SRS i just found razor blade cuts on my brothers arms

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by killerkunfu, Nov 29, 2008.

  1. killerkunfu

    killerkunfu New Member

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    hi everyone. im new to offtopic but ive come across a situation that is hard for me to handle and im not quite sure how to react.

    my brother is 16 and has adhd. some of the things he does are a little off but he is a smart boy and does well in school. he has social problems at school and even in the home life sometimes, although he is more comfortable at home. he has one steady friend who is weird like him but pretty normal. but lately he has been hanging out with a few kids at school that are quite "emo". there is this one kid he invited over just last week who has paper clip chains hanging from his lip and all these crazy [ not your regular kind of piercings] and duck tape all over his shoes. my brother alerted my mother that the kid was gay but that he was okay with it and was perfectly fine with hanging out with him. my mother's twin brother is gay and we have accepted it and have no problem with gay people. i even support gay rights 100% because seperate is never equal. but when its your own brother it kind of puts up a red flag. no one wants their brother to be gay. i really dont think he is because he has had two girlfriends in the past. but it still worries me cuz he has some gay tendencies but nothing major. if he ever happened to be gay it would be upsetting but i would come to terms with it. aside from that my mother noticed the kid had deep cuts all over his arms. probably a good 10 on each arm. and that is even more alarming. my brother and i have dual sinks in the bathroom and this morning i opened the door to go brush my teeth and caught him cutting himself with the razor. i completely panicked and took the razor and said what are you doing to yourself? why are you doing that? i was shocked cuz he hates blood and gets all squimish about it so it was very out of character for him. i started crying and he kept saying it will remind me of how worthless life is and that there is no point in living because nothing is exciting. nothing is fun. hes been seeing a counselor. but today was the first time that something like this happened that was so extreme. im really afraid for him and terrified that i'll come home one day and he'll have gone further than just cutting his arms. this afternoon his latest news is that his gay friend thinks hes hot but that he would never cheat on his boyfriend. its just really upsetting and disturbing to hear all this. hes already following the kids actions of cutting himself. hes a sweet kid and he has a good heart. his girlfriend broke up with him 2 months ago and i think this is the main reason why he is acting like this. he doesnt care anymore. but ive been broken up with in much more serious relationships but i would never go to such extreme lengths as cutting myself or saying life wasnt worth it anymore. he says it with such seriousness and sincerity. its so heartwrenching to hear him say such things.

    please feel free to give me advice on the right way to go about this?

    im terrified. i feel like its my fault for not being home all the time to hang out with him. im always out with my friends. never home. and even when i am, i keep to myself. and maybe he wouldnt of been so lonely and have led to this if i paid more attention to him or played video games with him when he asked me to all the time. i want to talk to him about it but i dont want to say anything to him that would make him go further into that direction or put him off. i also dont know if i should say anything in case he is looking for that kind of reaction. i wouldnt want to encourage that.

    please help me out.
     
  2. MR. Marti

    MR. Marti New Member

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    bring it to someones attention. make a point of it with him and go from there. best of luck.
     
  3. LiqwudIce

    LiqwudIce New Member

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    I agree with Marti. Bring it up with the parents. I wouldn't just yell at the kid because that would just make him more resistant to your efforts to help.
     
  4. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    It's not your fault. And the relationship isn't the reason this is happening. It may have triggered it, but whatever is under the surface was already present and now is exposed.

    Becareful how you proceed here. Cutting is often connected to a great deal of shame, and depression.

    Here is more information that you should read:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-injury
     
  5. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    my cousin is here and he used to cute himself so i will hve him tlk to u ok well 1st cuttimg is normaly not suicidale it is an outlet for making urself feel something many people who cut feel empty inside and use cuttin as a way to feel something even if it is oain it it better then feeling empty.i started cutting because i have manic depression from amny problems with family and other stres related thing tht i dont need to go into detail about. but the best thing u should do for ur brother is look out for him but dont bug him about it. if anything he is suffering threw depression like me and needs a way to make himself feel better. cutting is almost like a quick high were when u cut ur body realeses blod and other internal neurotransmitters and indorphines tht make the pain feel good and for an instant u feel human and normal thts y i cut cause i felt empty alone and i feel very dark inside and cutting is not a fashion state ment it is a way for kids with problems to vent and feel normal. so there is not much u can do except try to be there for him but dont push hard and he is most likely not suicidal so u shouldnt worry to much because it is just away for him to survive if u take tht away from him and he doesnt hve anoither outlet to surres his pain he might actualy try to commite suiceide i know i hve tried beacuse of tht same reason.
     
  6. Sorry to hear about your brother. :( I'd definitely tell your mom or someone what you saw this morning and talk about it with him just you and him.

    If he is gay, ya it might be "bad" at first but it's really not the end of the world. (I'm gay)

    As for his friend and he, if he is fairly open I'd maybe ask if they ever fool around or anything or if he is actually gay himself. To me it'd make sense because coming out is a hard thing to do and very painful. Maybe he's trying to get around it by cutting/drugs/suicide.
     
  7. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    if he's seeing a counselor, try and see if you can go into one of his sessions with him so you all can discuss this.
    If your mom is rational and won't get hot headed, I'd tell her, but if she's likely to freak out, I think someone else should tell her, like his counselor.
    being that his scars were displayed, he hangs out with the people he hangs out with and told you the things he's said, most likely he wants help; he just doesn't know how to go about it.

    as an ex cutter, you never want people to know about that part of your life unless you want help. so try to help him. talk to him if that doesn't get anywhere, tell your mom
     
  8. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    my cousin wrote that
     
  9. killerkunfu

    killerkunfu New Member

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    thank you.
     

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