SRS i have some body image shit to deal with right now

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, May 8, 2008.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    At 5'11" I weighed 138lb about 3 years ago, I weigh 192lb today. I've put on a ton of weight, but I don't know it. I'm not really happy with my arms, they just aren't big enough though the definition and striations are there, even a nice seperation from the anterior delt to the upper arm, but its still not enough. I also lack girth in my shoulders, I just look like a bitch. My forarms are 16.5" around, my bicep is only 17".

    Anyway I was out talking to girls the other night, and I ran into a cool guy who frankly looked much much better than I do. I felt crushed for some reason. I don't even feel like I can wear a short-sleeve shirt because well, what's the point in even going to the gym anymore if I've failed? I'd post a picture, but you'll all think this thread is a joke. I know its a stupid emotion to think I have to be the best of the best in every way to enjoy or attempt something, but if I'm not ever going to be fucking jacked, then why am I still trying?

    I've been spending 7-hours per week in the gym for 3 years, and I almost have nothing to show for it. I feel like I look like that guy who just works-out on sundays.

    Then I take it back to girls. Why would any girl want me in her presence when there are other guys out there who look better? I mean sure, they want a guy who's cool and intelligent, but most people can't determine intellectual superiority in a 10-minute convo, but they can determine that you look like shit and there are much better options out there by people who actually make progress in the gym.

    flame me.
     
  2. RockDaBoat

    RockDaBoat New Member

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    First and foremost, if you're hitting the gym as often as you say you are and STILL not getting results, look at a) your diet (if this isn't right, you're wasting your time trying to build muscle) b) your workout and c) the intensity of your workout.

    You only have 17" arms? If that's made of solid mass (which at 5'11 and 192, it should be), you're arms are BIG. Think of it this way: even if, by some unlucky genetic fuck-up, you're unable to "get jacked", at least you'd be in better shape if you hadn't bothered going at all!

    If you're anything in real life as you are on these boards, it's no wonder you can't get a woman. You're a real whine. Seriously, man up, because an inferiority complex is NOT attractive to anyone.

    It seems to me that you could be flying high and loving life one moment and when even mildly challenged by a male, you'll cower and all your insecurities are brought to the surface all over again.

    Oh and post a pic.
     
  3. bunnyblueeyes

    bunnyblueeyes New Member

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    From a girls POV, we are not as visually stimulated as men...and we can tell what type of guy you are anyway, mostly by the shoes :) not by what you look like.

    And if your worried bout weight gaining, well, if your doing all the working out that you are, remember that muscle weighs more than fat b/c it's denser.

    But mainly, women are just as insecure(if not more) b/c of our pressure in society to look, be and act like the women men idolize on TV, movies, magazines, etc.

    So if you can be yourself, add some charm and bring something different to the plate than you will stand out to us.

    The toughie I would say is being secure w/o being cocky, COCKYNESS is the hugest turn-off for most women.
     
  4. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    8lb ago.

    I am really negative, but I am able to bottle that up and not let it out in public. Obviously I'm speaking candidly here.
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I know this, but why not take the best option available, which is the better looking guy?

    I wear bad ass shoes.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You've gotta be kidding me with those pics.

    Dude, work on your issues because you are far more cut than most guys. Just because you aren't some big body builder doesn't mean you look wimpish, trust me. Shit, I prefer less muscular men as it is. No offense to the really broly guys but I have always stayed away from them for the fact that they are far too obsessed with themselves and looks. If you are worried girls will always want the bigger guy then you shouldn't even care about those girls!
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Good lord at all the body image insecurity. You guys are fine. Seriously, go out and look around this country a little bit. There are a TON of people who are way more out of shape than you.

    This comes from the guy who's 5-5 and under 100 pounds.
     
  8. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Its weird, my forearms are 16.5" around...and they look tiny to me. Like seriously, I'm looking at my forearms right now and I feel like they're an embarrassment. Apparently when I look in the mirror, I don't see the same thing other people see. I was happy last week when I was in Maryland because it was cool enough that I could wear sweaters and coats and not have to worry about people looking at me.

    How do I learn to not feel inferior when the inferiority if obvious:
    car, bfi%, money, cloths, watch, lifestyle, and pretty much any and everything else. I don't know how to be OK with not being the best. If I'm not the best, then aren't I a compromise every step of the way?
     
  9. bunnyblueeyes

    bunnyblueeyes New Member

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    My experience with "the better looking guy".... I was asked out by a male model and thought "WOW" I've never been with such a good-looking guy...and than he took me on a date. First he took me to a parking lot to listen to Disney soundtrack songs(buh!) and than showed me about 200 pics of himself posing(gah, and i threwup a lil in my throat) So i was disgusted, avoided him and his phone calls since!

    Moral being-Just b/c their good looking, doesn't mean they are good...in bed or out! or that they are the best option...women want more than just someone to look at, we need to be entertained
     
  10. RockDaBoat

    RockDaBoat New Member

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    You look great, man! (no homo!)

    Seriously, from the way you spoke, I was expecting a skinny-fat dude with no developement at all. You look better than most of the chumps out there (you look like me only 15lbs less... fluffy around the edges!) You need to sort out your mental image.


    Wow, that couldn't be healthy.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: The last thing I've ever looked at when checking guys out is their arm size. Stop being in your head so much.
     
  12. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I understand and agree with that, but until we've spent a few hours together, you don't have a chance to see my "well developed, interesting, unique, fun life." All you have to go with are aesthetics and body language. I was talking to a girl at a really nice bar in Dallas called Mercy, and the girl told me she thought I was the owner, and its the 2nd time I've heard this so I don't think body language is my problem.
     
  13. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I appreciate the compliments, really, but I can look in the mirror and its all over.
     
  14. RockDaBoat

    RockDaBoat New Member

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    If you can't love yourself, why should anyone else?

    As Beer said, stop being in your head so much!
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    .
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It's not, I know I was born premature, have a high metabolism, and have always been tiny. I am gaining weight though, so that's good.

    My point was that I'm not exactly muscular (I'm pretty thin,skinny arms and legs) yet I'm still confident and secure about myself. The OP's beliefs about his body image are unfounded. I know that isn't going to make the insecurity go away, but it can't hurt for him to hear it.

    Pic of me just sitting here for reference:

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    you look better than me but i feel better about myself than you do

    how fucked up is that?
     
  18. justkristen

    justkristen New Member

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    You know, I notice a common theme in a lot of your posts about being *The Best*. You will eventually need to come to the realization that there will ALWAYS be someone out there better in some way.


    There is always somebody smarter, funnier, richer, better looking, stronger, more personality, etc. The important thing to remember is that the people that choose to be around you actually want to be around you, and accept you as is.

    I have never heard of a girl leaving a guy because another dude has bigger arms. It's how you treat someone that will determine if they want to be with you or not.
     
  19. bunnyblueeyes

    bunnyblueeyes New Member

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    I don't think there is a single person in this world without an insecurity of themselves...we are our own toughest critics, ya know? what we see in ourselves is much different than what others see in us...
     
  20. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I know you can probably never be the best, but knowing this, you should not be surprised when someone outperforms you and crushes you. I am comfortable with my friends and all, but I would not be surprised if a woman left me for a better looking guy...they always have.

    I guess I have to suck it up and try to learn to enjoy what I have while its around. My buddy is staying in a really nice penthouse downtown for a month. He was giving me shit because my first comment was, "wow, only a month, its going to suck when you leave." lol, I'm a super negative bitch.

    The only thing in my life that I can really enjoy are track days. That's the only thing I can do and actually enjoy it, but its all about running down much faster cars with skill and precision. I don't really enjoy much else in life.
     
  21. bunnyblueeyes

    bunnyblueeyes New Member

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    see the glass half full, not half empty and thats how you'll get and keep the girl... and this statement is very true...

    I have never heard of a girl leaving a guy because another dude has bigger arms. It's how you treat someone that will determine if they want to be with you or not.
     
  22. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Everybody is insecure about themselves in some way or another...

    I think you look fine...

    And every girl/guy looks for and likes something different.. I personally LOVE guys that are a little bit thicker(not muscle wise). Love handles are so sexy to me. This may stem because I am a little chunkier and I think I am sexy the way I am? I dunno...

    I think you might be Muscle-orexic(or whatever term you want to use).... You still see yourself as skinny, even when you are not.. I worked at a tanning bed, and people would get tanorexic. They felt they were so white in comparison in what they really were.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Maybe they just happened to leave you for men you deemed better looking. In reality, maybe it had nothing to do with the fact that they seemed more attractive, but that they just didn't care as much about things like you do.
     
  24. justkristen

    justkristen New Member

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    Did they actually say to you "I'm leaving because he's better looking"? I will tell you that's probably not the real reason.

    You said yourself you are super negative. There's a lot of people out there that just cannot handle that day after day, myself included. I know a few people like that and I know it sounds mean, but I avoid them like the plague. I just don't want them anywhere near me because their attitude gets me highly annoyed and pretty much blows my day, puts me in a crappy mood that I can't shake off.
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Well, with an attitude like that, no wonder women leave you. It';s not all about looks. Yeah, it's easier to say "I'm just not physically attractive" than "I really need to change my attitude" but you're selling yourself short.

    Doesn't matter how good you look, very few people want to be around a downer.

    Also...being "a super negative bitch" is not something I would be laughing about.
     

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