FRK I just had the WORST sex ever.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by awlewis, Oct 10, 2006.

  1. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    So basically this sucks. She came over and we started fooling around. Now i won't try to blame anything on her but it was just a tad better than throwing a hot dog down a hallway. Ya so there's that. Moving on to the one eyed purple headed yogurt slinger, i think i am allergic to Trojan latex condoms. Almost immediately i went soft. I literally had to start fucking her and put one on with lighting speed. It didn't work. My effort makes the "minute man" look like he just climbed Mt. Everest. Hands down the most unfulfilling and unsatisfactory sex ever. And I am pretty pissed about it. I hate you loose pussy and Trojan, you have taken happiness from me. Fuck you both.

    Oh she was a squirter, which was hot. Though my bed is wet and it wasn't worth it. Last time I dry cleaned my comforter it cost $50. FUCK!

    Oh fuck ya Family Guy is on!!!
     
  2. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    you don't need to dry clean with a squirter....lol just mop it up and deal with it :p...
     
  3. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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  4. Zyzzybalubah

    Zyzzybalubah New Member

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    Family Guy totally makes up for it.

    "Oh sweet, is that Journey? Hell yeah!"
     
  5. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    squirting is great....and as Green Pillow said to me on msn...she has had two kids and she is not loose...and I have never been with a girl that I have found 'loose' so I think you just have a small penis :mamoru:

    Okay, I am not usually mean....so that will be enough for me tonight
     
  6. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    Amen.
     
  7. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    Because she is not loose i must have a small penis...That's fine, I really am not trying to get into a conversation about the size of my penis. Actually since i was only hard for like 30 seconds, then i guess your right. The majority of the time was spent in compact mode. LOL. Oh fuck me i hope tomorrow is a better day.
     
  8. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    Though if you really wanted to see it bubba all you had to do was ask. Call me and let me know when you wanna cross swords :rofl:
     
  9. Soybomb

    Soybomb New Member

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    Bad news man a latex allergy doesn't really mean you'll get soft when you put on a condom, thats a mental thing usually. Certainly not uncommon either.
     
  10. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    lol mine are posted ;)
     
  11. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    I meant mentally allergic. It is kryptonite for sure.
     
  12. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    if you really have an allergy to it, you look ones made of Lamb skin....
     
  13. Sophie

    Sophie New Member

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    Lamb skin.
    *shudders*
     
  14. Mr. Kitty Litter

    Mr. Kitty Litter OT Supporter

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    I hate bad sex. It just messes the rest of your day/night up.
     
  15. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    :hug: Sorry Hun. I never would have let you down!
     
  16. bucherfreund

    bucherfreund Guest

    dude bad sex is the worst. i would rather have no sex at all. i once fucked this guy who was- no shit- hung like an acorn. and it wasn't like he was good at oral or anything else for that matter. i have been told i am fairly tight, but his pathetic cock just kept falling out no matter what position we were in (i guess they say to do it doggystyle if the guy is small, but that didn't even work). finally i just decided to say the sickest shit i could think of just to get him to finish. it worked and he was all, "oh that was the best sex i ever had." i just cringed and thought of my ex. worst hookup ever!
     
  17. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    :rofl: That's pretty bad, hopefully better next time!
     
  18. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    Oh i know :naughty:
     
  19. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    You cringed and thought of your ex!! LOL oh snap. Ya, I definately would have rather just not had sex last night.

    And Bubba don't even start with any acorn cock comments, it's not even like that.
     
  20. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    I just dont understand how women get loose! .. maybe she was just really wet? i dont know.. someone please edu on how women become loose.
     
  21. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Enough stretching that eventually it's not as tight around the package? I dunno, that's what I always thought happened. I could be misinformed, though.
     
  22. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    well that makes sense...but the muscles can be strengthened and tightened again. I mean if that was the case, after a woman gave birth, she would be REALLY loose...but it doesn't happen.

    I guess loose might be the wrong word...maybe it is more that the woman has a WEAK pussy
     
  23. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    im pretty sure 2 babies would have done some damage lol... I dont know?!?! WHITECOUCH AM I LOOSE?!?!


    lol yeah i think WEAK would be a good word..
     
  24. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I've been doing Kegels and the guys say :bigthumb: . My little beast was 10 lbs with a big head, so you'd think I'd be "roomy" :mamoru: But that doesn't seem to be the case :naughty:
     
  25. Trina

    Trina New Member

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    I had two kids in the span of 16 months. My first one was nearly 9lbs and I had a 4th degree tear from him coming out (worst kind of tear to have). Doc sewed me up pretty good and I didn't lose much tightness.

    Second kid wasn't quite as big and only had a 2nd degree tear with him. Doc did a good job sewing that up too. Yes, I'm a little roomier than before I had kids, but I get no complaints from the hubby at all. :big grin:
     

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