i just can't seem to do it

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by alovesopure, Feb 23, 2007.

  1. alovesopure

    alovesopure New Member

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    my ex and i have been broken up for a little while now...(together for 3 yrs) it was EXTREMELY hard at first, (he had been lying about a lot of things for the last year or so, he didnt treat me with any respect anymore) because i think i held on so long thinking i could make things better. but its been a few months and im doing a lot better. i have a full time job now which i enjoy and im going back to school.

    i still see him and try to be friends, and im not nearly as jealous as i was, and i don't accuse him anymore, but i can't seem to start dating again. ive had guys show interest in me, we go out, and i try to make something happen, but i just can't. i start to get interested..and its like i hit a stop sign. i cant have any relationships (sexual or emotional) with anybody. i keep telling myself that their all going to be like him, their all going to cheat and hurt me. so i don't even bother. :dunno:

    it seems like im never going to meet anybody thats going to just amaze me, i know it takes time, im willing to wait. but i NEED to get over him completely. i want to be with other people. i want to start a new life without needing him (or feeling like i need him)

    idk im rambling..but i need to get over the fact that he hurt me and i dont need him. i KNOW i can do better...but my mind is overpowering that, i guess :wtc:

    i just need mr right to come along... lol
     
  2. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    you need to stop talking to him, cut off all contact.

    /thread
     
  3. Lindsay Loo

    Lindsay Loo ミ★ Mikel's POZ Partner ミ★

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    this is true. i was also in a sick sick 3 year relationship. the guy was a total POS. i couldnt get over him until we cut all ties. now im engaged and happy. things can turn around. its when you stop trying to get something that you get something. just be patient and stop talking to him. i promise it gets better honey.
     
  4. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    I agree with what's been said, and can attest to it myself. The second you walk away and cut off all contact is the second you take all the power back. You can only go up and can only get better. Then it will get to a point where even if you DO see him or something, it won't matter anymore. You'll be over it, done with it, and he will mean absolutely nothing to you. In the meantime you'll grow as a person and when someone that is right for you comes along, you'll be able to be with them and allow yourself to be happy for once.

    I know this all through experience, and though it doesn't mean much until you go through it yourself...just hang on, leave him in the past, and everything will work itself out.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    are you still sleeping with him?
     
  6. alovesopure

    alovesopure New Member

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    every once and awhile... i know.. horrible :ugh:
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Umm, there's your answer. He's using you and you know it. The only way you are ever going to move on is if you cut all ties with him for a long time. Yes, it'll be hard, but you'll be amazed how after not seeing/speaking to him for a few months you'll forget all about your feelings for him.

    I've said before, after I dated a guy for 2 years and I broke up with him (because for the past few months prior he had been treating me like crap-I later found out he'd been cheating on me that whole time) I couldn't fathom how I would move on. However, I cut off all contact with him and even though I never really "dated" anyone for at least a year the whole out of sight out of mind thing was what got me out of thinking about him and helped me move on and date other guys and learn to trust that not all of them are pricks.

    You are an idiot if you keep sleeping with him let alone even giving him the time of day.
     
  8. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    If I was a girl I would drive down to florida and slap you.:mamoru:

    Cut EVERY tie you have to him possible.
    Delete phone number, email, myspace, facebook, throw away anything that might have his name/addy/personal information written down and move on.
    You do not need to let him go. You have nothing that will jeopardize your life if you don't let him go. If you needed to let him go you wouldn't have even posted this thread. Its like what do you do when you have a bill due? Do you sit around (when you have the money) wow I need to pay this bill off and continue to dwell on it? No you just pay it off and go on. You have the ability to let go of him so why not just do it? Right now he is using you for a piece of ass every once and a while when he can't get it from a club or whatever... You are his backup girl. Don't let him do that just say next time he calls "I cannot talk to you for a while I'm needing to clear some things up in my head." because you have no reason to dwell on him. Guess what there are plenty of guys out there and chances are if you look hard enough you will find another guy a better guy.
     

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