just talking to a buddy at lunch and this came up. In every horrid situation I have been in I have seen the warning signs ahead of time but it is hard for a person to seperate themselves from the situation and look at it unobjectively because our emotions get in the way. Plus we can rationalize with ourselves that it is ok and completely different than other situations. Good friends or a 3rd party can easily do that because they have no vested interest in the outcome and should be looking out for your sanity since they are the ones who have to answer the calls and deal with the emotional swings.

    I.E. girl cheated on me. I know the best thing would have been is just dump her and move on. However, at the time I cared for her deeply and thus those feelings got in the way of what I should have done. Eventually I realized I screwed up and made a mistake and should have dumped her all along because no matter what she would have done it again.

    Now I try to sit down and actually write down every feasible aspect of the problem at hand. Let it sit for a day and revisit and review.

    I.E. I have never met a therapist who did not have some drug addiction, alcohol addiction, failed marriages, horrid kids, etc. Of course I know pastors who partied like rock stars before seminary school and cops who were criminals in their younger days.
     
  6. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Actually, I find that helping people here helps me help myself. Because I believe in what I tell people here it's easier to believe in similar concepts when trying to fix my own life. Of late, I don't have much to complain about :) my life is good and I continually strive to improve both it and myself.
     
  7. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    someone once said, when you are looking for advice, you are actually looking for someone to support the descision you have already made. or something to that effect.

    also, easier said than done comes to mind. :o
     
  8. rookie

    rookie New Member

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    :werd: Couldn't have said it better myself
     

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