I just started a new relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kittah Pantz, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

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    But I'm about to head off to Pittsburgh for school. :noes: I really like this guy (he's an oter too), but everyone says I'm stupid for starting a relationship when I'm leaving. We have discussed visiting each other from time to time (least once month) and I would be content with that. My question is, has anyone done this and it actually worked? Tell me your stories.

    Oh and I'm new to the vag :wavey:
     
  2. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    never done it. i cant even handle a relationship where i have to drive 45min to see her.

    hopefully you'll get some advice from others in here. in most cases from what ive heard/seen it wont end well.
     
  3. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Oh look, its a fellow DC/MD Crew member :wavey: :mamoru:

    Chib, I know you and I have had our differences in the past, but I think we've both moved on from that, so I'd like you to know that has no impact on the advice I'm about to give. I'm sure other Vag people will agree with what I'm about to say.

    Don't do it for several reasons. The three most prominent are:

    1) You just got out of a long-term serious relationship. It always a good idea to take things slow with the next person you date so you know you're sure you want this, and its not just a rebound. Starting a new relationship a couple weeks before you leave, and a few weeks after you've broken up isn't a good idea.
    2) Going away to college is an amazing experience where you'll learn a lot about yourself. Trust me, you don't want to be tied down to anyone. I'm not saying you'll want to hook up with anyone else, but there are lot of things you'll want to experience and won't be able to if you're in a relationship, or won't be able to experience to their full potential. Have you discussed things someone might get jealous about such as attending parties, study groups, or social events?
    3) Long-distance relationships are hard, a lot of people who have been dating for years can't handle it. Its going to take a huge toll on a couple that just started dating.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2009
  4. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Also, if you don't mind me asking: how much older than you is he?
     
  5. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

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    I was going to Pm you post in here actually. Thanks Cohen for the advice. We are going to try it for a bit, and see how it goes. If doesn't work out so be it.
     
  6. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

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    He's 6 years older

    I am the she and my school runs 16 months straight and I will be back home Dec 2010. I will have breaks in between that
     
  7. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    If I were you I'd bang as many college dudes as possible...but that's just me.
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:

    Except you don't have to bang as many as just have fun being single :mamoru:
     
  9. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    well...I meant the ones who met my ridiculously high standards. :hsugh::o
     
  10. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    Stay single, have fun.

    Long distance is seriously NOT going to work considering the amount of time you've been together. Even if it does, you're just going to be miserable.. if you truly have feelings for this guy, tell him how you feel and that you want to maintain a relationship, but not exclusive.. if not something is bound to go wrong ending up leaving you two on bad terms.
     
  11. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl:
     
  13. Kittah Pantz

    Kittah Pantz New Member

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    Like I said we want to try it out for a bit. I don't feel like I'm going to be held back from my full college experience and I'm not into fucking 5 black guys. :rofl:
     
  14. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    you say that now, but wait until you have jello shots and someone talks you into baby oil wrestling that cute girl with the big tits you've been staring at in class.
     
  15. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Well, keep in mind that you do grow as a person a lot during college too. What you're into now, may not be same afterwards. Remember, this is your first real experience on your own and away from what you're used to, change is almost inevitable. Very few relationships are able to evolve enough to keep up.

    Another thing is, and I mean no offense to him or you, but he is six years older than you. That may not seem like a lot, but it means so much when you're both at such crucial ages in your life. He's experienced a lot more than you have, and he's at a much different place in his life than you are in yours. And again, I mean no offense, but a 25/26 y/o dating a 19/20 y/o is weird, in my honest opinion.

    If you're going to go for it, at least keep it casual until you both see how it works. This keeps your feelings in check and keeps your expectations realistic.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2009
  16. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    do agree, but will still date/fuck one :o

    Nothing like taking a girl out and she's still in hs to make you feel like a perv.
     
  17. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Tell me about it. Back in my cheating days (last year), I was fucking a high school senior :naughty:

    She had a January bday, so it was cool, she was 18 :o
     
  18. Beege

    Beege If I had a dime for every time I was wrong, I'd be

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    Sorry chibi, I vote it is not a good idea at all and this is coming from direct experience. It will just end in jealousy.
     
  19. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :bowdown: i agree with all of this, but i can understand why TS wouldn't want to give it a try.

    imo, if things are meant to be, it'll happen. 16 months isn't that long of time to wait [versus a 4 year traditional degree]. i suggest you stay friends, chat fairly regularly, visit with each other, but don't put a label on the relationship. :hsughno:

    i had a serious relationship LDR relationship [bf lived 1500 miles away] my senior year of college. it was great while it lasted. we actually got to see each other once per month.
     
  20. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I wouldn't recommend it. You just got out of a relationship and I still can't believe you jumped into something so quickly; I know why you did, and that hasn't been mentioned but it plays a huge role in how this relationship will play out imo. I think there are different motives for each of you going into this relationship that will make it not last. if it does, then props. I mean even the age difference can lead someone to be suspect, i've been there and it's never quite the same as when you're with someone your own age; especially considering how young you are. i think you should enjoy going to school and meeting new people honestly
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    .
     
  22. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i started dating my ex just before i moved away to college. i wouldnt say i regret the decision or that i would do it differently if i had to do it all over again, but it was a hard 2 years to be away (and we saw each other frequently within that time) and we broke up multiple times in those 2 years. the thing that i think made it the worst was the fact that i was in school and focused on that, while he was working full time. we were at different places in life and we couldnt always understand where the other was coming from.

    sidenote: i met my husband while i was dating my ex. my husband and i were in college together and hung out constantly. had i been single, we would have been having fun together a lot sooner than we did. bottom line, you never know who you will meet in college. its good to keep your options open
     
  23. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    No one likes the girl who is always like "oh I have a BF" "oh I have to go call my BF" "BF BF BF" etc.
     
  24. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    so what is the backstory here? I feel there is hints being dropped all over this thread and I dunno what the hell is going on.

    BTW, hook up with lots of soccer players...you'll thank me later.
     

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