SRS I just lost my hero...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by dazed, Jun 1, 2005.

  1. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    My brother has been my role model for almost all of my life. Then I learned today that he got kicked out of school. I can't believe this. He's always been so well put together. He told me he was getting A's and B's. We don't have a lot of money, and he wasted about $40,000 of my parent's money. He lived a lie for the last two years of his life. I don't even know what to think.

    I know it might not sound like a big deal, yeah he got kicked out of school, no big deal. But it's huge to me, I can't look at my big brother the same way again...
     
  2. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Everyone makes mistakes and everyone lies. He will have to suffer the consequences later on, if he isn't already. In a way he could still be your hero, but perhaps in a different, less glorious way. Look at it this way, he may be setting an example for YOU of what not to do later on in life.

    People will always let you down and most of the time it's the ones who are closest to you that do so. But rather than feel disappointed, rejected, or angry, learn from them what not to do to others or yourself. Some of the greatest life lessons are learned during the hardest times :hug:
     
  3. dazed

    dazed New Member

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    That's really encouraging, great post, thanks. :)
     
  4. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    some people aren't ready for college straight outta HS to the dismay of many people.

    I wasn't and doing fine as a senior at the age of 25. I have a lot of friends who are 5th years because they fucked around so much during their first two or three years.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Don't take the same pathway as your brother.
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You've just had a big lesson in growing up.

    Your brother is human, all too human. It's time you saw him with open eyes, saw him for the real person he is, tragic and flawed and yet still beautiful like all of us are.

    He made a mistake and no doubt the weight of all those expectations (from you too) drove him to keep that huge secret. Can you imagine the weight of that burden?
    And now, the weight of that public shame and humiliation?

    If you admired him as much as you say you did, he had to have known it. Can you therefore imagine the pressure it put on him to be "perfect"? To live up to the idealized fantasy his little brother had of him?

    Cut him some slack. Don't judge him harshly.

    When you see him, don't be a little shmuck and express disappointment or tell him he fucked up (duh he knows that) as no doubt everyone else in the family has done.

    Instead, tell him that it's ok. Be cool with it.

    Don't be a fucking pussy, instead show him some brotherly love, laugh it off together and get away from home for a while, and go shoot some hoops together.

    It's time you were the bigger man, and you two became brothers. BROTHERS.

    good luck to you.
     
  7. LisaR

    LisaR Awaiting Approval

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    I would hate to be in your brother's shoes. To have to keep up the image of perfection is a huge burden for anyone.
     
  8. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    try to understand. he has been there for you, now he might need you to be there for him. something is probably going on in his life that he is ashamed of, ie depression or whatnot and it just cascades and before you know it, 2 years are down the drain and you have 10k on your credit card and nothing to show for it.

    hes human. we all make mistakes to varying degrees. the biggest indicator of charactor is how you pick up your life and move on after a mistake.
     
  9. One shortcoming against a backdrop of being a wonderful role-model for most of your lifetime? Maybe you should re-examine your expectations if your belief in your heros are so fragile. Not to mention a human role model.
     
  10. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    :werd:

    It's also never too late for your brother to go back and finish school....but only when he is ready to do so, not when others think he should.
     
  11. Elektra

    Elektra New Member

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    Heroes have a huge image to live up to, impossible in fact. People tend to create a certain character around a person and the sad reality is that this image IS THEIR Reality not necessarily the person's. We've all gone through various degrees...How many times have we found ourselves being persuaded to do something for a friend or loved one. Encouraged by a positive remark. Think about it. The larger the amount of pressure that person is under the bigger the lie may be. If the hero realises this, sometimes there is an identity crisis and since they are being loved for what they are doing...they are chasing that image. It's a vicious cycle.

    Most people deserve a second chance, if he is your hero that means he's been there for you in the past. Maybe it's your turn to be there for him. :)
     

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