SRS I keep going back to my girl (anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Feb 26, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    i've been dating her for a year and a half. Shes my first real girl friend. We were in love but after a few months I saw the other side to her. The mood swings, she lies about stupid things, uses her life problems to excuse her behavior. The fights get so bad that I have to break up with her just to get her to quit her bull shit. The other day I though I was out for good but some how she always lures me back in. The sex is amazing and we have alot in common but shes not the person i'm suppose to be with. What do I do? Has anyone else experienced this problem? I think i'm afraid of being alone, finding someone else, and regreting my choice to let her go. Shes different then most girls because she lives in the country like me. I still have feelings for her. Will they go away? It sounds stupid but this is one of the worst things i've gone through in my life.
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Your feelings won't go away until you completely cut ties, she pretty much knows she has you wrapped around her finger and uses that to her advantage. I'm assuming you are young since its your first real g/f, dump her and move on man don't be afraid to be alone its not that bad you should be living up life right now and having fun with your friends.
     
  3. grabasnickers

    grabasnickers they're *in* the computer?

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    There's many other girls out there that you could be with that are not going to lie to you about random shit. When it's the first one you always feel like you won't find another one just like her, but it always always comes down to letting time pass by. I think every person deserves the best, so why not you too?
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I found this interesting that you would choose to break up rather than find a different way to deal with your differences. It almost sounds like you're using it as a negotiation tool...something which I totally disagree with.

    Sounds like one of my ex g/f. However, I'm not sure how you know she's someone you're not supposed to be with. Is it written down somewhere? I think your expectations about who you should and should NOT be with may be causing you more pain in your relationship....like you might be with her but you're looking for "the one"...meanwhile you might be missing the one that's with you right now.

    yup
    Noone can make the choice for you.....you'll have to decide and yes, you'll have to live with the consequences of your choices. That's the shitty thing about life.....it's not like video games where you can try out different choices and if you fuck up, simply restore a previously saved game. Will you have regrets? Most certainly you will no matter what choice you pick. If you stay, you may regret not dating more or not having the freedom of being single or whatever. If you leave, you may regret missing out on all that hot lovin or her smile or whatever.

    There's no easy answers but then again, if it were easy, it wouldn't be worthwhile. Sometimes the best decision is to not make one and just let things ride.....and enjoy the ride. I call this my gathering data phase. When I'm unsure about a choice, I just need to gather more data so I put off that choice for a later date. And don't be fooled by that voice that says if you put off the choice, you might miss "the right one" when she comes along. Fuck that shit man.

    Yeah feelings change over time but it's not easy and very often it takes a LOT of time and many tears. That's ok....it's normal.
    And you may go through it many more times before you find a woman that you want to settle down with and marry.....maybe not but most people have been where you are and know it's just all part of dating.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its just weird because when shes about to leave I'm happy but then I try to get her back. I treat her like shit. Like I can't make up my mind. And I think part of it is that we live the same country life style. I almost feel like I got to move in the middle of the night just to get out of this because in the end I know it will never work with this woman. Should I just stay in it until I move? The sex is good and she occupies my time
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    UPDATE:

    Things have gone from bad to worse. We both said things that were horrible to eachother yet neither of us can let go. I still call her and she calls me. I think its not that I love her but just the fact that I need someone in my life. I hate being alone and it took me so long to find her. I'm in a town with no oppertunities or anything to do and I'm forced to be here until schools done with in another year. I hate being bored and she fills up my time. I keep thinking about finding the right one even though I'm still young. I'm always worrying about the future. She just hurts me so bad with the fighting but for some reason I can't let go. I almost want her to move just so I'm forced to find someone else. I haven't felt this level of sadness in years. I don't even want to wake up in the morning.
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    try to grow a pair of I believe they are called balls? and move on.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No one pities you. The power to break up with her and move on lies in you, but you obviously don't have the strength to do that. So until you do enjoy being walked all over and miserable.
     
  9. giz

    giz Active Member

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    Quit talking to her. You'll be lonely and miserable for a few weeks, but you'll feel much better in the end.

    You're lying to yourself if you think you're happier with her in your life than without.
     
  10. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Personally, I'd like some specific examples of said bullshit.
     
  11. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You know....I had empathy for you before this post because I've been there, done that. But WTF is this? Your full on into the victim mode here and here's the shocker, YOU AREN'T A FUCKING VICTIM!

    Buck up and live with your choices. By not choosing to leave you are choosing to stay. Deal with that choice or make a different one but whatever you do, stop with this bullshit victim mentality.
     
  12. northw3st

    northw3st New Member

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    your story is exactly like my story from a couple years ago. same problems, same time period, everything.

    her lying was the main problem.

    you need to just drop her. don't call her, dont send her random texts you'll instantly regret, dont try to send 'accidental' texts and say it was sent to the wrong person, dont' do anything.

    you mention that you're afraid of regretting letting her go - that's impossible. once a liar, always a liar (generally). she's never going to change, and if she does, then fate will bring you two back together. as for now, let it go.

    it's crazy....our fights used to get so bad that we would have to break up everytime. EXACTLY the same story.

    i didn't talk to my ex for a year and a half. then she texted me out of nowhere and explained things, and told me not to respond - so i didnt. then she texted me again a few days later and started converstion. the friendship is healthy again. will something happen again? doubt it, but maybe. but for you now, you need to let it go. everyday passes that you dont contact her, you did a great job.

    msn - [email protected] if you want to chat about it. ;) i could have used someone to talk to back then.
     
  13. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    If you're really that crazy about this girl, then maybe what you need to do is learn how to swat her bullshit out of the air without making a big deal about it. She should give up once she realizes it doesn't work.
     
  14. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I'm guessing so. I mean I'm trying alittle harder now that were back together. I realize that she won't change for good only for a little bit. but I just wish I knew why I can't leave. I'm sure she'll freak out again but I'll probably end up breaking up and getting back:wtc: I just get scared its going to last for ever.
     
  15. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    It sounds to me like you already have the answers you're looking for but are just too afraid to actually do anything about it. Break up with her. Theres other girls out there. Yes it will suck at first but you'll get over it.
     
  16. dvrmstrng

    dvrmstrng New Member

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    im currently going through a situation like this, and let me tell you if you dont cut ALL ties with her, and try to move on, youll never have a chance. I still haven't cut the ties with my ex and its ruining my current relationship. Youll thank yourself later down the road
     
  17. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    heh that'll happen
     
  18. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    been through the same thing years ago. i stuck it out for 6 fucking years. stupidist thing i ever did.

    is it going to be easy to leave her and cut all ties? no.

    but learn from me. she wont change. there are better girls out there for you. GET THE FUCK OUT!
     

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