SRS I just had the most horrific call v. SO

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Tensai81, Aug 23, 2005.

  1. Tensai81

    Tensai81 OT Supporter

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    I just spent an hour on the phone with my SO of over 2 years. It turns out that last thrusday she was on classmates.com looking through her old high school. From what I gathered between her unconsolable sobs is that (what I think, I don't know) is her ex b/f committed suicide on her birthday last year ( (May 2004) over his ex who left him for another man :dunno: that's pretty much the extent I got out of her. She's not really talking to anyone about this, even her parents. She finally broke down tonight after heavy drinking (a way that I get most of the deep information from her) and "couldn't understand why he did it" and "I could have done something" I did my normal crisis management with "you didn't know" "there's nothing else you could have done" and "it's not your fault" I've done all I can right now, she's apparently sleeping (or still crying her eyes out over this breakthru (finally :hs: ) ) Has anyone on OT experienced this before? and what is/should be my next step :hs: I really appriciate this guys (and scattered gal) OT has always come through for me in the past


    edit: just so you know, my job has taken me 1,200 miles away to NJ and she's in FL so I can't just run over there and comfort her :hs: even though she says she doesn't want to see me
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well suicide is quite common amongst gay people(not being accepted) and God knows what. Anyway i would give her a call, ask her how she is feeling, and that it was really low of him to commmit suicide on your birthday and that he probably did that just to make her feel bad. And that she must be strong and have the courage to move on, and that its a thing of the past, that she shouldn't blame herself, and move on with her life.
     
  3. ef

    ef New Member

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    no offense but what do gay people have to do with the topic? :dunno:
    and I don't think she thought it was her fault, it wasn't her that left him for a different girl.. :o
     
  4. Tensai81

    Tensai81 OT Supporter

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    :hs: she thinks it's her fault like most survivors of suicides because she left a note for him on the web site. She said "it was just silly and if I had only known I could have left him a message to call me" she blames herself for "not doing anything" I think what upset her most is the fact that no one told her and she had to find out way later than she should have. This was her first "serious" relationship besides me and it lasted for 4 years. So I can't fault her for being upset, I never met the guy so I don't want to seem apathic, but I still feel empathic for her having lost someone that was close to her
     
  5. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    sorry to hear man. i guess the only real thing you can do is make sure she knows your there for her.
     
  6. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    one person cannot be blamed for another's suicide.

    Feel bad? sure.. of course.. everyone who probably knows him feels bad, but there isn't really anything more she coulda done. He probbly had close friends who also should have seen the warning signs as people often talk about suicide before doing it.
     

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