This was my first happy christmas in 3 years (since my Mom died). I feel happy yet so guilty, because I spent the entire dad (noon to 8pm) with my Dad and his side of the family. I'm so guilty because this never would have happened if my Mom didn't die. I don't know how to deal with these feelings and it sucks! My Mom never said I couldn't have anything to do with my dad's family (other then his parents) but now I am closer with them then I am with most of my Mom's side of the house. I can't imagine my life without them now, and I feel so guilty for it when I get happy about it. I would almost trade having happiness that I have with them to have my Mom back. I know it's not possible, but I just can't stop thinking that if it wasn't for my Mom dying there's a great chance I wouldn't have had the opportunity to re-connect with them and be as close as I am with them.