SRS I just ended a 3yr, not so healthy, relationship

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cascade85, Mar 3, 2008.

  1. cascade85

    cascade85 New Member

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    Christ, where to begin.... Either people change or they really don't show their true colors till way later in a relationship. He was almost like a Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde type. So sweet and giving and caring one minute and the next throwing and breaking your shit and all apologetic 5 min later. Compulsive liar btw, he always said that it was easier for him to spout out a lie than to tell me the truth and he was "trying to work on it". That was a quote I got used to hearing alot. Not anymore, this time im done with the yelling the man-handling and the destroying my shit that I paid for. Not to mention we have a little one who I don't want to be around that sort of environment. I am free. I can breathe again, no longer on the verge of panic attack or 1 day away from having to take happy pills the rest of my life. I'm in school and I have a good job but what else do I do? Feedback please.
     
  2. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    Make some friends in school and start going out with them.
     
  3. M.E.

    M.E. New Member

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    Get back with him...quitter.
     
  4. cascade85

    cascade85 New Member

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    That's exactly what he said.
     
  5. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    Think you're perfect?
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Doubtless you're far from perfect, but you're clearly tired of this relationship.
    I would guess he's probably pretty tired of you too.

    So, let's just call it quits all around, and move on to bigger better things. Hopefully you can learn from this.

    That it takes 2 people to make a "not so healthy" relationship as you describe it, and you figure out what ills you contributed.

    And then go on and not make those mistakes again.
     
  7. Cherry Red

    Cherry Red OT Supporter

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    IMO the guy sounds like a sociopath (sp?).
    I was once in a similar relationship, it is hard to move on especially when there are kids involved. Do the best you can to stay focused on "bettering" yourself and things will work themselves out.
     
  8. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    You people have to understand this guy isn't what she makes him out to be.. I mean, you have to understand this is a completely bias opinion of this guy.
     
  9. cascade85

    cascade85 New Member

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    OK, how about i give you two scenarios and you can judge for yourself, i went to stay at my mom's because he was yelling obscene things to me because i told him not to leave the wet towel on top of my clean clothes (in front of our son) after he cooled down he asked me to come back i told him i would be back in the morning since our son was already in bed. He got angry with me and demanded i come home now. Since i said no im staying at my mothers till morning he decided if i didn't show up he would tear up my clothes. He ruined 3 of my blouses and apologized later for it of course and added im lucky he didn't throw them in the garbage. Then there was the time he smashed the screen on my iphone because I told him I had an assigned partner in one of my college classes whom I e-mailed how we were going to split up the work (guy partner btw) when he knew it was a guy he told me to drop the class and i refused. So he grabbed my iphone and smashed it about 3 or 4 times on the counter. Then he almost smashed my laptop but I begged him not to because i hadn't even finished paying on it. Should I go on???
     
  10. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Metallic Rule:

    1: Never Go Back
    2: He hasn't changed
    3: You'll get hurt some more.

    If you can stick with this rule you'll do ok, however it's important you realize that birds of a feather do flock together. So for whatever finger you point at him you have three pointing back at you. Take this time away from this relationship (Congrats by the way....for ending it) -- and work on yourself, find out where 'you' went wrong too. It always takes two, even if all you did was stay too long. Look at yourself, that way you don't repeat the process in a different format but with a similar patter.
     
  11. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    So, um, do you know this couple personally?
     

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