SRS I hurt a person who I cared for as a friend...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Vay, Oct 22, 2005.

  1. Vay

    Vay New Member

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    I hurt a person that I thought was a good friend. She seem to started to like me more then a friend, but I did not feel the same way. When I told her I only wanted to be friends she started to cry, and she will not let me talk to her at all for a couple of days. Now I do not know what to do and it just sucks :(

    How do I get her back as a friend? :wtc:
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Look vay i think you need to realise that guy + girl = never friends. The counter party always wants something more, you can't have her as a friend especially now that she made clear that she wanted something more. Either you give her that extra special kind of love that shows that you want more then just being friends, or break off ties completely.

    View it from her shoes, imagine you love a person, want to get married,date hang out and have children with, and that person says i just want to be friends.

    It rips a person to pieces.
     
  3. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    :) I agree with you Darketernal. But I also think that men and women can be very good friends (buddies), although at times in some relationships it is difficult to draw the line and someone invariably gets hurt.
     
  4. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Well Vay, sorry dude, but after that, you can't have her as a friend. I know it sucks to lose a friend but you did the right thing. It would have been wrong to go ahead and pretend you liked her just to keep her. And it also would've hurt her more in the future. By doing this, you made it clear that a friendship is all you want and that's that. Nobody ever said doing the right thing was easy, but it's what seperates good people from scumbags.

    I think that girls and guys can be awesome friends. It's just that early in the frienship, it has to be made clear that friends is what you are and friends is all you'll ever be. For me, if I ever sense that one of my female friends is becoming attracted to me and I don't feel the same way, I let her know in a very subtle way so as to not go further with that.
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Give her time. You also need to go against your man instincts of always trying to "fix things". There is nothing you can do and you did absolutely nothing wrong by telling her that you are just friends. Give her time. If she can never come to grips with this and she stops being your friend, then there is nothing you can or should do. You told her you are friends, she knows you are there as a true friend, the rest depends on her. Maybe she personally can't get over it, but if that is the case, you have done all that you can realisticaly do.
     
  6. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    I think it's absolute bullshit that guys and girls can't be friends. But the topic has been raised enough here and I won't go into it.

    You did the right thing. I hope you broke the news to her delicately. I'm sure some of us have been in her shoes and it's almost *always* best to know rather then to not.

    You just need to give her space now. It sounds like she was pretty infatuated with you and it may take her some time to supress those emotions. Don't pressure her, and above all, don't give her conflicting information now because she'll grasp at every detail like it's a sign you've changed your mind.

    Be diplomatic and caring, just like a real friend should. She'll come around.
     
  7. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

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    my best friend is a guy so it is possible for two people of opposite sexes to be friends without wanting more. just try and talk to her and work something out. if it won't happen then you're pretty much SOL. i'm sorry to hear that tho. i've had relationships like that and the other person appoached me with stronger feelings and it just ruined everything. she may get over it in time. it would be better to have you as a friend than nothing at all.
     
  8. Malghanim

    Malghanim My wee wee has been Stricken with Rigor Mortis

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    you always have a fine line in these relationships.. but when that line gets blurry things get messy.. and its hard to get back to things as they were.. and its pretty much up to her to see how she wants to handle this.. but good luck
     
  9. AshLee

    AshLee New Member

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    there is noway better to say that then how u just did.
     
  10. AshLee

    AshLee New Member

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    my best friend is also a guy..i love him to death and would do anything for him in a heartbeat. i have had people sometimes say they think he likes me.. but you know..he has never said a word to me about it. and i think they just misinterpret our friendship..when my heart gets broken i call him..as he does with girls and me. we go to the mall. we hang out. never touched each other in a sexual way...we just naturally click awesome as friends. we never have those awkward silences and im not going to do anything to ever mess it up..he is my rock as far as friends go.
     
  11. Budha

    Budha Guest

    I'm in college and i'm friends with a TON of girls. I think what you have to do to make sure you dont develop feelings for them is just to be careful you dont spend too much time together. Like I usually only hang otu w/ them at parties or while we are drinking, but it stops after that. I mean occasional things are cool, but when it becomes really consistant, I think one or the other will develop feelings, unless the girl is just an ugly bitch.
     

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