Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Barbie™, Oct 17, 2007.
I don't know what to do or how to bring it up to him.
I don't like it.
never heard of collarme i think honestly u just have to tell him flat out u dont like it if my gf found something like that out i would want her to tell me right away
I mean I knew he had whips and stuff like that, but he told me it was because an ex of his liked it.
He hasn't ever submitted me to doing anything like this, but the fact that he has this profile and is actively looking for "submissives"... bothers me.
I found it, literally 15 minutes ago. I don't know what to do, or how to bring it up.
First of all relax, he might not have updated that website in a very long time, don't take virtual stuff like the internet seriously, confront him with what you've found , and ask him what's the meaning of it. Don't become a victim of the paranoid too soon, there might be a feasonable explanation for it.
I did, but then I realized that the last time he logged in was October 15th, two days ago.
We've had a conversation about his toys that he has. He said he had them because an ex of his was really into it. I don't know if he's afraid to admit it to me or what? I just, I don't know what i'd say to him right now.
Again relax, he might logged in a while ago but was too lazy to change his profile, when is he coming back? You should ask him about this stuff as soon as possible.
Yeah, but he lied to me. He told me it wasn't his thing, just one of his exes was into it. He's supposed to call me later tonight. I don't see him until next weekend.
I will ask him about it as soon as I can.
I know i'm being unreasonable right now, but so many things are jumbling around in my head.
Ok you know, he hasn't done any of that stuff with you, which could indeed mean he isn't into it, also a very important thing to me is wether he asked you to do these kind of things, i mean if he activly asked you to do BDSM it would mean that he definitly is into this stuff, and even if he is into that kind of stuff its not a crime to do kinky stuff.Also when i look at the website its a myspace kind of thing, he might still have old friends that he talks to from the time before he met you, what's left might be entirelly for chatting purposes, you might be totally overexaggerating on whats happening here, having a profile like that doesn't automatically mean that he's doing bad stuff around your back, yes he has some explaining to do, what i would do if i where you is take a 1,5 hour walk outside ,and try to relax, once you are relaxed and when he comes home, ask him about it.
Thanks a lot
I think I am overreacting, but I don't know what to say. I am going to go work out around 8pm so, that'll be some stress relief.
Ask him about it
Find out if he is really into that stuff
If it bothers you too much, break up with him
Being sexually compatible is a huge factor for success in a relationship.
See, we've already talked about it. He claims that his ex got him into it and he could take it or leave it, which i've noticed. He has some toys, which he's shown me but they were bought on 7-15-07, I noticed the receipt, but I don't think he knows that I know that.
That doesn't bother me.. it doesn't even bother me that he has an account [to a point] but the fact that he's actively seeking submissive people.
Not that he's going to find any in his area, but come on.
It may not be the most mature thing to do, but respond to his profile, and see what happens. Then you will know the real truth. Not what he decides to tell you. Sorry I guess im just not as trusting. If nothing happens then you dont have to worry, and if he responds you will know what he is really like.
why were YOU on there?
1) you were looking for some fun
2) you don't trust him and were looking for him
either way, your relationship doesn't seem stable.
I think the best thing you could do is go out and get some nasty leather outfit, something very bold, take it home and put it on.
Get out his whips and stuff, and then call him into the bedroom.
Give him what he seeks, and then, as soon as you're done having wild leather sex tell him what you found and get his reasons. Then let him know that everything he needs is right at home with you. If he can just be honest.
If that doesn't work, then he needs to go.
try posting this in FS and see what you get.
as it is, i'm going to go with this:
he likes it, is embarrassed to bring it up with you for whatever reason (maybe he's afraid of how you'll react) and so he indulges in this.
in all honesty, he could very well be looking for someone but not actually looking (as in, just liking to know he could get someone to play with if it came down to it.
or he could be actively looking for someone to play with but not intending to do anything sexual (that does happen with these sorts of things)
or it could be worse.
either way, i think the best thing to do would just be to bring it up in a non accusatory way and hug it out.
Did you go snooping? How did you run across this?
If you bring it up when you're upset, he's going to feel cornered and on the defensive. Sleep on it and determine what you really think about it when the dust has settled. Identify your key concerns. Then talk to him about it.
Actually I told one of my good gal friends and she asked to see it so I showed her... about a half hour later she goes "I hope you don't hate me for this but I made an account and messaged him"
I about went through the roof. NOW I can't confront him about it for a while, ugh.
I asked what she wrote to him and she said "I asked him if he was still looking for a submissive partner"
I suppose we'll see
Actually I was bored and I googled my screenames for fun and decided to do his. I didn't expect to find anything, let alone this.
I wasn't looking for some "fun" nor was I looking for anything incriminating to use against him, I was simply doing it out of boredom.... now I wish I hadn't.
I just visualized it all in my head. We've talked about it before and he knows i'm not really into it, but i'm not opposed to some light play. He has assured me that he's not that into it, so he's okay without it.
I am just going to let it roll off my shoulders, I suppose.
I really like the way you're looking at it. Thanks .
Nah, look about 3 posts above.
I'm going to have some interesting dreams tonight.
Don't just let it slide , have you confronted him with it yet?