LGBT i know, he knows i know, how to approach him?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by urbanjanitor101, Apr 16, 2005.

  1. urbanjanitor101

    urbanjanitor101 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,138
    Likes Received:
    5
    ok, this is my first time coming to a O/T or any forum like this (homosexually based), and i need some advice.

    Let me give some background first.

    Being that ive known i was gay practically my whole life, i finally felt comfortable at 16 as a jr in hs telling my closest friends, we'll call them russell and ryan, that im gay. Russell took it very well, and he has proven his trust to me a few times before. ryan, on the other hand, was less trustworthy but i guess i just needed someone to talk to so i told him aswell.

    somewhat expectedly, ryan went and told 2 people who i didnt want knowing. they've both talked to me about it, and they both are fine with it and wont say anything to anyone.

    but ryan is insistant that he tells everyone who'll listen, including his sister. i KIA that his sister, we'll call her Jamie, would probably tell her friends (she is pretty popular.)

    now, for the situation im dealing with now:

    since the begining of this year, theres this freshman ive been eyeing up. he kinda set off my gaydar from day 1. he has alot of gay mannerisms, the flexing wrist, voice inflection, having only female friends, discomfort around other guys, likes shopping, talks fashon with his BFFAE's :)greddy:), etc...

    i was lucky enough to be placed in his gym class for second semester of this year, where i kinda got to know him a little bit. we've never really had a conversation, but we talk a little bit.

    heres where ryan and jamie come into play. jamie, as it turns out, is very close not only with jared, but with all of jared close female friends. i cant pinpoint exactly when he found out, but for a few days after i suspect he heard that i like him and think hes gay, he was really distant to me and i was upset about it.

    today, though, things changed. i went into school and i saw a friend of mine, who asked me where i was going cause i had to go take a test and i was walking and talking loudly cause russell (my friend) was behind me and jared looked up when he saw me he looked right in my eyes and said "hEy (capital = inflection) Roger (im roger)" so i said hey back and i kept walking cause i really had to go take a test. i was so cought off guard by the whole thing because i really wasnt expecting him to even acknolege me.

    i also had gym with him today. we were all standing around the teacher, except for me. i was sitting and theres this other guy in the class, wyatt, who can be annoying and he was standing right next to me with his crotch in my face so i said "hey wyatt, get ur cock outa my face" in a joking way and he moved away and laughed. jared took his place standing a little closer than wyatt was. i looked up at him, he smiled, i smiled back, and we went back to listening to the teacher.

    my issue is that i know hes gay, he knows i know hes gay, but i dont know how to confront him about it. you see, i know that if i was in his position (which i was, 2 years ago as a closeted freshman) and i knew that some guy liked me and thought i was gay, i wouldnt have approached him. if anything, i probably would have told him to step off.

    i really like him and i know that he feels for other men, i just dont know how to approach him about it. i dont often see him a private situation, just in groups where it'd be weird for him to go talk in private with me, given the rumors. i want to at least talk to him about it, so he knows he has my support; and if things go really well, a relationship may even sprout.

    do you guys have any ideas on how i could approach him and make him feel comfortable at the same time?
     
  2. MLH

    MLH New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2005
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    0
    You're in highschool, write him a letter and stick it in his locker.....pull him to the side and say hey lets talk later.....go sit by him at the lunch table....

    and keep the water bottle and sweat rag close in hand for your nervousness....it will be ok....
     
  3. urbanjanitor101

    urbanjanitor101 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,138
    Likes Received:
    5
    the letter seems like a good idea, but i dont know what to write. an annonymous letter?
     
  4. Electric Head

    Electric Head New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2005
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    0
    Depends. If you do it annonymously you're gonna have to tell him face to face eventually...thats very very hard. But if you say its you. Its out there and you'll get a def reaction. Both have their pros and cons. Its all up to you.
    I'm sure you'll make the one thats best for you :hsd:
     
  5. urbanjanitor101

    urbanjanitor101 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,138
    Likes Received:
    5
    the problem is, whats best for me and whats best for him is 2 completely different things. i dont want him to be forced into anything hes not ready for.
     
  6. XxRicanxX

    XxRicanxX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2002
    Messages:
    3,119
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Boca Raton, FL
    Why not get his phone number from someone and give him a call? Just as friends?
     
  7. urbanjanitor101

    urbanjanitor101 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,138
    Likes Received:
    5
    i already have his number, it'd be really weird to call him tho.

    also, hes really shy so it'd probably be one really long akward scilence.
     
  8. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    Come over to my house... I'll show you what to do... :hornball:

    Seriously, though, don't. My boyfriend would cut your nuts off. And as far as your friend goes? Talk to him. Just ask him out to coffee. If that goes well, ask him to dinner. It's not that complicated.

    If you're really that embarrassed, write a letter, tell him how you feel, sign it, and put it in his locker.


    Personally, from what you've said, I'd say that he likes you, you like him, you both know it, and you just need to get on with it and do what comes naturally (if you'll pardon the pun).
     
  9. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    I feel as though Jordan should answer this.
     

Share This Page