I haven't liked any of the girls I've gotten with

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Feb 16, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    At least, I haven't liked them more than as friends. I was attracted to them and enjoyed their company once in a while (and more often their physical asssets), except now. I like the girl I'm with now. I think the fact that I finally like someone like that is making me act different than usual. I feel dirty, like I'm going to turn into one of those clingy guys I see complaining about how their girlfriends don't call them enough. Most of all I feel a bit confused at the moment. I'm going to add to this later when I've thought it out a bit more.

    Fire extinguisher standing by.
     
  2. psycospyder

    psycospyder New Member

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    I wish you the best of luck my friend
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Here's what's going on. She's coming up to see me in person a couple days later than expected. She asked me if it was okay that she arrive on Monday instead of Saturday, for various good reasons. What surprised me was how sad I was about the smaller time frame. On the one hand, I feel like I care about her more than I realized.

    On the other hand, we've been together for one month. Furthermore, during this time, I have spent only two weeks in person with her. The remaining two weeks, we've kept in daily contact over the phone. When I look at it rationally it seems that I'm being a nitwit. Why should I feel sad like that about a couple days' less time? Perhaps I'm developing feelings for the idea of a person, instead of for a real person.

    Or maybe she's genuinely worth feeling sad about. This is as far as I've gotten with my thoughts. Any comments would be appreciated.
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Honestly? It sounds like you've found someone who you genuinely DO like and care about. The problem is, you aren't letting yourself care about her. Are you afraid to care?? Because frankly I see no reason that you should be afraid to let it happen if it's genuine.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    My roommate is far more into his gf than she is into him. I don't like the way it's made him.
     
  6. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Are you him? Is she her? No pain, no gain (even in the emotional sense). We aren't talking about you getting her pregnant, we're talking about a caring relationship.
     
  7. Sweetness

    Sweetness New Member

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    Best of Luck, hope it goes really well for both of ye!


    Hey Remember... If your not in,you cant win !!:)
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Because that's the normal thing to do when you care about somebody. A couple days is a lot when you don't see each other very much so it's normal to be sad that you will be seeing her less. As long as you aren't going crazy and crying and begging her to come earlier then she is planning, then there is nothing wrong with it.
     
  9. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    This is interesting, but I really feel like you are leaving some important detail(s) out. I'm not really reading into this situation very well.

    Why do you only talk on the phone? Is this a long distance thing? I very strongly feel that the phone will land you in friendzone very quickly. I tell guys to use to phone to flirt, make a date, and then hang up first. Talking every day is more like friends, family, therapy ... you know? It leaves nothing to do when you are together except :naughty: which always feels kind of shallow to me. I like to come home, get together, have a drink and go over the day, then have some fun and flirt, etc.

    I always wonder if guys get attached to women as a replacement for their mother. This is really the foundation and basis of my whole friendzoned theory. Are you kissing up to her, solving her problems, letting her make the decisions?

    Maybe you can give us some details about what you guys talk about, why you have to be on the phone, how things are going in general? I really feel like there is not enough info to go on, and I'm kind of shooting in the dark which I don't like to do for long...
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure that applies. I'm already in a relationship with her.
    :ugh: That's a good point. I don't want that to be the case.

    I'm careful not to be controlling, bc she's not a very dominant person to say the least, and I'm very blunt with how I think.
    Things are going well. We have fun on the phone sometimes, but other times talk to keep in touch. I don't think I have a choice about the latter, bc she's in NY and I'm not. Shallow sex visits aside, I should probably keep some meaningful discussion going over the phone, right?
     
  11. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    look man if youve only been with her for a month, you cant expect to know if you're in love with her or not.

    At the same time, it's long enough that it's not unusual to think about her a lot, and want to talk or see her a lot. Typically the infatuation period that people have with one another lasts for the first 3 months..... kindof like "ooh its someone new, i wanna try this and that with them," etc.

    Dont worry about being "too into her." Just cuz your boy is, doesnt mean you will. I'm on my 3rd long relationship in a row in the last 6 years, and both of my last girls, even though i loved them, i could tell they were more into me than i was them. But i still wanted to see them all the time.

    Dont over-think this. If you don't sense as much enthusiasm when u call her then calm it down a bit. If she seems excited to see you and be with you, there's no reason to think you're overdoing anything.

    Plus sex really has a way of making you feel a lot more into a person than you would be otherwise. After a night of sex, i'll be thinking about my GF almost the entire next day. Whereas if i dont see her that night, i tend to think about her waaaaay less the next day.... know what im saying
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I think watching my roommate I just got worried about being clingy. I just need to relax and have fun. She decided to skip her track meet because she wanted to come here early. She's coming all the way up from NY and staying in my bed, in my dorm for that week. I am touched. Or just good in bed. :naughty: Either way it's a good thing.
     
  13. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Actions speak louder than words. Her action of coming to your place from NY :eek: is a HUGE sign she likes you.

    I think you're over-worried for no good reason... just flirt, have fun, be cool. :)
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Thanks.

    I am having an amazing time with her right now. Great sex, too. She's here until Saturday. I refuse to acknowledge her imminent departure b/c it is going to absolutely blow.
     
  15. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    See, THIS is what you should be worried about. It shows your dependance on her, your desperation to be with her, and your lack of self confidence. The other way of thinking about this is something like "When she leaves I will have time to be myself, be with my friends, and it'll also prove to her that she likes me because I know that a woman hates to be away from a secure man." The distance can just as much work in your favor as to your disadvantage.

    "Give her the gift of missing you." Not sure who said it, probably some dating guru, but it's true. Give her some time and space, flirt while she is gone, make her realize what she is missing. :)
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I'm not sitting around looking sad and whining. I informed her once or twice that she would actually be staying for the rest of the semester, in a joking way. It's been really, really nice having her around, and I will miss her company, but I'm not going to mope about it or stop having a good time.
     
  17. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    The relationship is young. In my experience, most of my relationships were great wonderful and made me all warm and fuzzy inside for the first few months....key is finding someone who you still care for after the charm has worn off...or better yet, someone with whom the charm never leaves.

    Enjoy the time you have with her, dont question why...and just go where ever that takes you. Sure she'll leave, but she'll be back, think about that, not her leaving.
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Well, she left yesterday. I was down for a while and that's fucking OK, diablo, bc the contrast was huge. I have a bra she left me, I have sex dice, I have a million fucking condom wrappers, everything saying "I'm not here." Today I am doing work, continuing onwards, etc. I MISS her, I can't believe I found her in the first place, and everything's great. I am having a good time, getting a little bit smashed with my buddies here, no losery crap.
     

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