SRS I just cant motivate myself (semi-long)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by kaitagsd, Jul 8, 2007.

  1. kaitagsd

    kaitagsd New Member

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    Probably not as big a problem as some of you guys, but basically I just cant seem to motivate myself to change, to find a job, to learn some skills.

    Background:

    I've been like this for a good few years already - im going on to university year one in september, which is a good thing. Whats killing me is Im sleeping late, waking up late, on the computer 10 hours a day, playing random games, chatting with friends, on forums, etc. I've been trying to find a job since early april (Im 17 y.o) but never got anything stable. the main problem comes in - my personality. Im somewhat a combination of being irresponsible, greedy, selfish, introverted, lazy, unconfident, depressed, and boring.

    Goals:

    Okay, so theres a girl I've liked for 3 years... shes chased after by most guys who meet her, and for a time I felt stupid to just go after her with other guys like a rat race. But lifes all about making yourself happy, getting the things you want the most - so I've decided to change myself dramatically this summer.

    Im short, skinny, boring, not rich, and talent/skill-less. Probably above average looks, but my personality kills it off. Im only good at math/science crap, and lots of random bits of information. Im not good at sports (maybe only badminton), gaming, music, or whatever; had one gf, havent been laid (dont really care about sex for now). I've decided to get a job, workout, play sports, make new friends, etc. - all in hopes of becoming more extroverted, manly, humorous, desirable, etc. I'm doing this for that girl i like, and to become a better person during a new stage in life - University.


    Problem:


    I keep telling myself i'll change tomorrow, but it never happens. All I do is rant to my friends about how slow my life is progressing. i wish i could just tell myself to "shut the fuck up and do it", but I cant. Whats stopping me? Myself.
     
  2. SpeedsterZ28

    SpeedsterZ28 OT Supporter

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    Dude...I know just how you feel. I've been in situations where I felt I had no way of getting myself started on something I wanted to accomplish.

    The best thing to do is begin setting specific goals. Short-term and Long-term. Make a list of things you want to accomplish. Set a deadline for accomplishing them. Devise a plan on how you will accomplish them from now until your deadline. And setup a method of tracking your progress.

    Good luck! Like I said, I know how hard it is to get yourself going sometimes, so it's not easy, but once you start on the path to your goals, and start meeting some of them, it'd addicting and you'll love it.
     
  3. Trigger Happy

    Trigger Happy OT Supporter

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    lol your post isn't a long one, and no matter what the issue is, if you want to ask something or just vent then well here is the place to do it. everyone is friendly in here and they are more than happy to chat lol.

    there are many things that come along in life and some of them will just happen for you and others / majourity of them, you will have to work towards because in the end of the day nobody is going to go out and do them for you.

    i'm not trying to sound like i am been rude or picky but you are only 17, the world is your playground and all you want to do is go out and have a blast of a time. the thing is that you have to know when it is time for fun and when it isn't, there is a line. but because you are so young you just need the time to be yourself and do things that you want to. and maybe you would have already realised that there are ways to act in different places. you just have to work out when the right places are to do and say things.

    and it is good to see that you are going to university, (tho i don't understand if you are there already or you will be there at the end of the year lol). but that is something that i never did, and i don't think i will ever do. i finished school when i was 17 and didn't have a clue what it was that i wanted to do. so yeah i didn't do too much for two years other than just work and it took me two years to grow up and mature to be ready to move on. i was happy working and getting a pay check every week. i didn't care what happened as long as i had money to do whatever i wanted with lol. then i decided that i wanted to do a trade and now i am in the process of becomming an electrican.

    but as to what you are up to then well to me this is normal but you have to try and set goals and plan your days a bit better i think instead of spending it how you are lol. it's hard to find a job and specially one that you like and you enjoy going to work. but maybe you might care what you do aslong as you are getting paid.

    the main problem comes in - my personality. Im somewhat a combination of being irresponsible, greedy, selfish, introverted, lazy, unconfident, depressed, and boring.

    all the things that you said above, are all things of been your age i believe, and when you start to grow up then you will realise that there is a time and a place for everything.

    in regards to your goals, then you need to make short term goals and long term goals, if you want to post them in here and people can tell you what they think of them or try to help you with them. and if you decide that you are going to do something or you want to do something, no matter what you need to stick to it. otherwise it is never going to happen. and if you never go after things that you want in life then you will never get them and then you will always be regretting things. so go out and do them while you are young and do things that you want to. because if you don't do them for yourself then nobody else is going to achieve them for you.

    you are who you are and you shouldn't have to change who you are to win someone over, but if you want to be healthier and work out and stuff like that then stick to it, you won't notice changes over night or right away but over time you will feel so much better, and then you will start to notice a change. you can't make yourself grow up any quicker. but when you mature all of these things will come naturally for you.

    don't put things off for tommorrow, you know the saying, tommorrow never comes. if you are going to do something then do it. otherwise it will never happen. what if there was something that you wanted to do, and something happened and then you could never do it at all. all that time you had to yourself thinking aww i will just do it tommorrow, think about how many times you could have been doing something that you wanted to instead of been inside on the computer or something like that?

    and by makings new friends and stuff like that and working out and growing up, who knows you might have a flock of women after you, and who knows they might even be better than her. but who knows? if you don't do anything you will never know will you?

    i don't know if i made sense, but maybe post something again if you read back here :wiggle:
     
  4. dura

    dura Guest

    I was pretty much the same as you, and the posters above covered the meat and potatoes of what you should be looking at.

    However, you are too sedentary. 10 hours is entirely too long. Get up in the morning and go for a lengthy jog. When you get yourself into shape, you'll feel 10x better.
     
  5. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    Nun-chuck skills,bow hunting skills, hacking skills ... and the bitches will be flocking. :o

    Anyways, I've had the same problem myself and still do to some degree but I finally feel I'm making some headway now. Basically you have to realize that sitting there and complaining about your life will never get you anywhere. You need to start doing something about it, and to start NOW not tomorrow, not next week. The very definition of insanity is to keep on doing the same thing and to expect a different outcome.

    For me the hardest thing is taking that first step. However once you take that first step, you'll start to feel good, that finally things are moving along towards your goals. As you gain momentum it will become easier and easier. The key though is to not give up once you stumble.

    I don't know what else to say, but I think this is a good starting point. :hs: Good luck.

    Oh, and don't do all this for that girl you like, because if things don't work out with her you're likely to just drop everything. You said you're greedy, well then act like it and do all this for yourself, not for someone else.
     
  6. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    It's amazing how different you can feel about yourself when you take care of yourself. Definately think about running in the morning (before you eat breakfast) and try to eat healthier.

    Diet and Exercise can really make you feel a lot more confident in yourself, and it may bring you out of your small personality or self-conscious ways.


    Another thing to look for: a hobby.

    Get away from the computer! It's not something you need. Jump on every once in a while and play a game maybe once a week or so, but definately cut it down from 60-70 hours a week to about 2-4 hours a week. What do you do with the rest of that time? Figure it out yourself ^.^


    I started college last year. It was my first year and I was planning on changing myself a bit. I've always wanted to play guitar but I never got myself up to playing. About 4 weeks into school, I met this girl who played guitar and violin and was amazing. I finally decided i would buy a guitar and have her teach me some basics. Let me tell you, a guitar can really change who you are. I have been so much happier after I learned how to play. It's only been about 10 months of playing, and I'm starting to get pretty decent at it. I started out not knowing a thing about music theory, and now I know enough to keep myself on terms with people who have had music in their life their entire time.



    But don't worry about these things too much. Once you get to school, you will find there's not a lot of time for the things you used to do. If you keep at your school work and socialize with any new friends, you will dramatically cut down your time on a computer. I went from about 70-80 hours a week of computer time down to about a 2-3 hours a week (Minus the 8 hours a day I spend in front of a computer for work... oh well not the greatest example.)

    Don't get ahead of yourself. Calm down, take life as it comes. If you know there is something you WANT to do, just do it. That's all that matters.
     
  7. CrackityJones

    CrackityJones OT Supporter

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    start working out. /thread
     

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